They kicked the door in & took all the bibles & guns!

[Philosoraptor]

It's finally happened! Roving bands of Muslim liberals, kicking in doors in my neighborhood, confiscating all the guns and bibles! I KNEW this would happen! I predicted it! They've burned down all the churches and are now erecting statues of Muhammad everywhere!

Women are being forced to wear black burqas! Little old ladies being forced to bend over and worship Allah five times a day! The horror! THE HORROR!

I TRIED TO WARN YOU ALL, God knows I tried.

[Judi Lynn]

1. We must form a human chain around Rev.Warren so they can't cart him off and sew his mouth shut. n/t

[gratuitous]

17. That's gonna take a lot of humans

Rev. Warren doesn't seem too concerned about certain deadly sins *cough*gluttony*cough* if you know what I mean.

[Demeter]

2. Burka would come in handy--Windchill is 15F

and that constitutes a heat wave, this winter.

[Philosoraptor]

3. When having a burqa is better than a bible!

[BuelahWitch]

4. Are you sure they weren't Muslins?

:hi:

[Philosoraptor]

5. Oh yeah, they were Muslins, one of em' looked just like Buddha.

[BuelahWitch]

8. Tell 'em to bring me a size 18w petite

Or a 16w if they run big. And I have no idea where my Bible is, haven't seen it in years, so I hope they're up for a scavenger hunt.

[Hubert Flottz]

6. Well for heaven's snakes...

[RC]

7. Also don't forget that all women have to get abortions whether they are pregnant or not.

Ultrasound machines in abortions clinics have been outlawed.

[Philosoraptor]

9. I've seen abortion booths all over town!

[Hugabear]

19. Shit, that's nothing. I'm a male, and I was forced to get an abortion as well.

First they had to implant an embryo inside of me, which was no small technological feat. Then they forced me to abort my precious little baby!

[bridgit]

10. Next time be careful what you ask for

[11 Bravo]

11. They took my pork chops as well!

[RayOfHope]

13. Nooooooo! Not the pork chops? Tell me they didn't take your bacon too! n/t

[BuelahWitch]

15. What about the chocolate?

I'm fucking hiding my chocolate! :grr:

[RayOfHope]

12. I'm sorry, I am too distraught to worry about that. Now that all The Gays can get married

it has singlehandedly, in an instant, ruined not only my marriage but unraveled my entire family going back 2 generations.

Oh, won't someone think of the children?!

[RC]

14. See it wasn't that bad. It was only two generations. It could have been worse.

[Le Taz Hot]

16. ROFL!!!!!

OMG! One of the funniest pieces I've ever read on DU. :applause:

[Cabcere]

18. Your neighborhood got off easy.

In mine, they turned everyone gay and made us all get abortions! :crazy: :silly:

[Philosoraptor]

20. My neighborhood is the central front in the war on terror!

They're fighting us OVER HERE instead of over there!

[Cabcere]

22. Oh nooooooooooo!

[deaniac21]

21. Sounds like things are getting tough in Missouri.

[Aristus]

23. How can they erect a statue of Mohammed if no one knows what he looked like?

In my neighborhood, all the plumbers are out of work, and nobody is allowed to buy a business worth more than $250,000. :+ :crazy::silly:

[NuttyFluffers]

24. well as long as they leave the good crystal and the wet bar alone, everything is fine.

chin chin, my dear. san tropez in june again this year?

[Brewman_Jax]

25. I saw bands of roving Muslins!

they were casting asperagus at everyone!11! It was terribel!1! They took the flags, guns, and bibles!11 No amnety for anyone!1!! :cry:


:P

[PVnRT]

26. ...but what about the mandatory gay sex?

I thought that was part of the Great Gay Muslim Communist Takeover of 2009.

[Enthusiast]

27. It is, my butthole still hurts!

:rofl: