True story, I swear. Telling inspired by the trailer for Gran Torino. That stuff really happens.

flamin lib

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Sat Jan-17-09 04:47 PM
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True story, I swear. Telling inspired by the trailer for Gran Torino. That stuff really happens.

I work the graveyard shift at a convenience store/bait shop. Not exactly where I thought I�d be at 61 with two master�s degrees and 20 years negotiating $ multi-million deals with international companies but life�s what it is. The managers like to hire us �mature� people because they, too, are mature and besides, we�re real reliable compared to gen Y.

There�s one kid who got his job because his father stocks the snack shelf and does a great job for the store. He�s 18, just out of high school and absolutely worthless. Really, not my imagination. Unkempt, overweight, sits on his butt all day, crude beyond any socially acceptable measure and is even surly with the customers. Nobody likes the kid.

For some reason he singled me out to elicit outrage. He shows me the worst sort of porn stored on his cell phone and makes really over-the-top commentary whenever I�m around, usually involving sexual contact between us. Not that any one else is spared, mind you.

During the overlap between his shift and mine he was sitting on a barstool next to the cash register. Apropos of nothing he says to me, �Picture my balls in your mouth.� It took about 5 seconds to sink in. I reply, �Picture my foot in your face.�

�Naaa, can�t happen,� was the response.

I took two steps, threw a front kick that fell a foot short of his face followed by a basic punch that ended just short of his nose. Now, it wasn�t a pretty kick and my form was nothing to be proud of, what with not practicing Ti Quan Do for more than thirty years but all he could see was the sole of my cross trainer followed by my fist hovering an inch from his face.

Without saying a word I stepped backward to where I was. After that we didn�t speak and he was even subdued with the rest of the staff.

A month or so later a co-worker, a retired woman who works just to maintain social contact, asked if the stories were true, did I really threaten to kick Casey in the face. Well, yeah, I said. Lucky I didn�t actually do it �cause I�d go to jail and he�d go to the emergency room. Besides, it cost me.

�Cost you how? Did he file charges?�

�No, pulled a hamstring and walked with a limp for two weeks. As long as he wasn�t around anyway.�

�Well, I�m glad somebody showed him that old people can stand up for themselves. Wish you woulda� connected. Would serve him right.�

Casey and I did speak just before he got fired for giving himself a raise out of the cash register. He asked if I really would have kicked him. All I said was that you shouldn�t mess with people you don�t know because you don�t know who they are, what they�ve done or what they�re capable of.

This is a true story, I swear. Just thought I'd share.