The closing hour quackitude of a drunk

[IDemo]

Watching the newsless conference today, I couldn't help but get the clear mental image of Dubya, Camel cigarette burning dangerously close to his fingertips, slouched over his umpteenth Jack Daniels of the night. It's like he's retelling for the thousandth time the story of his disastrous 8 year marriage for the bartender, who has stopped even pretending to listen anymore and offers only an occasional grunt.

"You know, I'm never gonna meet them helicopter drivers, them National Guard drivers. Ever droven a helicopter, Dave?"

"Nope."

"All yer friends go and call you a failure, that don't mean you done failed. It just means you need to pick a better class of friends. And no Frenchies, either! Urrp."

"Hell, I was swoopin' down, scooping folks off a' their rooftops in Katrina town left and right. Like a presidential Spider Man, I was! Better believe it! But nooooo, all I hear is 'you wadn't fast enough!' Gimme 'nother one, Dick."

"It's Dave, GW, and it's two AM. Maybe you'd better call it a night and we'll call you a cab."

"Screw that, I'll take the Segway home. Oh damn, I forgot. Pickles locked up the Segway in the basement after my little acceedent. I'll just walk."

Stands up from barstool, faceplants in slow motion.

[BrklynLiberal]

1. ROTFLMAO!!!!

[liberalmuse]

2. LMAO!

Thank you. I needed that.

[valerief]

3. Ever droven a helicopter? Love the "droven."

:rofl:

[Mira]

4. He called them "chopper drivers" in the Press conference. I AM NOT KIDDING

[IDemo]

5. I has droven a chopper. Jus' not a heelichopper