***DUzy Awards for week ending March 23, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Mar-23-07 05:14 PM
Original message

Welcome to this week's DUzy Awards, honoring improvised impishness, insightful invective and indelible imprecation from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The shaken-not-stirred DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks this week to eppur_se_muova, babylonsister, stellanoir, Kurovski, TahitiNut, Buzz Clik, wryter2000, fooj, krispos42, northofdenali, MsKandice01, kcass1954 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

This one should have appeared last week.
On a thread by jpak:

      How better batteries will bring us amazing gadgets
"In labs around the world, research teams are racing to build better batteries that are safer, smaller, lighter and longer-lasting than our current power-packs..."

response #2 by phantom power:

      I also look forward to finally owning my own M-25A1 Phased Plasma Rifle

response #3 by Geoff R. Casavant:

      In the 40-Watt Range? n/t

response #4 by Dead_Parrot:

      Or there's the Phased Compact Fluorescent Rifle
Same killing power, but only 8W.

response #6 by phantom power:

      Yeah, but they flicker when you pull the trigger.
And the beam makes your skin look pasty and unhealthy.

response #8 by Dead_Parrot:

      The newer ones have nice, warm, melted-flesh tones...
...although they still don't work very well in the fridge.

Environment/Energy, March 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=115x87649

OP Title by mloutre:

SNAKES ON A PLAME

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x435797

Poll question by Truth Hurts A Lot:

      The government now wants to assess *college learning* through standardized tests!

response #3 by Buzz Clik:

      Can you imagine the questions on the test if THIS admin drafted it?
TRUE or FALSE

1. Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

2. Arsenic is naturally-occurring. Therefore, it is good for you and adds zest to drinking water.

3. Global warming is a hoax.

4. Democracy is the form of government that all Middle Eastern countries desire.

5. Ignorance excuses everything.

response #6 by MADem:

      Multiple Choice: Who are the three greatest Presidents in history?
1. Reagan, Bush 41 and Bush 43.

2. Bush 41, Bush 43, and Reagan.

3. Bush 43, Bush 41, And Reagan.

4. All of the Above

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x434378

OP by Junkdrawer:

      "Yeah, we lied, but the only ones who care are Democrats, so it's all political."
Works every time.

Excuse me, but I just saw a huge white rabbit with a watch, so I gotta go...

response #9 by gratuitous:

      The stages of a Republican scandal
1. Denial
2. Belittlement of the charges
3. Grudging acknowledgement (a very short stage, blink and you'll miss it)
4. Well of course it was wrong, nobody disputes that (even shorter stage)
5. This is old news, let's talk about what Clinton did

response #11 by Junkdrawer:

      And then there's "6. So what are you going to do about it? Yeah, I thought so."
When all else fails....

GD, March 16, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x430052

On a thread by Robbien:

Where are they now: Bush's former war cabinet

response #4 by shain from kane:

Wolfowitz selling his saliva as Brylcreem never took off, even with
that free commercial in Fahrenheit 9/11.

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x435344

Poll question by karlrschneider:

      Okay, a simple YES/NO poll re: the Pink person at the Plame Hearing

response #36 by mntleo2:

      I Could give A Rat's Ass
...if the Code Pink lady was there or not. Maybe there was a cockroach in the room while Plame was testifying, should this have ANY reflection on what she had to say? Who gives a crap who was in the room? What does that have to do with anything?

This is simply another "Quick, look, over there!!!!" reason to discredit what Plame had to say ~ and a very desperate one to boot. Anybody who even wants to debate this on the Left is (again) allowing the Right to make them run like a bunch of ninnies "over there" and allow what is REALLY happening to be ignored.

DON'T LET THEM DO IT, SHUT THE HELL UP, IGNORE IT, OR LAUGH AT IT, IT SHOULD BE A DEAD ISSUE!!!!!!

response #38 by karlrschneider:

      Have a little respect. The cockroach's name is Toensing.
...

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x437489

OP by Jackpine Radical:

      Here's your next assignment. Get creative & crazy:
Develop "talking points" for a skit in which the right-wing Keelboat Veterans for Truth try to destroy Washington's military reputation and his chances for the Presidency.

Example: "Washington never threw a dollar across the Delaware. It was only a shilling."

response #1 by Kurovski:

      He's a crazy tree-hugger.
Getting all guilty about chopping down one lousy tree. Wussy.

response #4 by tridim:

      He grew hemp..
Do you really believe he didn't smoke it too?

Druggie.

response #6 by ret5hd:

      Don't you think that a man with wooden teeth...
speaks with a splintered tongue???

(i know i know)

response #8 by MagickMuffin:

      He didn't cherry pick intelligence to his advantage!
(so i'm new at this) :rofl:

response #11 by OPERATIONMINDCRIME:

      In My Best Coulter Voice: Washington Was So Gay. Did You See That Wig He Wears?

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x438191

On a thread by The Count:

WTF IS THE MATTER WITH MARIO CUOMO???????

response #2 by Mojambo:

He never recovered from Nintendo's worldwide hatchet job on his first name. n/t

GD, March 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x438233

On a thread by Clarkie1:

Berkeley...getting naked to save tree grove.
"Seventy-eight performance artists, models, protesters and their supporters stripped down for the camera in a grove of oak trees at UC Berkeley that could fall to make room for an athletic training center..."

response #1 by Bucky:

Florida keeps trying to be the "crazy state" and California keeps blowing them away
Of course you don't want to see an all nude protest in Ft Walton Beach. It would not be pretty.

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x439136

On a thread by kpete:

FOX: Hume: Valerie Plame LIED Under Oath

response #5 by TahitiNut:

DU: TahitiNut: Brit Hume CAN'T HANDLE the Truth!
He wouldn't acknowledge the truth if it gave him a lap dance. :puke:

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x440484

On a thread by Judi Lynn:

      DeLay absolves himself in his book

response #2 by sutz12:

      Republican version of a "mea culpa"
"He did it!"

:shrug:

response #9 by ClintonTyree:

      Wouldn't that be....
"hea culpa". ;)

response #7 by argyl:

      Tom DeLay, one of the original victims of affirmative action. Minorities
cheated him out of the combat tour of duty in Viet Nam he so desperately desired. Totally shameless POS scum.

LBN, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2771266

On a thread by liberal N proud:

Now they are trying to say the Iraq war is a bargain...
"... even though the war has turned out to be much more expensive than Bush administration officials predicted on the eve of the March 2003 invasion, it is relatively affordable..."

response #4 by TerdlowSmedley:

The more you invade, the more you save!!!!

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x439634

OP by CatWoman:

      Why does he look so awkardly STUPID in 90% of the photos taken of him?
Here he looks like he's trying to perform the Robot.

response #1 by Old Crusoe:

      It's just that the other 10% have been photoshopped to make him look
sentient.

response #2 by ocelot:

      Because he's an awkwardly stupid guy
who couldn't piss a hole straight in the snow.

response #55 by rocknation:

      And here's George in a hard-working ensemble
whose neutral tones and classic lines transistion perfectly from being photo-opped with disaster victims to commanding respect at impromptu press conferences. Thank you, George!

response #44 by Rex:

      It's because he is a legendary failure. That look is from partying and
not giving a flying crap until the very last second he appears in public. Unprepared and unfocused on anything to do with running the country. Party party party. His Presidential GPA would be a 0.8. Don't ask me how he got the 0.8.

response #47 by WinkyDink:

      Graded on a curve.

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x441391

On a thread by NanceGreggs:

You Can't Argue With Stupid

response #25 by The Wizard:

More stupid thought
When Tom Foley was voted out of office several people in his district thought they were voting in a new Speaker of the House, because the Speaker came from that district. And these idiots operate two ton vehicles at high speeds on our roads. Hide the women and children; many of them carry loaded weapons too.

GDP, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3169449

On a thread by DeepModem Mom:

      Leading Southern Baptist suggests hormone patch for expectant mothers to prevent gayness

response #9 by Vidar:

      Bearded fetuses labelled a sign of godliness.

response #10 by soothsayer:

      even if they're girls?

response #12 by Vidar:

      Then it is termed the Coulter miracle.

response #15 by Kurovski:

      Imagine the ads: "be assured your baby boy has an eye for the girls...
get our 'Snatch Patch' brand hormone adjuster TODAY!"

They are out of their Jesus-stomping minds.

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x439269

On a thread by Joanne98:

      300.... Is the most insulting movie I have ever seen.

response #34 by TahitiNut:

      I notice in the clips shown on TV ...
... that the "Spartans" have erect nipples. It's either cold or they're "getting off" on killing. It seems obvious that to me such a movie appeals to prurient interests.

response #36 by The Straight Story:

      I got erect nipples reading your post
I don't even want to know what that means :)

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x442358

OP by RagingInMiami:

      I think it's great that people protest the war, but I wish some would shave their beards
I mean, what kind of message do you want to send to Middle America if they see a bunch of Grizzly Adams lookalikes marching against the war? This is probably the reason we're still at war. After all, people might associate the beards with Osama bin Laden or Fidel Castro or the current Ayatollah...

EDIT: :sarcasm:

response #2 by valerief:

      You know, I thought we were still at war because of the beards. Thanks for
confirming my suspicions. However, my friend says we're at war because of moustaches and moustaches alone. Another friend says the Civil War was fought over goatees. What do you think? Goatees or maybe mutton chops?

response #14 by magellan:

      No no. WWII was about moustaches.
This one is definitely about beards. The Civil War was fought over sideburns AND beards.

response #16 by valerief:

      Which war was fought over those skinny little John Waters' moustaches?

response #29 by magellan:

      Vietnam, since Waters started sporting it around then
However, we all know Vietnam was actually an extension of the Cold War, which started after WWII. So that makes Clark Gable culpable.

:)

response #37 by valerief:

      Or Don Ameche! nt

response #37 by magellan:

      When I was younger and knew nothing about classic films
...I thought Don Ameche was a woman!! (Donna Meechi.)

Plenty of other great responses in the thread.

GD, March 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x444388

OP by underpants:

But hey you've gotta admit Bush has things running like a top
spin spin spin spin spin spin spin fall flat on your face

(controlling hand picks it up and...)

spin spin spin spin spin spin spin fall flat on your face

repeat

response #1 by Xipe Totec:

Running like a well oiled machine,

That's clearly marked:

DO NOT OIL!

GDP, March 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3169853

On a thread by CatWoman:

      Christopher Bond calls Valerie Plame Wilson a liar

response #1 by ocelot:

      Ocelot calls Christopher Bond a dipshit.

response #2 by MrsGrumpy:

      MrsGrumpy agrees emphatically with ocelot.

response #3 by donco6:

      donco6 agrees with MrsGrumpy. n/t

response #8 by Bunny:

      Bunny agrees with donco6, who agrees with MrsGrumpy, who agrees with Ocelot.

response #27 by NewJeffCT:

      because it was a conspiracy by Gore donors
To disgrace the president. Can't you see?

I mean, Valerie planned to send her husband to the posh paradise of Niger so he could find nothing. And she also knew that he would come back with a report saying he found nothing, and then when that happened, she knew that Bush would still put that information into those 16 words in his State of the Union address, and then she knew that when Bush invaded Iraq he would find no WMD. So, then she knew her husband Joe could write an op-ed piece in the NY Times 6 months later where he criticized the insertion of those 16 words...

response #36 by Canuckistanian:

      A brilliant explanation
One problem, though.

Where does George Soros fit in?

response #38 by NewJeffCT:

      Obviously
Soros owned the Club-Med Niger that Wilson stayed at when he went there. Wilson borrowed Barbra Streisand's suite and hung out with Michael Moore while there as well.

response #42 by Canuckistanian:

      But of course
How could I have missed that?

You MUST come visit us at the villa in Barcelona this year.

You're obviously our kind of people.

Other great responses in the thread.

GD, March 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x447750

On a thread by BushOut06:

Are Mooslim tayorists driving your children's schoolbuses?
WTF is this shit I'm hearing about "suspicious" Muslim and Arab school bus drivers "possibly" being involved in terrorist plots?...

response #1 by rurallib:

Not sure about that, But they have been making school lunches
for decades. And there are no pork products in school lunches. It's all 'mystery meat'.

GD, March 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x451916

On a thread by Herman Munster:

LA Times: Obama the 'Magic Negro'

response #28 by Bucky:

That sounds awesome. I want a Magic Negro! Where can I get one?
A magic Negro would make my life perfect. He'd help me meet girls, improve my golf game, and shower me with all sorts of life-affirming wisdom like "Follow you gut, man" and "Go for it!" I would love him and hug him and call him Clarence and let him eat with me right at the same table if the restaurant's not too well lit. That would totally rawck!

So where can I get one?

No sarcasm smilie used, but it should be pretty obvious...

GD, March 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x450599

OP by npincus:

      NOT PhotoShopped: this FUX "news" caption is a winner
Perhaps you've seen this, but I just did for the first time and it blew my mind: "All out Civil War in Iraq: Could it be a good thing?" What the HELL is wrong with these people? Well, it's an admission, of sorts. But my, this glass of hemlock is really half-full!

response #10 by aint_no_life_nowhere:

      Future Fux News caption: "Armageddon: Could it be a good thing?"
There might very well be some Fux viewers looking on the bright side of total nuclear annihilation, dreaming their dreams about the rapture.

I cannot believe that a civil war could have a bright side. These people live in an alternate reality.

response #11 by npincus:

      how about "Beheading and Power Drills: Cure for Migraines?"

GD, March 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x454519

OP by BOSSHOG:

"Hanged without incident??"
Heard this phrase on the news referring to someone in Iraq being hanged. Without incident?? Would it not be an incident to the hangee?

In other news, bush calls the attorney general and says everything will be okay. Speaking of hanging without incident.

GD, March 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x454419

On a thread by samplegirl:

      Unless you've got a real big yatch your tides not coming in...

response #1 by Buzz Clik:

      The thneeds stole my yatch.
Luckily, I still have my wumbus and yuzz-ma-Tuzz.

response #2 by cwydro:

      Hey!
My yatch is not that big. I mean when I wear this one pair of pants, OK, it looks bigger, but really it is a pretty small yatch.

response #10 by Javaman:

      I yon't know yhat time it is, yet me yeck my yatch. nt

response #11 by notsodumbhillbilly:

      I am no man, I have no yatch;
I am a woman, I have a thatch.
If offered one, I would decline;
'cause what I have is mine, all mine.

response #13 by utopiansecretagent:

      "I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you...
Now, yatch this drive."

Don't mind them, samplegirl. It was a good post.

GD, March 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x454792

On a thread by TechBear_Seattle:

      McDonald's to launch campaign against 'McJob' entry in (OED) dictionary
"Fast food giant McDonald's is set to begin a campaign to redefine "McJob" entries in British dictionaries, which it believes are both incorrect and insulting to its workers, the Financial Times reported on Tuesday..."

response #2 by tanyev:

      McDonald's needs to McGet over its McFecking McSelf.

response #3 by truebrit71:

      McLOL!!!
Mc :rofl:

GD, March 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x453870

On a thread by BuyingThyme:

      Cheney's office lied about having an examination scheduled.
Now they're saying he experienced some discomfort thus sought attention.

If he's dead of a heart attack, we should find out within the next few weeks.

response #3 by AndyA:

      I'm sure they must be very worried about Cheney.
He has a history of heart ailments, and the stress of his office is a real concern. Now that his dirty deeds are being aired, the stress levels for Cheney and Bush have got to be going through the roof right now.

I'm sure they aren't going to be taking any chances with Cheney at this point in time. If he breaks a fingernail, it's to the Doctor for surgical cleanup, antibiotic treatment, and 24/7 medical care until the nail is repaired.

It only costs the American taxpayer $45,000 per hour, so no biggie... :shrug:

response #6 by MADem:

      Oh, geeeeeez, he must be up to his ass in the Gonzalez mess, tooooooo!!!!!
Every time the shit hits the fan, that bastard clutches the pearls.

If it isn't a clot in his leg, it's discomfort. Anything to get the hell off the stage and into a room off the wings, so the heat isn't directed at him.

response #19 by CrazyOrangeCat:

      Well now, you can't expect them . . .
. . . to go more than a few hours without lying, do you?

He could take a shotgun to his whole staff, and the first report would be, "Routine check-up for Cheeeeeney's staff."

These fuckers are unbelievable liars!

response #25 by BuyingThyme:

      So, Cheney shot the staff?
This is a huge story.

response #28 by CrazyOrangeCat:

      "Dick o' Death slays entire staff!"
"Dying secretary apologizes."

"Details at ten . . ."

response #34 by Atman:

      They'll prop up his body like "Weekend at Cheney's"
Or like we used to see the Chinese do when their leaders were at death's door.

response #35 by tonkatoy57:

      Tune in to the networks...
...if they have preempted the soaps and you hear the Adagio from Mahler's 10th you'll know for sure.

GD, March 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x455833

On a thread by sabra:

Tony Snow's 1998 "executive privilege" column read back to him today at WH press gaggle

response #13 by radfringe:

THEN and NOW
THEN: Tony Snow (March 29, 1998: "Executive Privilege is a Dodge"

NOW: Tony Snow (March, 2007): "Executive Dodging is a Privilege"

GD, March 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x463458

On a thread by babylonsister:

Gore: ‘If The Crib’s On Fire, You Don’t Speculate That The Baby Is Flame-Retardant’

response #10 by Bornaginhooligan:

Breaking Fox News: Gore to Set Fire to Retarded Babies.
Why does Gore hate babies? John Gibson reports...

and, per BlooInBloo's suggestion in response #30, an honorary DUzy to President Al Gore

GD, March 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x464467

On a thread by krispos42:

      Wisconsin man gets probation for having sex with dead deer
"SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old Superior man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer..."

response #3 by TX-RAT:

      Takes mounting your trophy to a whole new level.

response #7 by NoMoreMyths:

      What the hell makes him so damn special?
"A 20-year-old Superior man"

He's not even old enough to legally drink.

response #11 by northzax:

      um, he has sex with dead animals?
I mean that's pretty special, ain't it?

Wisconsin (moved from LBN), March 21,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=186x19718

OP by Horse with no Name:

      Oh God. Tom Delay has found "Christ"
:eyes:

response #2 by zanne:

      I didn't know he had misplaced him.
Didn't he do that years ago?

response #11 by IanDB1:

      No, but this time he really, REALLY means it.
Before, he was born-again into the WRONG kind of born-again fundie christianity.

This time, he's REALLY found Jesus.

He's found the kind of Jesus that gets you out of jail.

You know... the Jesus that sits on your shoulder and tells people to trust you.

response #16 by rurallib:

      Actually, Christ heard DeLay was going to jail. Knowing that DeLay
would be looking for him as most RW crooks do when they are caught, Jesus had gone into hiding. Story was that Jesus had crawled back into his tomb when that damned Hollywood director found him.

response #21 by ComerPerro:

      how many times can one be "born again" anyway?

response #23 by IanDB1:

      Until Jesus runs out of placentas? n/t

And an honorable mention to all the other responses in the thread.

GD, March 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x467311

On a thread by Laura PackYourBags:

OMG Is this our Watergate??

response #13 by BerryBush:

Welcome to "Watergate II: Electric Boogaloo."
This summer will feel a lot like 1974.

GD, March 21,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x469356

On a thread by Fountain79:

      Chinese restaurant food unhealthy, study says

response #3 by Kutjara:

      Oh, it fucking would be, wouldn't it?
Anything even slightly tasty in this world is inevitably death on a plate, whereas the healthy stuff all tastes like boiled laundry and twigs.

Well, it's about time for my usual breakfast of steamed plankton, algae fritters and braised air. Gooooood eatin'!

response #18 by youthere:

      Steaming the plankton destroys all the vitamins...
sorry, you'll have to eat your plankton raw from now on.

response #32 by MilesColtrane:

      I heard that there are mercury concerns with plankton and algae.
You'd better replace them with 1/2 a rice cake and a plate of mashed yeast.

response #34 by ocelot:

      The fundamental rule of dieting: If it tastes good, spit it out.
Now stop whining and eat your rocks and lichens.

The Lounge, March 21,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6329144

On a thread by Virginia Dare:

      George Allen will become "Reagan Scholar"...
"HERNDON, Va., March 21 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Young America's Foundation announces that recent Governor and U.S. Senator George Allen has joined the Foundation's team as its Reagan Ranch Presidential Scholar and accepted a position on the Reagan Ranch Board of Governors..."

response #11 by WinkyDink:

      How "not to recall" in criminal trials. How to visit SS cemeteries.
How to fabricate anecdotes of liberating concentration camps while never leaving California.
How to plan your day according to astrology.
How to keep American citizens hostages in order to win elections.
How to call ketchup a "vegetable" to reduce the nutritional value of school lunches.
How to get cronies to buy you a mansion.
How to throw mental patients onto the streets by calling it freedom.
How to invade a smalll Caribbean nation. Or Central American.

Oh, yes, lots of topics for Mr. Allen.

response #5 by Lastlaughin08:

      How will he fit his fat head into a pointy hood?
Ahhhh, velcro. That's the answer.

response #12 by Virginia Dare:

      You know what's sad?...
one day there will be some idiotic silver-spooned sycophantic Repuke son whose capabilities do not extend beyond rearranging the pencils on his desk who will be given the job of "George W. Bush Scholar".

response #16 by SoCalDem:

      and in the university of mexico, he could be the....
Machaca Macaca Muchacho :)

GD, March 22,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x472364

On a thread by villager:

      France opens secret UFO files covering 50 years

response #1 by progressoid:

      I saw something that looked like one of those green jello molds once
But without the mini-marshmallows. And not in France. And I might have been wasted.

response #11 by Baclava:

      It's a sign...the deception is complete, the invasion has begun
I, for one, welcome our alien overlords

response #12 by FlaGranny:

      What if you are dinner?
Remember the old TV show? - To Serve Man.

response #15 by Baclava:

      I'm torn...resistance fighter or breeding pen slavemaster
tough choice

LBN, March 22,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2776896

OP by dist22dem:

      So, how would Bush have said this?
I was reading the Greatest page and saw Gore's quote:

If The Crib’s On Fire, You Don’t Speculate That The Baby Is Flame-Retardant’

and nearly spewed my coffee thinking how * would have mangled this same sentiment.

So, post how you imagine * would have said this!

Here's mine:

If tha crib's on fiar...you gotta burn, baby, burn.

response #6 by Deep13:

      Is our children burning?

response #7 by lectrobyte:

      You have to keep fire off your crib. If the baby is in the crib, then
putting fire on the baby is not what helpful fireman would do. The fireman fight fire. But sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I did not fire those attorneys. What was that about a baby?

response #9 by radfringe:

      If The Crib's On Fire...
you don't ..umm toss errr...throw it in the bathwater..ummm..throw the baby on it

response #12 by Deep13:

      Lawsuits are keeping firefighters from practicing love with their babies.

GD, March 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x472620

On a thread by sabra:

Michigan congressman says parts of Iraq are as safe as Detroit or Chicago

response #24 by Bozita:

In Detroit and Chicago today, there have been NO mortar shells exploding 40 yds away ...
... from any press conferences.

I just checked.

LBN, March 22,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2776890

On a thread by IanDB1:

Police arrest priest for using marijuana during church services

response #1 by bklyncowgirl:

Now that's what I call a "High Mass" nt

GD, March 23,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x481744

OP Title by Evoman:

I've been shit on by birds at least 13 times in my life.

The Lounge, March 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6337022

On a thread by MADem:

      Is George P. Bush a MORON, or what? Why isn't he a RESERVE JAG???
"FORT WORTH, Texas – George P. Bush, the son of former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and nephew of President Bush, has been selected as one of 15 prospective ensigns for the intelligence unit of the Navy reserves..."

response #1 by Octafish:

      Lawyers aren't supposed to break the law.
INTEL types do it as a matter of routine.

Treason. It's a family tradition.

response #19 by KamaAina:

      At least this way we'll know in advance that the intel has been cooked
rather than having to find out years later. :P

GD, March 23,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x483287

On a thread by Sapphire Blue:

      Are threads going into an unknown dimension after they drop from page 1?
They're not going to page 2... they're disappearing... at least that's what's happening here. :shrug:

response #1 by LSK:

      they are reappearing on free republic
:rofl:

response #2 by sfexpat2000:

      Oops! Who let the threads out? n/t

response #6 by dweller:

      they're recycled ...
don't you recycle?

RECYCLE BIN

response #8 by The Straight Story:

      They find Jesus and get Raptured! (nt)

response #9 by helderheid:

      They've been redirected in the series of tubes.

GD, March 23,2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x486378

OP by Webster Green:

A "show trial" actually sounds like a pretty good idea to me..
I'll be tuning in to watch that for sure!

response #5 by Jacobin:

We could even have it on an aircraft carrier.
So as not to politicize it or make it too dramatic or anything.

GDP, March 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3177581