Okay. I know I haven't heard it all, but this is damn close!

[Are_grits_groceries]

A FIESTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."


Rocky means NO!!!

http://blameitonthevoices.blogspot.com/

Makes Lorena Bobbitt look like a lamb. AND he has to get rabies shots too I guess.

[leftstreet]

1. oh my

[raccoon]

2. He asked for it, he got it, and it wasn't Toyota.

But who knows if this is true or not? :shrug:

[leftstreet]

4. LOLOLOL at your username

I just saw that.

:rofl:

[Idealism]

8. Just where were you on the night of Sunday, the 25th around 4pm?

I want answers, punk!

[L0oniX]

10. I think you've found your avatar.

[raccoon]

13. Good thinking! nt

[Are_grits_groceries]

12. Here's a link to the paper:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece

[Cleita]

3. Why do these perverts feel they can sexually abuse animals just because laws don't protect them?

He got what he deserved and anyone who messes with a raccoon is messing with a cute but vicious animal.

[Blue_Tires]

9. maybe it was consensual and the raccoon went overboard with the foreplay?

Besides; rumor has it that the raccoon has a questionable sexual history!!

[L0oniX]

11. Sexual preditor ...see the mask?

:evilgrin:

[Blue_Tires]

14. that's just for added kink

[lunatica]

15. The racoon will be hard to identify because it was wearing a mask

[rateyes]

22. There you go, blaming the victim! :)

[stuntcat]

5. "thought I'd have some fun"

I'm ashamed of my species.. over and over and over.

[Are_grits_groceries]

18. Bet his idea of fun has changed. nt

[katanalori]

6. My oh my............

what women rape victims could learn from "Rocky Racoon."

[Warpy]

7. Oh, sweet Jesus, if anyone ever deserved to lose that thing forever

it's this guy.

Good for the raccoon. His next victim might have been a child, if he hasn't already done that.

[Sal Minella]

16. Justice happens.

Couldn't happen to a fella who deserved it more.

Sounds like he won't be raping anybody or anything anytime soon.
This just may be enough to keep me smiling the rest of the day.

[question everything]

17. Will wait for Snopes to confirm it.. (nt)

[Fire1]

19. It's (raccoon) such a cutie! Dumb ass won't try THAT again!

[smokey nj]

20. When asked to comment the raccoon said, "Human penis tastes like chicken."

[rateyes]

24. ROFLMAO

I'm crying here. :rofl:

[rateyes]

21. He should have put the raccoon in a box, and waited for him to

take a shit. Perhaps he would have gotten his balls back. Some people just ask for shit to happen to them. What a maroon.

[rateyes]

23. What is that gold thing in Rocky's mouth??

[Are_grits_groceries]

25. Maybe a tongue piercing?? nt

[Winterblues]

26. You know what they say, third time's the charm

I bet he won't try that one again..

[Bucky]

27. First thought: this came from Pravda Online

So I traced it back. The blog you quoted got the story from Fark. Fark got it from The Sun. The Sun won't source it, but I swear to God if you could trace it back, you'd find Pravda in there somewhere. After the Iron Curtain fell, Pravda pretty much set out to put Weekly World News out of business. And they succeeded.

I couldn't find this story on Pravda, but I was able to find a few related gems...

1. Vicious raccoons kill 10 cats, attack dogs and people

2. Rabid raccoon kills man in Moscow

3. Court charges Salem witches with tossing raccoon parts

My point is, when it comes to violent raccoon news, Pravda is all over it.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

28. Also on the same, aptly named blogspot page

Goat arrested for armed robbery
Monday, January 26, 2009

Nigerian police have apprehended a goat on suspicion of armed robbery. They claim it's an robber who used black magic to transform himself after attempting to steal a Mazda.

The Daily Mail:

'The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them.

'However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,' Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed said.

'We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody.

'We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat,' he said.

How I wish I could make up stuff like this!

[Bucky]

29. And in a related story... "Dog gives birth to mutant creature that resembles human being"

Dog gives birth to mutant creature that resembles human being



No, bad.

[Betsy Ross]

30. No picture of the injury? n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

31. " Trust me darling, the human meant nothing to me..nothing"

[MsTryska]

32. men never cease to amaze me

with the ideas they come up with for getting off.

[annabanana]

33. Ingenious way OUT of the gene pool, I must say. . . . n/t

[Initech]

34. Note to self: Never, under any circumstances, get near a raccoon.

[rateyes]

35. He won't have the balls to do that again. nt

[Marrah_G]

36. AH yes.......natures own way of weeding out the defective ones.