An Ode to an Impeached Governor

[LiberalHeart]

There once was a pol from ILL
whose hopes to stay seated were nil.
What'd he do, this fluffy-haired fool?
Quoted the poet we knew in school.
Will he now tell us which word rhymes
with the phrase "political crimes"?

____

Okay, everybody ... your turn.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Did he quote Vachel Lindsay?

Making his crimes seem so flimsy
That people will thing a conviction's quite whimsy?

[bluestatecowboys]

2. A musical ode to the Pay To Play culture in my home state . . .

Chicago's Blue State Cowboys recently weighed in on the political cesspool that is the Land Of Lincoln by recording "Pay To Play (But Keep Love In Your Heart)." Watch the music video -- http://blogs.chicagoreader.com/politics/2009/01/06/pay-play-video/ -- and you'll know why the Chicago Reader's Ben Joravsky wrote that the song "tells you pretty much everything you need to know about the culture of politics in our fair state."


PAY TO PLAY (But Keep Love In Your Heart)

VERSE
All my life I've been a workin' man
On Chicago's northwest side
Livin' check to check, never gettin' ahead
No matter how hard I tried

I had an old friend from the neighborhood
He grew up to do just fine
He couldn't read or write to save his life
But I guess his boss didn't mind

Now, I never quite knew what my old friend did
To get that money rollin' in
But life, I guess, can be pretty good
For a state committeeman

So, one night over beer at the local bar
I said, "How'd you make your dough?"
My friend just grinned a wicked grin
And said, "Here's all you need to know"

CHORUS
You've got to pay-to-play in this town
If you wanna make that deal go down
It's who you know inside the Big Machine
Just find the man that's behind the man
And put some money in his hand
That's how we try to keep our city green

VERSE
Well, the liquor flowed and the stories flew
And my old friend bared his soul
About rigging bids and getting neighbor kids
Good jobs on a ghost payroll

He said he'd be happy to help me out
If there was anything he could do
Like try to arrange a zoning change
Or put me on a movie crew

Well we talked and talked until last call
And I told him I was beat
Then he climbed aboard his hired truck
To see a man about a Senate seat

And late that night as I lay in bed
You know I finally figured it out
My friend didn't need to read or write
'Cuz he had himself some clout

CHORUS
You've got to pay-to-play in this town
If you wanna make that deal go down
It's who you know inside the Big Machine
Just find the man that's behind the man
And put some money in his hand
That's how we try to keep our city green

CHORUS
You've got to pay-to-play in this town
If you wanna make that deal go down
It's who you know inside the Big Machine
If you wanna stand out
You gotta know who gets the handout
That's how we try to keep our city green
It's a daily job to keep our city green

[grantcart]

3. Only because Blago loves poetry

The end for the crook is in sight.
But he will not go quietly in the night
So before he hears the jailhouse door
He rushes to claim he did it for the poor
Fitzgerald is coming, will he get the wife?
and will both of them serve 20 to life?

[RiverStone]

4. What rhymes with "Blago" and "impeached"?

[B o d i]

5. haiku

Senate seat open
Scratch my back I'll scratch yours too
Rod Blagojavich

[LiberalHeart]

6. Warning: This one involves tits.

The Governor examined ladies' boobs,
kept mortgages from going down the tubes.
Even found a liver to transplant--
so some things he can do, others he can't
(like selling a seat in the US senate).
He saw the law, then brazenly bent it.