On the eve of MLK day, a confession by a reformed bigot.

[angrycarpenter]

Growing up White in Alabama during the 60s-70s I swam in a sea of bigotry. It was everywhere and there was no one to say any different. Horrible racial stereotypes were treated as fact.

In the small mountaintop community where my parents had the bad judgment to settle, racism was almost a required philosophy. Everyone in that backward little farming community was a racist, everyone. I heard it from my teachers. I heard it from my pastor. Every single adult that ever said anything to me said hate and mistrust the black man, except one, more on that later.

The town of Crossville Ala. was an isolated little town on top of sand mountain. Until 1972 there was still a sign leading into town that said "N----- don't let the sun set on your back". The Klan was a common sight there. Many of the people in town had KKK bumperstickers on their cars. The teachers told racist jokes to the class. The cool kids wore KKK T-shirts to school. Klan literature was everywhere. My parents moved there in 1974, I still don't know why.

For a long time I went along with the crowd. I learned the jokes, I read the poorly written klan newsletters, I learned to hate a group that I had never really had any contact with. Looking back on those days I am filled with shame at the things that I thought and said.

We were poor. Absolutely dirt poor. My mom was a nurse, my dad was a farm laborer. We lived in houses that were barely fit for habitation. We dressed in clothes that make me sick to my stomach when I look at the old photos. Living in an all white community the only people who were readily available to beat up were the poor kids. I cannot even begin to recount the abuse I took at the hands of those overgrown boys just because my clothes were poor and I had the gall to be one of the smartest kids in school. One of the names I was called over and over was "n----- lover" because it was the worst thing their small minds could come up with.

The year I was in seventh grade a transformative event happened. We were to pick the name of a great American out of a hat to do a report on. I had the good/bad luck to pick Martin Luther King. I went to work with my usual thoroughness and did the research. We had been taught little about him so I alone in that school knew the outline of his life. I was especially struck by his courage in confronting the same kind of bullies that used to beat me for being poor. I said as much in my oral report. The teacher gave me an A and praised my report in front of the class. That bought me one of the worst beatings I have ever had. There were three of them and I still remember their names.

As I grew older I began to see that they just wanted someone to hate. There was no real reason for them to hate but a small mind needs a scapegoat like they need air. My mother was the only person in the world who showed any love for me. She was the one who scolded every ignorant thing that came out of my mouth in those days. She is quite possibly the least racist person I have ever known. Over time her influence washed away the hate that surrounded me every time I left the house. She showed me that to the First Baptist Church crowd all poor people looked the same. I think that was the point underlying every word Dr. King said.

It took me years to ruthlessly cleanse the filth from my mind and I am not fool enough to think that my job is done. We are all filled with prejudice, it is an everyday battle to try to look at the world with the blinders off. Racism is a chronic disease. I won't ever consider myself cured but as long as I remember the teachings of Dr. King and my mother I will stay in remission.

[PDJane]

1. my friend, I empathize.

with it all, right down to mom being an influence to cherish.

Solidarity.

[pnorman]

2. K &R!

I'm still aglow from the final 90+ minutes of that "We Are One" concert I was able to view on the internet, earlier today. And your posting gave it a further push.

pnorman

[angrycarpenter]

5. I watched it too.

I got teary eyed.:applause: :applause:

[Suich]

3. K & R! n/t

[panader0]

4. Fine story. It needs another rec.

[ZombieHorde]

6. I like your story because it reinforces my anti-South bigotry.

Haha!

[angrycarpenter]

7. I have it too

But willful ignorance is one of the few things I cannot bring myself to forgive.

[ekwhite]

32. I wouldn't be so smug if I were you

One of the most racist places I ever lived in was Northeastern Pennsylvania, followed closely by New Jersey.

[ZombieHorde]

86. I have been to both those places, but I do not live at either locations.

Since I don't know all of the places you have been, or how long you were at all those places, or at which point of your life you were at all those places, or what you were doing when you were at all of those places, gaining information from your post is difficult.

[Kermitt Gribble]

98. ekwhite is correct.

Here's some more info: I lived in western Pennsylvania for 36 years in a rural community. When I was 25, I moved to South Carolina for a year and a half, then moved back to PA. From my experience, SC has nothing on PA as far as racism is concerned. I realized this upon moving back to PA, when I had a hard time conversing with friends and family, due to racist remarks being woven into almost every aspect of every conversation. I also realized that I, myself, was a racist for the first 25 years of my life. Ironically, moving to SC opened my eyes.

[navarth]

8. I commend you.

I was much luckier, growing up in a big city with a well-established black middle class, and having a father and grandfather that taught us the folly of prejudice. It must have been much harder for you. Good on ya.

[angrycarpenter]

9. My brother is not so enlightened.

He is a bitter, hateful, rush listening, Texas living, pain in the ass. We really do not talk often.

[navarth]

14. That's a tough one.

I guess you'll have to concentrate on what you have in common (you already know that, sorry).

Reminds me of the old saying, 'you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family'.

[omega minimo]

10. DU at its absolute BEST

Some of us who take strong stands here are accused of wanting to be in an "echo chamber."

If that were true, we wouldn't be here.

I don't post so often -- like a lot of well meaning DUers who don't give up altogether -- the same old cliched, bullyistic bang your head against the wall, black and white top dog non-thinking gets to be a waste of time.

And then this....................

Absolutely beautiful AngryCarpenter and absolutely human.

Your story, beautifully written resonates with all of us -- those who have or have not had your experience.

This is an opportunity to learn from each other. To open up, expand our thinking/feeling, just as you had to do.

I WANT to hear from folks from all sides of life on DU and see how we find common ground.

That's why the tit for tat BS is just boring BS.

Regarding your place of upbringing, let me say IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. And someone who has their eyes/heart opened knows what you said -- it is a daily challenge to be consistent with your (enlightened) beliefs.

I once posted something to the effect that knowing we all have to struggle with our conditioning and subtle bigotries, got me attacked as an admitted bigot.... although it WAS by the Most Notorious Mindfucking Disruptor That Shall Not Be Named.

I grew up in the era of MLK and in a diverse city in a diverse state, with not quite liberal but ethical parents who didn't allow the N-word or anything near like it. I still get flak from Mom if I do my Schwarzenegger imitation "Don't make fun of people with accents!!!!!!"

We had kids bused into elementary school during the integration era. I went to a mixed race high school.

This is California. I moved out several miles closer to the all white suburbs and guess what? My new "friends" suddenly dropped the N-bomb.

Huh?

I called them on it and said what -- in a watery and wimpy way is another version of -- what yer kin and neighbors down in AL may say to this day:

''THAT'S JUST THE WAY WE WERE RAISED, IT'S JUST WHAT WE'RE USED TO.................."

THANK YOU FOR BEING MORE EVOLVED AND MORE LOVED BY YOUR MOTHER AND MORE HONEST THAN THAT.

Bless you.

OM

[angrycarpenter]

11. Thank you

I was nervous to talk about it but I felt that the story had to be told, even if it meant the end of my days here. It is the grand legacy of DR. King that he showed how ignorant institutionalized racism is. I feel that he saved me from a lifetime of being angry at the wrong people.

[omega minimo]

12. that's why MLK's dream was of little children holding hands -- the messages start early

he showed how violence reinforces the hatred.

You are brave.

[truedelphi]

54. People are human. And to be "racist" when young and surrounded

By that attitude is not a desirable thing, but what counts is how you matured.

People mature at all different points in their life. My mom was very racist. Then our lily white neighborhood changed (This was in the late sixties)

The fabric store where she worked had an influx of "colored people" as after they paid for their mortgages (set at a different and higher rate than us white people) they needed to sew their kids' clothes or else go with the cheaper, less flattering styles sold at bargain stores.

It took my mom about a year, and then she suddenly realized that people are people. That the color of your skin doesn't determine very much about you at all. She found that she could explain certain points about adjusting patterns to fit growing kids to her new clientele, and they caught on as quickly if not more so than the old clientele. As none of her white friends sewed, a lifetime of experience behind a sewing machine came pouring out. At last she had friends to exchange ideas about color and patterns, style, design and simple ways to do complicated procedures, etc.

The new clientele was more respectful of her as a working person than her longtime friends, whose attitude had been, "Why do you work when your husband makes enough that you don't have to?" Instead she would come home from work glowing from compliments that the customers had showered upon her. When eventually we moved from that area, she really missed her customers.

Ironically the lily white neighborhood we re-located to eventually became an African American neighborhood. But my mom pretty much did not notice the change. After the fabric store episode, people were just people.

[Name removed]

77. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[angrycarpenter]

79. Jobless and living with my parents

Unemployment still has not come through, Plenty of drama there but I've kept it to myself. Thank you for your concern.

[DKRC]

13. K&R!

:thumbsup:

[Mira]

15. Beautifully told, courageously presented and timely to a fault ! Thank you

for sharing this with us. I frankly do not understand why you say down thread you worried about repercussions from the DU community.
Maybe something I have not grasped yet. I've been around a while, but still learn the more I hang around here.

I immigrated to the South in 1964, I was on my own, and not yet 20.
The people around me did their best to instill racial division and separation and inferiority into my head.
Instead I made friends with everyone who was nice to me, and that included some of all the people.
I believe racism is best served from a very early age, with lots of heat and fervor.

I also believe, and that may bring me criticism, that racism in general is another way of humans looking for someone to look down on in order to elevate themselves. And that is most often needed by people in the lower social strata struggling to survive with some self esteem derived from putting down others.

My personal prejudice, that I fight as hard as I can when I catch myself, is to look down on people who are deliberately keeping themselves ignorant, though they have a functioning brain, and can read and write.
I just can't fathom the ditto head mentality, who let Rush read the newspaper for them.
I would have a helluva time with your brother.

[angrycarpenter]

16. It is hard to bare your soul.

you never know what to expect. I remember a post sometime last year when I shared a episode from my life when I was homeless. By the time it was over the flame war that ensued nearly made me quit even coming here. I hope now that the election is over that the trolls have found another place to go.

[Jambalaya]

39. Class War

Excellent piece. Am very familiar with the internecine doin's of ole Alabama. Amazing that prejudice seems to be genetic in some parts of this country,especially the South. Ever notice where prejudice is the most rampant,so is poverty? Look at West Virginia. Look at Arkansas.Look at Mississippi.

The statement I will take with me forever is your phrase that" all poor people look alike. "

Exactly. This is class war on this country now. And the color code now is "green',as in $$$.

[Skittles]

17. a wonderful read

:thumbsup:

[jules1962]

18. Note to all non Southerners

We are not all racist. We are all not ignorant. We are not all Bible thumping Republicans either. I have lived in the south all of my life and I see the problems that we have in our area. Yes, racist beliefs and ignorance are all in the south. Not everyone subscribes to them though.To have a bigotry against a whole group of people based on the region that they live is just as ignorant as having bigotry against a whole group of people based on their skin color,religion,culture etc. I can see by the some of the replies that ignorance is everywhere.Otherwise, non southerners wouldn't judge southerners as a whole.
Good Lord people. We should be a nation that tries to come together, not tear each other apart. Have you even listened to Obama's speeches? Please let go of the hate. It is hard enough being surrounded by Republicans without being bashed on DU for being from the south. Until you have lived in a very conservative area while being raised a very liberal person, you can't begin to know what it is like. I never have been and never will be a bigoted person. I wish the same for you.
Meanwhile I will fly my American flag Tuesday. I will ring by dinner bell 44 times a noon. I will celebrate the wonderful men that we have elected to guide us through the next 4 (hopefully 8) years. :party:

[angrycarpenter]

20. Well said

My story of a crappy little corner of 1970's Alabama is not meant to be a condemnation of the whole south. I have to explore my feelings for my own home state, there is prejudice there too.

[Pacifist Patriot]

30. The anti-south assumptions regarding racism bother me as well.

I am a Georgia girl who was raised during the same time period and my experience was 180 degrees opposite of the OP. Racism in my area was seen as ignorant, cruel and the domain of the socio-economically depressed. Which in it's own way supports the OP. When a scape goat is not needed, it isn't used.

On the other hand, the worst community of racism I have ever experienced was in a neighborhood in the heart of a supposedly liberal and enlightened northern city. I am not blind to the fact that slavery was a southern institution and as a region has a much longer and more prevalant history for racism in action.

But I think contemporary southerners do not deserve to be painted with a conveniently broad brush. I think a better lesson here is that hatred can be used by any group of people for any reason.

[Patiod]

42. South AND north

As I often point out, my own Pennsylvania, the first state offering true religious freedom (Thank you Friend Penn), is the home of a surprising number of hate groups -- stil -- to this day.

My Dad's uncle was a Klansman, and my dad remembers seeing Klansmen in upstate Pennsylvania when he was a small boy in the late 1920s/early 1930s. What was funny is that my Dad's family was Catholic - he's not sure if this uncle was Catholic (he married into the family) but the guy's wife definitely was, and the Klan in the South was anti-Catholic. I guess they couldn't be that picky up north in Pennyslvania coal country, given all the Catholics working the mines.

This was all during the Depression, when the mines and the banks shut down, leaving the people without jobs or money. Many of the towns in the region became ghosttowns. As in many towns in the OP's South, hate grew in the soil of poverty and hopelessness.

At some point, the uncle's house burnt down, and since the banks were shut and no one had insurance, he and his wife were reduced to living in a tent, later a wooden shack with dirt floors, and working the (poor) land by hand.

[angrycarpenter]

45. I remember

The Klan standing at an intersection in Albertville Ala. in 1977 collecting donations as if they were a charity. People were giving them money too. They came up to the car window and said something like "show that you are a good American and donate to our organization. My father took a few coins out of his pocket and gave it to the man, dressed in klan robes, and my mother yelled at him for at least the next 15 minutes. I think he just did it to avoid a confrontation but the one he got was worse than any klansman could dish out. My mom is a redhead with the temper to go along with it.

[johnnyplankton]

81. Thank You Southern Folks!

I grew up in Boston during busing, does that make me a racist?
Some of the DUers aren't much better than the racists they
purport to hate. So if I call Angry Carpenter a drama queen,
does that mean I hate queens? I don't think so. Divine is my
favorite comic actor. I'M SOOOOOOO CONFUUUUSED!!!!!!!!!

[MrMickeysMom]

93. Yes, you are confused, alright

So, welcomed to the club and DU!

[navarth]

91. delete

and Happy MLK Day

[Sequoia]

49. I grew up in the south and now live in N. Cal

and let me tell you the town I'm in now I've seen trucks flying the Confederate Flag which I never saw flapping in the town of North Carolina I grew up in. However, the next town over had the "N don't let the sun go down on you" sign.

[Ladyhawk]

73. I'm in Northern California, too. I've seen the Confederate flag venerated here, too.

This part of California has its share of bigots.

[Sequoia]

85. Sigh, I know.

[sutz12]

19. Great read!

It brings to mind that often the hardest thing we have to learn is that much of what we learned at a very young age was crap.

So many of the problems of this world are based on this kind of indoctrination that you are striving to rid yourself of. It brings to mind how important what we teach our children is.

While I didn't grow up in the south, I, too remember how often I would say something that in retrospect I realize was the most heinous kind of bigotry. It was reflexive, automatic. And I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, in an area with very few black people and presumably, no reason for the kind of hatred that one sees in the deep South. It has been a struggle to suppress all that and try to rid my speech of those kinds of hurtful colloquialisms.

I'm getting better, much like you. Hell, I even can resist any urge to laugh at racist jokes people sometime share, and am learning to avoid people who find that kind of 'humor' entertaining.

[OKDem08]

21. Well stated. I can relate.

I grew up in rural Oklahoma and racist attitudes were pervasive in my home, school, and community. I recognized it as wrong even as a child yet BOTH of my parents maintain those attitudes to this day.

[G_j]

22. the best thing I could have read

on MLK's birthday! Thank you so much!

[liberaltrucker]

23. I hear ya, bro

I live in Walker County, near Jasper. Growing up, the N word was second
nature. Bull Connor and the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church
changed my mind forever. To be sure, we discarded our bigotry by different
means, but we BOTH discarded it. Feel free to PM any time, my newfound friend!

:fistbump:

[Number23]

24. "I am not fool enough to think that my job is done."

Honey, we are ALL works in progress! :)

I loved your OP. Happy to rec

[truthrocks]

25. You must continue writing your story and

get it out to the world! Just this little snippet is a transformative read, both in content and context. The depth of bigotry and hatred, as you describe it, is a pernicious disease that gets handed down generationally, and by simple osmosis in tight knit communities. Your struggle to extricate yourself from its grasp, carries a powerful message. I do hope your words will someday be published, so that as many people as possible will benefit.

[Jambalaya]

41. Profiles in Prejudice

Agreed. How about a series of essays? It is my sincerest hope that the Obama administration will reestablish a program for an accent on art and culture-especially literature.That means funding gifted writers programs. Elevate the dialogue,know what I mean? Yes,you do. You've done it here. You did it in Alabama. Now, we gotta get your talent out there to the rest of the non DU world!Ideas,anyone?

[Aristus]

26. God is great. I'm so glad you had someone to instruct your mind against blind hatred.

Some day, we will all live in peace and brotherhood. And just so I don't lose my faith in humanity, I intend to live my life as if that day had already happened... B-)

[XOKCowboy]

27. I have the same background..

Happy to Kick and Recommend

[Vanje]

28. Outstanding post. Thanks nt

[mnhtnbb]

29. The same people that taught hate, disrespect, distrust for people with black skin

are now preaching/teaching hate, disrespect, distrust for gays.

Hate and bigotry continue in this country, they've just chosen a new target.

[angrycarpenter]

36. That is one that makes even less sense

Gays are our sons and daughters. Every family has a few. I hear about families disowning their children for being gay and I wonder if these people are even capable of love at all.

[Karenina]

48. From the musical, "South Pacific"

You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!

[navarth]

87. excellent quote thank you n/t

[beac]

60. Unfortunately, for some people it takes finding out that their own son or daughter is gay for

them to realize how stupid and vile their anti-gay prejudices were. I have seen it happen in my own family a few times. For those who can't let go of their hate even when it is their own child... well, some people should never be parents in the first place.

Alas, skin color is something that is immediately apparent and so it's nearly impossible for those who harbor deep feelings of racism to have the experience of getting to know and like the PERSON behind the skin because they will consciously self-segregate on top of whatever social and financial segregation exists.

For those like the poster's mother up-thread who are thrust into contact through work, the opportunity to find common ground breeds understanding and trust and ultimately breaks down the false barrier of race.

This is why we MUST keep striving to help ALL citizens to achieve not just equality under the law, but financial and social equality. Understanding brings us together.

I'm a pretty cynical person, as a rule, but I truly, TRULY hope that Obama will do some real good for this country by both his deeds and as a symbol.

My little nephew turns two this week. He will never remember a time without a black President. This gives me hope.

[ekwhite]

31. Fayetteville, NC, 1950's and 1960's here

On the main road to town, they had a Knights of the KKK Welcome You to Fayetteville, NC. Whites Only signs in the stores. I remember asking my mother about a 'Whites Only' sign when I was a child. I thought it meant you could only wash white colored laundry. MLK was responsible for my change also. Seeing him on TV when I was young made a big impression. Reading what was going on in Selma, hearing about the church burnings, the lynchings, etc., affected me greatly. I was 16 when Dr. King was assassinated. It was one of the worst days of my life.

God bless you for having survived living in rural Alabama and coming out whole.

[bertman]

33. Thank you, angrycarpenter. I share a similar experience but in North Carolina.

What I never could understand was how so many bible-quoting christians could blithely ignore the hatred they had toward their fellow Americans.

I remember during the early 60's and in '64 when the Civil Rights Act passed, how our Southern Baptist church congregation was so up in arms that they might have some black people actually walk into one of their services. Some of the nicest people I have ever known became raving racists when that topic came up. I was shocked by the ferocity of the bigotry, but I don't really know why because I had been exposed to it all of my life. I guess it was because I had never seen it expressed by some of these so-called good christians, who until then had been paragons of virtue in my world. I am happy to say that there were some in the congregation who said they would welcome ANYONE who wanted to worship with them, but those dissenters were a small minority.

I think that as much as anything these folks did not want to be reminded of what our black fellow Americans had suffered at our hands. As far as these white christian folks were concerned, when the south lost the Civil War the slaves were freed and that was that. To these whites, the inferior schools, the inability to get work at anything other than menial jobs, the crushing social structure and the separate but UNequal housing all were a result of the black people being "sorry". Never a thought was given to the conditions that came before this sad state of affairs and the legacy of slavery that was lying just below the surface all around us. We expected the black folks to do our work for us whenever we needed it done, then they would disappear somewhere away and out of sight, so as not to remind us of any unpleasantness.

To this day it makes me sad that my father, who was a very kind and loving man who tried to live by what he was taught at church, could never get beyond his feelings of racism. He was never overt about it but he just could not accept that black folks were equal to white folks. Thank goodness, he did not actively push that on us kids as some of my friends' parents did.

So, from one southerner to another, I thank you deeply for expressing so well your experience. We both are lucky to have risen above that nasty, ignorant current of despair that so many of our friends and family are still trapped in.

[angrycarpenter]

37. I remember

Once an old black couple came by when church was starting and said that they were on a car trip and wanted to come to church services with us. Of course the pastor was not going to turn them away. They sat in the back and left quickly after the service. Those fine christians talked about that for weeks. It even took a while before anyone sat in the spot where they had sat.

My father is the same way. He was raised in a time when segregation was just the way things were done. He has never been hateful to a black person that I know of but he has too many outdated ideas and is too set in his ways to change.

My mother was raised a poor cotton share cropper. She worked side by side with black people and wore the same flour sack dresses they did. She saw how the landlord in town treated them all the same, like scum.

[Time for change]

34. What a great story

Congratulations to you on your transformation. That took a lot of courage, considering the circumstances.

I think that one of the key sentences is "I learned to hate a group that I had never really had any contact with." I think that one of the keys to prejudice is unfamiliarity with the objects of the prejudice. When I was in college in Indiana there was a time when there was only one black student in our dorm. We had our share of racists in the dorm, but this student was accepted, and fit in with most all of us without incident.

This story was related to me by one of my fellow students in the dorm, Greg, who was one of the most obvious racists, but even he accepted this black student, Jim:

One day some of the students from my dorm were driving around in a car, with Jim in the car and Greg driving, and Greg began making some nasty racist comments, either forgetting that Jim was in the car or forgetting that he was black. He did it simply out of habit. When he realized that Jim was in the car he felt very bad about it.

[jazzjunkysue]

35. Beautiful. You have a beautiful heart. Thank you.

:hug:

[madmom]

38. Seventh grade must have been the magical year, funny I just wrote this yesterday...

A personal experience, when I was a pukey 7th grader, I started jr. hi. after the semester had already started. Being new to the city, school, jr.hi. and to a racially diverse school system, I was surely out of my element. The school tried to keep segregation alive by putting "groups" of peers together when doling out lockers, etc. Since I came in after the start, my locker was smack in the middle of a group of blacks students, me being the only white,also female. In the second week a group of about 4-5 black young ladies were harassing me, name calling, pushing each other into me, just kid stuff to make them look tough to each other.A voice from behind me said "leave her alone, she didn't do anything to you!" and they stopped and never did it again, in fact we became "almost" friends. The black guy who said this faded into the crowd. I have idea who he was or what his name was. Now this situation could have gone either way. I could have hated black people because of the girls, or I could suck it up and say they were just high school kids and let it go with no racial overtones.

Now with me growing up in an atmosphere of ignorance and bigotry (my family is from a state that thrives on this stuff) my parents were always bigots, as was my siblings,how and why did I decide to take the other path? I am the only liberal, the only dem.,the only one who has no problems inter-acting with "those people".I have often wondered about this, and have yet to figure it out.

[Klukie]

66. The way I figure it is.....

that you have and always had a great sense of justice, empathy, and compassion. Without them you would have been as hollow as your family.

[Zodiak]

40. I went through something similar in the 80's.

I grew up in a North Texas city with a decent population, but very backwards principles. Surrounded by racism and bigotry all day long, I failed to notice it, and failed to notice how it had infected me.

It took me leaving my home-town and actually meeting people to get over my prejudices (I went to college in Galveston on scholarship). Every time I come home, I cringe at half of the things my parents say, but I am damned thankful that I had to opportunity to grow beyond the small mindedness of my hometown.

Thanks for this thread....it lets me know that other DUers, like me, have walked both sides of the street re:bigotry. It is a life-long struggle.

[angrycarpenter]

43. I was never around black people until I joined the Army

That was an education. Some were good some were idiots, just like everyone else. I was shocked at how quickly the mention of Alabama led to the assumption that I was a racist. After a while I just said that I was from Florida and things were better.

[Harry Monroe]

44. Um, I hate to be the one to throw cold water on an otherwise heartwarming and transformational ...

...tale of redemption but this quote leads me to suspect that this story may be a "little fabricated".

"The year I was in seventh grade a transformative event happened. We were to pick the name of a great American out of a hat to do a report on. I had the good/bad luck to pick Martin Luther King.'

I highly doubt that in a town as bigoted as the one you describe that MLK's name would have ended up in a hat of "great Americans" to choose from. And yes, I also grew up in the South. I currently live in NE Mississippi where racism is still alive, albeit a bit more "closeted" now.

OK, flame away.

[angrycarpenter]

46. No flames here.

Poke holes all you like. I really don't care.

[Harry Monroe]

47. Very magnanimous of you

But I'm still curious as to how the name of Martin Luther King ended up in the hat of great Americans to choose from in a town as bigoted as you describe. To me, it just seems hard to believe, especially with the bigotry I've also witnessed growing up as a child of the South. Maybe I'm just a "doubting Thomas" (which also happens to be middle name BTW)

[angrycarpenter]

50. Am I on some kind of list or something

Every time I have posted an episode of my sometimes tragic life someone comes along, scans my post for holes and then calls me a liar. The name was just there, that all there is to it. I have no insight on my teacher's lesson planning. The hat was felt bowler, the paper was white, the name Martin Luther King was written on it. If you want a flame war take it elsewhere as I will not respond to any further provocations from you.

[Harry Monroe]

82. Not looking for a flame war, I never do that and was not trying to provoke you

I apologize. In every bigoted town, I guess there are always a few progressive souls who see the light.

[renate]

109. in my (admittedly limited) experience teachers are often very progressive

I'd love to know what the rest of that teacher's career was like. I'm sure she/he would be thrilled to know, all these years later, about the effect that MLK's inclusion had on you.

[Flying Dream Blues]

51. Why do you care, anyway? Just curious why this story would put

a bug up your behind. Maybe that particular teacher wasn't a racist...nothing is ever 100%, even in Alabama.

I think the story is great, and in my experience angrycarpenter always has wise things to say. On the other hand, you seem to me like a person who likes to stir things up for no good reason.

[beac]

63. I hadn't read your post when I replied to the OP downthread, but I choose to

believe his teacher displayed a little bravery in putting that name in.

OR it could be, if the OP is near my age, that when he was in 7th grade the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK were still a pretty raw wound on the national psyche and sadly, MLK received more respect (however grudging) dead than he had alive. In my experience, Southerners have a lot of admiration for dying for a cause. (FYI, I grew up in Virginia and the n-bomb was dropped as casually as you please, but we were taught MLK was a hero.)

Even the most cynical interpretation that I can think of-- that MLK was in the hat as a kind of "See? We're not racists!" afterthought-- doesn't make me doubt the OP's story.

[angrycarpenter]

70. George Wallace was also in that hat. nt

[beac]

88. So, option #3 then.... how sad.

Still, I'll give her a LITTLE credit for giving you the excellent grade you clearly deserved.

[Phillycat]

53. Agree. This doesn't pass the smell test.

[JerseygirlCT]

67. Is every single person there a bigot? Sounds to me as if his

teacher was not. That does happen, I think.

[Flying Dream Blues]

52. This is a great post, especially for today.

Don't let the haters get you down...your posts are always wise and insightful, and I always head right for them because I know it will be worthwhile.
:hi:

[ejbr]

55. Thanks for sharing n/t

[defendandprotect]

56. There is no oppression put in place which isn't about exploitation ...

for profit -- and it can't be done without the teaching of hatred/intolerance

for a class of people.

Had our Founders not compromised with slavery there would not have been a Civil War

nor this legacy of hatred.

Nor 100 years of Segregation.

[navarth]

89. there ya go

At the very bottom it's about The Money, Lebowski.

[defendandprotect]

100. Money = Power --

and these people are usually interested in power over others --- domination.

[Karenina]

57. Now, thar's a heap load of honesty and truth

served straight up without the slightest whiff of denial! Angrycarpenter, :yourock:

What a lovely tribute to this MLK Day. Danke sehr!

Everyone born in America swims in a sea of racism which supports the sexism and classism oppressing us all. Your mom had clear eyes and made you aware of the water. Many kudos to her.

[IsItJustMe]

58. Thanks for sharing. I too have traveled a similar path as yours. Only mine came out of the South

side of Chicago. Racism (ignorance) is indeed everywhere. It took me years of dealing with it, and I am glad I did. Am I 100% a non-racist now? Probably not. But I know it when I see it within my thoughts and emotions. And it is up to me on whether I give it any credence or not. That my friend, makes all of the difference in the world.

I grew as a human being because of this and have developed compassion and empathy for all of my fellow brothers and sisters.

Sometimes, if viewed properly, even the bad things about our lives can be seen as a blessing.

On edit:

I believe the turning point for me was when I was about 12. Three other white boys were about to kick the living shit out of me. My parents were poor so I went to the public school. About 95% of the school was black. The majority of the white kids went to the catholic school.

Anyway, as I said three white boys were gonna whip up on me in a ally. I didn't even know these boys, but where I lived, it was kind of like that.

As I was facing off with them, a black boy, who was in my class at school, and who was also built like a brick shit house, came walking down the ally. He saw what was going on, sized it up, and looked at me in the most serious of tones, and said:

"Yo Jimmy, is there a problem here."

The white boys faded into oblivion. I will never ever forget that.

[NBachers]

78. Ya, I don't know about that, there's gotta be some hole in your story

Admit it, admit it, you just made it all up on the spot, dint you? I Just Can't Believe It!

not

[PresidentObama]

59. I went through some of the same thing as a child.

My dad used to say a lot of very racist people, and implanted it into my brain that they were bad people. But growing up in Missouri, a lot of the White people feel the same way. You almost felt you needed racism to fit into certain crowds. I eventually found a really nice black friend who showed me that they're no different from me, and that they--like--just wanted to live life in happiness and purpose.

The funny thing is I did the same thing with homosexuality. I used to be very homophobic. I've been out for four years now, and I don't regret it.

[beac]

61. A beautiful story. I think there is one other hero in it-- your teacher.

It must have taken some guts to put MLK's name in that hat and I'll bet she was relieved as well as thrilled to have you draw his name. Good for her and you!

[angrycarpenter]

65. I don't remember much about her

Other than that she was about 5' tall and that she would drag you up in front of the class and paddle the hell out of anyone who acted up. It was hard to get through a day without getting an ass busting from the teachers or an ass beating from the students.

[ProudDad]

62. Ask the next question.

The next question is who is doing this and what benefit do they accrue from racism and the Class Struggle?

I spent some time in the deep South during Jim Crow. High School and College years.

The bigotry was pervasive. I admire you for overcoming that kind of brainwashing.

The irony is that I had just come from Hawai'i where I was a minority in the public schools to High School in VA the day they "integrated". I felt like Margaret Meade visiting a primitive race and trying to understand them...

When I view racism now I see it as another battleground in the ongoing Class Struggle. Those who own and manage the system for their own benefit pit those whom they exploit against one another. Racism is just another tool in their arsenal.

The cure is the end of an economic system that promotes inequality above all other values since without gross inequality there can be NO gross profit.

Think about it...

[Karenina]

80. Indeed!

Born a Connecticut Yankee, I grew up just south of the Mason Dixon Line in one of the villes of 'Naptown. :patriot: Ours was the home of the state psychiatric hospital at which my dad was a neuropsychiatrist. The staff housing reflected our extended family make up, we have jesabout everbody fom everwhere... My 85 yr old aunt teased my son that he needed to bring a special someone home from...









Wait for it...





















Estonia!

"We don't have one of them yet. They're quite a beautiful people!"
I nearly fainted from laughing, being totally enamored of Kristjan Jarvi, conductor of "ABSOLUTE ENSEMBLE" and several other musicians from that neighborhood. WHO KNEW AUNTIE KNEW??? :rofl:

In spite of my immersion in a multi-racial/cultural family and community, my position on the totem pole was revealed to me at quite an early age. The percentage of whatever blood I have was of no interest to anyone, I'd inherited browner skin and "bad hair." Mom's slogan was, "It's what's IN YOUR HEAD, not what's on it." What was IN my head was a source of constant irritation to the society I confronted (except the more enlightened parents of friends who would have me crouch down in the back seat of their cars with a blanket thrown over me to get past the guard of their gated communities for a playdate) and what was ON my head determined my status (particularly in the black community}.

However, in our family the question was not IF you would go to college, but WHERE. I chose the road less travelled and am delighted, 50 years later, to live in a city that reflects the diversity of my childhood. I feel truly privileged by my accident of birth.

As such, Angrycarpenter's account of the row he continues to hoe, speaks to my heart. Despite his surroundings, his heart was open to that of his mom's and SHE GOT IT.

[navarth]

90. yep yep

[Politicalboi]

64. North, South, East, West

If you live in a town mostly of your own kind that is where the racism lies. I lived in Simi Valley Ca in the 60's and I could count the black children at school on one hand and not even use all my fingers on that hand. If you are unfamiliar with a certain race and you see on your TV in white land all the riots in black land you get scared. We were probably fed the same shit in the news back then about the "survivors" and the "looters". TV influenced racism and TV showed the horror of racism. Racism is not just a black and white issue and any group that lives among their own find others who are different less desirable in some sort of way.

[Klukie]

68. And this my friends is how we heal our nation......

with truth....hard, raw truth. Unity will never happen without it. Thanks.

[lenegal]

69. What an inspiring story!

I grew up in the Northeast with parents who were open minded. I have read your posts. Very inspiring.

[maryf]

71. Thank you angry carpenter...

you brought tears to my eyes...really...and what you say about remission is one of the bravest most honest things I've read here, Kudos, highly recommended...

[bobbolink]

72. beatings, hosings, hangings--the legacy of so much of the U.S. :(

Your story is so uplifting..... :hug: for you and your mother!

Race is such a hot-button... even though we share almost all DNA!

Even MORE of a hot-button is poverty.... many of us believe that is why Martin Luther King was killed, along with Bobby and Malcolm X.

Thanks for your story! :yourock:

[trickyguy]

74. K&R. Congratulations on staying in remission. Great post.

:thumbsup:

[dajoki]

75. Wonderful story...

with all the hatred around you it would have been easy to give in and follow the crowd. But YOU chose not to, and with your mother's help, you learned that the crowd was WRONG and you rose above it!! Thanks for sharing!!

[roguevalley]

76. beautiful. I don't miss hearing the n-word commonly used.

[condoleeza]

83. Such a great story

I was poor white trash, raised by parents who would have never admitted they were racist. Their religion taught them that blacks were a cursed race, some bible story about someone being punished by God for some sin, so he was turned black. Not sure if that story is even in the bible, but it was all they needed. In my HS you could count the number of black students on your fingers. One teacher gave an assignment that paired me with a black girl in my class. I was 15 and had possibly never actually "talked" to a black person before, we are still friends.

In the 70's when schools were being integrated here, our grade school immediately began a mentorship program. We met them in their own neighborhoods. We matched them up with students who lived in the neighborhood of the school and the kids had sleepovers, etc. We exchanged recipes, we had dinners, we got to know the families, not just the kids. Our school was one of the first to start this program, which over the next 2 years grew to include nearly every grade school in my city. To this day both of my daughters are still friends with the girls they were matched with and even though none of them live in the same city anymore, they are all connected via Facebook, which includes me as well. All 4 of them have college degrees. I will be honest to say that there was initially some fear that us white parents had in going into "their" neighborhoods, but that fear was completely unfounded. We all learned so much from each other.

To this day I still love this recipe:

WEST AFRICAN CHICKEN PEANUT SOUP

2 cups diced, cooked chicken
l 1/3 cups diced onion
1 Tbsp. minced garlic
1/4 cup dark sesame oil
1 Tbsp. curry powder
1 Tsp. pepper
1 Tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
6 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup. tomato paste
2 cups chopped, stewed tomatoes
6 Tbsp. chunky peanut butter
Salt - to taste- if needed

Saute chicken, onion and garlic in the sesame oil for 10 minutes. Add seasonings and saute 1 minute. Add rest of ingredients, stirring until blended and heating until very hot. DO NOT ALLOW TO COME TO A BOIL.

Ready to serve immediately when hot. Freezes great. Wonderful with bread for dipping.

[grantcart]

84. Just think how happy it would make MLK to read your post.

Tomorrow millions of AA children will read your post the momemnt BHO raises his hand to take the oath.



We may have gotten a lot of things wrong but we got this thing right. We stopped the poison so that our kids don't have it.



What a wonderful tribute to your mother as well.

[EFerrari]

92. Thank you, angrycarpenter.

[MrMickeysMom]

94. We're all practicing racists...

and I appreciate how by you telling your own story you draw this larger point out. I think you and Mike Malloy are saying the same thing when he says, "every day I deal with my own racism".

I laugh when I say this, but hey, maybe if we keep our eye on the day we are visited by extra-terrestrials, that will surely put things back in perspective- naaagghh!

[ismnotwasm]

95. My Dad told me about a sign like that

I think in South Carolina--I don't remember, maybe he did said Alabama.

My father is a still a bigot, but has tried to change as far as he's able. He now separates "finger poppers" or N******" from "blacks". (Sigh)

When I was a little girl in the '60's, my Dad was a "Garbage Man" that's what they call it back then. It was a job mostly blacks had, and here he was this big redheaded Swede. He told me when I was two, he introduced me to one of his co-workers and that I was afraid and hid behind his leg.

My Dad thought it was because it was a black man, didn't even consider it may have been because it was a stranger. I don't remember that either.

Interesting how our perceptions are formed, and Wonderful how we can change them, especially at the cost of personal pain and soul searching. Good for you!

Racism is a disease, an insidious one. There is a line from an old song in the '60's or early 70's, I don't remember the name or the song or who did it, but it went "evil grows in cracks and holes and lives in peoples minds" That's racism.

[myrna minx]

96. K&R n/t

[Redstone]

97. Thank you for posting that. Thank you very much. As a guy who is half

American Indian, and is married to a woman who is half African, I truly appreciate it.

Redstone

[mt13]

99. when i was 4...

in 1960, i lived in a flushing, queens, ny. it was a mostly-white italian & jewish suburb. a black family moved in around the corner. our backyards shared a fence. felicia and i met at that fence and became fast friends. i would go to her house and play, she would come to mine and play. one day as i approached my front porch, my neighbor called out to me. she said "don't play with that girl, she's different than you." i went into my house in tears. my mother sat down with me and told me not to listen, she said that i should play with her if i wanted to. i continued to play with felicia. my neighbor's kids and their cousins ostracized me. i didn't care, i loved felicia. and i loved my mom for giving me that stellar advice that i carry with me to this day and have passed on to my sons. the neighborhood kids eventually came around and realized that felicia was ok. i am sorry that i lost contact with her after we moved away when i was 5 and i was too young to take names and addresses with me. i think of felicia often and smile!

i get really angry with some people that say this inauguration is not an historic event, too much is being made of race. i tell these youngsters that they need to take a history class devoted to the civil rights movement and then tell me that.

peace...

[Kajsa]

101. Thank you for sharing

your story with us, angrycarpenter!

I grew up in the same era, but in a different
place, the West Coast.

We weren't immune from racism either
but it was much more subtle.

:(

Thanks, again.

:)

[Evoman]

102. I'm also in remission, but my racism/prejudice was towards white people.

For most of my formative years (and even towards my teenage years) I was distrustful of white people. Even though almost all my friends were white, I never trusted them fully until I got over my stupidity. I'm engaged to a white girl so I BETTER be done with that stupid shit :rofl:.

[DissedByBush]

103. I cannot understand being a bigot

I was raised in a bigot-free environment and I am sure there would have been dire consequences from my grandmother had I exhibited any bigotry. No consequences such as a beating, but consequences such as making me feel like dirt and making me have to ask myself honestly whether what I did was right. I experienced that in other areas such as stealing and hurting insects. She cured me quickly at a young age.

Kudos for overcoming bigotry. It must have been difficult to do it on your own without someone such as my grandmother to guide you.

[Cha]

104. I knew I would get Verklempt when

I read the caption. Nothing gets me like redemption.. You poor thing having to go through that but it all makes us who we are today and you sound really strong.

Thank you for your story on this MLK holiday 2009.

[psychmommy]

105. thank God for the real Christians.

your mom was one. we all have to fight the urges. i have to remember that i have a future leader in my home and to teach her to be open and loving. a mother;s love can overcome alot. look at those moms in ireland stopping the fighting. very nice op and thanks for the honesty it means so much.

[angrycarpenter]

106. Thank you my friends

I never expected this kind of reaction. I am humbled by your affection for this little piece of my life.

A troll called me drama queen and it got me thinking. Maybe there is some truth to that. I am a man of high passions and deep despair. I tend to think that the world is going to end on a daily basis. I am going to avoid personal stories in the future. They are painful to reveal and depressing to remember.

Thank you all for the great replies to my post and a great web forum.

[Catherine Vincent]

107. Thank you!

Error: you can only recommend threads which were started in the past 24 hours

:kick:

[mentalslavery]

108. my dad is a reformed bigot.

Thank god he got out of where he grew up and changed his life or I would probably have been voting for McCain, or signed up and deployed to Iraq.

Your post reveals a very specific insight about the social structure that slavery established. Basically, any minority population provides control over poor whites, at the benefit of rich whites. This is because the low wage labor controls the economic prospects of others who are relatively close in social class. Therefore, if southern whites push for higher wages, employers just fire them and hire blacks. The same is true for the migrate labor that comes up from South America.

I live in Mississippi now and will occasionally give people a lesson on how "divide and conquer" as well as how "surplus labor" works. You should see the look on their face when they finally get it. I always end with the punch line, "who do you hate now, better get to hating, because that is all you have"