Octuplet's mom's mom: "It can't go on any longer," "I'm gonna be gone"

[Liberal_in_LA]

seems like grandma doesn't want to be babysitter for 14

Octuplets grandma: Unmarried mom conceived all 14 babies in vitro, obsessed with having kids

By RAQUEL MARIA DILLON | Associated Press Writer

7:19 PM CST, January 31, 2009

1LOS ANGELES (AP) — The woman who gave birth to octuplets this week conceived all 14 of her children through in vitro fertilization, is not married and has been obsessed with having children since she was a teenager, her mother said.

Angela Suleman told The Associated Press she was not supportive when her daughter, Nadya Suleman, decided to have more embryos implanted last year.

"It can't go on any longer," she said in a phone interview Friday. "She's got six children and no husband. I was brought up the traditional way. I firmly believe in marriage. But she didn't want to get married."

-----------

She said she warned her daughter that when she gets home from the hospital, "I'm going to be gone."

[CoffeeCat]

1. Maybe the mom of these 14 children...

...is "obsessed with children" because her stupid, mean-spirited, selfish mother
never gave this girl a childhood.

What kind of a "mother" rips her own daughter to the national media and disparages
her personal choices on the national stage?

What a complete ass.

[LisaL]

5. Although this exact article has been posted a few times here already,

who do you think is taking care of six children while the mother of 8 is in the hospital. And now 8 more will be coming home. Maybe grandma just had enough, ever thought about that?

[CoffeeCat]

9. No decent mother....

...turns their back on their own child--even if that child is grown--and then steps in front
of a microphone and cuts into that child.

That grandmother is selfish, and has probably always been selfish--if she has no qualms about using the media to
criticize her daughter's life choices.

I mean...what kind of a person does that to their own daughter?

And how in the world do you know that this "grandma" watches her daughter's children? You're
suggesting that this woman has done sooo much for her daughter. We don't know that she has.

We do know that grandma is more than willing to make her daughter look bad, to the entire world.

A good grandma doesn't have to watch these kids or help babysit. A good grandmother would
set boundaries with her child. However, a good grandma (and a good person) sure as hell doesn't throw
her own daughter under the bus.

[LisaL]

10. Well who would be watching them? The mother is in the hospital

and apparently has been in the hospital for while. The mother lives with grandma.
You have any better ideas on who would be watching the kids?

[Liberal_in_LA]

12. a babysitter for 6 kids would cost a mint! Grandma's taking care of 'em

[LisaL]

14. And even if the kids had a babysitter, the babysitter is not going to

watch them 24 hours a day.

[Liberal_in_LA]

15. Exactly. It would have to be father (non existent) or live in nanny. They can't afford nanny.

[LisaL]

17. And even live in nanny would have to go to sleep every now and then.

[uppityperson]

60. Hey, you changed your name.

[LostinVA]

65. Yup, it sounds like she's already given up too much already

She has lost her house, declared bankruptcy, and taken care of the other six kids. This is NOT her responsibility. She has, imo, no legal or moral duty to sacrifice her life for her daughter's pathology. She has don enough.

I think she's speaking out because SHE was being vilified in the press.

[Liberal_in_LA]

11. Mom probably set boundaries before and didn't stick to 'em. With each birth "no more, I'm not going

to help" and like most mothers, kept helping.

[Bryn]

13. Maybe Grandma has had it enough

6 kids then 8 more babies to come, 14 kids all together? I was raised with 5 siblings (6 of us) and it wasn't easy. We don't know the whole story, but I feel I don't blame grandma a bit.

[Nay]

24. And grandma shouldn't feel like SHE'S the one who has to leave. It's

her house, fer Christ's sake, she should tell her nutball daughter to pay for her own place, like a grown-up. And as for grandma badmouthing her own daughter to the media -- maybe grandma is making a last-ditch effort to force daughter to see reality. Up until now, daughter has been in la-la land.

[Carolina]

19. what kind of person???!!!

try one who is exhausted from having a daughter live under her roof with 6 kids aged 2-7 and who now probably has to deal with the media camped out in her front yard.

If anyone is selfish, it's the irresponsible daughter. Fourteen kids in vitro is just WRONG. Who's going to rear all those kids. The daughter can't even with her own father and now fed up, exhausted mother. And, of course, there's no dad, or daddies, on the scene for all these babies. And the hospital/physician bills alone will bankrupt the family. Oh, that's right, we taxpayers will end up paying for this shit, too.

This is fucked up beyond words.

[az chela]

20. CPA should investigate this situation and see about finding

good homes for these kids to people who cant adopt and would do anything to have a baby.
No single mom can take care of 14 kids and she isnt married so the state is probably paying all the bills and maybe you havent heard but California is broke.

[JI7]

23. she isn't turning her back on her daughter , she just doesn't want to continue the BS

[JI7]

28. she let her stupid fucking daughter who is in her 30s live in her home with 6 grandkids

how is that selfish.

[patrice]

29. uh . . . the woman is 33 years old.

[havocmom]

33. perhaps no decent mother of 6 would abandon them to someone as selfish

as you think grandma must be ... There are LIMITS to what a person can do. It is better to know one's limits than let others set them for one. The kids could be at risk if grandma gets pushed beyond her limit. We are not young and as energetic at 50+ as we were at 35. A decent daughter might consider THAT fact too.

[seabeyond]

43. sheeeit. i am a damn good mom and love being a mom and 1 baby at a time was hard enough

lol. i made my choices carefully, what i was able to do knowing my limitations and i was in 30's not 50's. there is no way i could do that. there is no way this 33 yr old mom can do 6 kids 2-7 and 8 needy babies. she made her poor choices at expense of children.

[beac]

38. No decent mother of six children goes and gets 8 more implanted.

"Selfish" doesn't begin to describe it.

[woo me with science]

40. Yes, mothers must be always sweet and non-judgmental of all behavior at all times.

Why does this not surprise me?

[LisaL]

54. Yea, and god forbid you say something bad about your kid.

No matter what the kid done, or had been doing, apparently you are only supposed to approve.

[ima_sinnic]

41. gramma isn't willing to be a free 24/7 babysitter to a litter of 14? how "selfish"!!

Gramma sounds like she might be the only one with a modicum of common sense, but is way too indulgent.

I figure she was probably highly embarrassed and defensive about the obvious moronic and irresponsible behavior of her 33-yo daughter, who is arrested somewhere around the age of 12. Yeah, I remember saying I wanted at least a dozen children, WHEN I WAS 12!!

When I was 13, my mother gave birth to twins, one of whom had Down Syndrome. My 2 siblings and I loved them but our lives were instantly changed. I did not really have a mother too much after that, when I could have used one, in my teenage angst years--but she was consumed with a special-needs child and we also had to be consumed with him and with his "normal" brother. And ours was not even a particularly large family--5 children in all, with a 10-yr gap between the first 3 and these twins. Believe me, I got over my "12 children" fantasy FAST! I ended up having one child, and that was truly all I wanted and could handle.

apparently you think it is just fine to breed like a rabbit and assume that everyone else will be willing to sacrifice their lives for your hobby of popping out babies like they were guppies or something.

Go, Gramma, get out of there before you have no life at all!

[seabeyond]

44. grandpa isnt too selfish and not hearing a rant. he prefers getting his ass to iraq.... n/t

[seabeyond]

42. are you fuckin series!!111!!. lol. the grown woman made an outrageous choice.

life altering, two decade choice. mom didnt have a say in it. wasnt the moms choice here. i am so into parental responsiblity. what you are suggesting is so off base in my view for so many reasons

[NeedleCast]

47. Sounds like Grandma is sick of being saddle with kids

her daughter can't raise.

I think you need to take a look at who's throwing who under the bus here. Daughter is lucky to have such a mother.

[uppityperson]

59. My word you have a lot of assumptions. eom

[LibraLiz1973]

63. I gotta tell you, as the child of a parent who abused my mother and myself,

while his mother watched and DID NOTHING, I think the basis for your argument is ridiculous.
Perhaps if my grandmother had stood up, instead of hiding the beast that she raised, a lot of people
could have been spared a lot of pain.

Pretending that the problem isn't there and molly coddling your child and excusing their behavior makes one an enabler.

[Oregone]

18. Suicide would be a viable option for me...

Raising 14 of my daughters children? You can only take so much. Sorry to say it. Im only human.

That or I would just run, without looking back. Im no Mother Teresa and can rarely manage 1 at most times (most people are the same, and hence, most people only have a few). Its sane to be driven crazy by 14 young children.

[slackmaster]

45. I think it's premature to blame octomom's OCD on the way her mother raised her

Dealing with a mentally ill person isn't easy.

[DebJ]

2. Obsessive Compulsive disorder is difficult to treat....??? n/t

The doctors who did the implants need to have their licenses revoked. I feel sorry for the kids.

[marylanddem]

3. Sounds like the whole family is mentally unstable

Judging from the grandmother's cruel public comments & the daughter's unbridled obsession with baby-birthing. If the grandfather really goes to Iraq to earn $ for this nutty crew, I wonder if he'll decide to stay there...

[TwilightGardener]

52. "Cruel"? Telling the truth is cruel? She didn't publicly call her daughter

an idiot--she clearly just spoke her own views. I don't blame her for not wanting to take care of 14 grandchildren for the rest of her years--including an autistic child and the special-needs/medically effed-up octopulets. We are talking round-the-clock full time work that won't end for years. I'd advise the daughter to give some up for adoption and move out, if I were her.

[treestar]

4. Doesn't she love her first 6 grandchildren?

And she's been taking care of them - how could she leave them, considering that they will get even less motherly attention at this point?

[LisaL]

6. She didn't give birth to them. Are you people for real?

Do you think it's grandma's job to be raising grandkids?

[seabeyond]

46. i am with you. i am really and truly confused with some of the posters.

this is a 33 yr old woman that made a horrible choice. and with all things as adult, this is her mess.

[treestar]

55. Red herring. I was pointing out this specific situation.

It's not legally her responsibility but you'd think she'd hate to leave them at this point.

[Control-Z]

58. self delete

posted in wrong spot

[Critters2]

7. The children are their mother's responsibility.

When I make poor decisions, I don't expect my dad to clean up the mess. It's part of being an adult. She wanted 14 kids. She got 14 kids.

[LisaL]

8. Exactly. The woman is 33, and it was her choice to have the children.

It's not grandma's job to be raising them.

[treestar]

56. I am only talking about the grandmother already living with them

One would think she would be more attached to them by now.

[Raineyb]

62. Technically, they're living with HER, it's the grandmother's house.

And the woman is leaving her house. She should not have to feel like she needs to leave her house because of her irresponsible, selfish daughter.

Regards

[AnnieBW]

16. One Pro-Lifer that I know

Is saying that this woman is a role-model because she didn't abort any of the babies. I sincerely hope that she contributes heavily to whatever fund is set up to pay for this litter.

[az chela]

21. EXACTLY

[otohara]

51. Hosptial Bill Expected to Be in The MILLIONS

heard that on CBS news last night.

Every damn Catholic & fundie church in this country better start a foundation just for this insane woman and those kids who will have health issues for years to come.

[MasonJar]

22. I'd be pretty outraged if I had a child who lived with me that had that

many children under 8 years (or any age fot that matter) and expected them to live at my house and expected my husband to support them. The dad has to go to Iraq to work to support them, according to a previous post. This young woman does not sound normal.

[JI7]

25. yup, i do'nt know why people are attacking the grandmother, her daughter is in her 30s

and still living at home. many parents would have kicked them out even without any grandchildren involved. that she was allowed to stay there with 6 grandkids says a lot.

[Nay]

26. In a 3BR home, no less. Grandma has been a jewel, IMHO, and

daughter is obviously a nutcase.

[seabeyond]

48. do you think the dad chose iraq caue only option? or cause clear across the world

away from a house with 14 little ones?

i thought that man was the sane one.

[JI7]

27. most people who love kids become teachers, pediatricians etc

but then again this woman doesn't really "love" kids but is obsessed with them.

[Politicalboi]

30. My cat was more responsible

With her 5 babies. And I figured there would be some who look at this woman as a saint for not aborting any of the babies.

[nancyr]

31. This whole baby litter thing is repulsive.

It seems like nothing but a freak show. It's a tragedy.

[undergroundpanther]

37. It is disgusting to me

also, on so many levels.

[seabeyond]

49. yes. n/t

[Ex Lurker]

32. "I was brought up the traditional way. I firmly believe in marriage"

Bet she voted for Prop 8 too.

[TwilightGardener]

53. Yeah, 'cause firmly believing in marriage is wrong or means you're a homophobe.

:wtf:

[JI7]

57. not always, but people who preach like that tend to be anti gay from my experience

[elocs]

34. "...been obsessed with having children since she was a teenager".

And DU is obsessed with her. Must be a slow news day. I sure seems like this woman has a problem, mental or otherwise, so I don't see it as appropriate trash someone about it since I am sure that most of our lives are less than perfect. I have read many comments over which Republicans would be giving DUers high 5s. Yes, very Republicanish comments that would make Rush proud.

[appleannie1]

35. In vitro fertilization is expensive. Who paid for all the procedures?

If it was the grandfather, he is as mentally ill as the daughter. If the mother can afford it herself, she needs to spend money on the kids she has instead of on producing more. I have 7 kids. I am willing to help them all but first I expect them to be responsible for their own actions. Producing children is an action.

[undergroundpanther]

36. I think the grandaughter

needs a hysterectomy,and to stop watching the birth/mother baby glorification shows on TV.

Because of her selfish obession 14 kids are foreced into this horrible sick world.

I myself feel most parents aren't good parents considering the rates of child abuse..But,this girl is a disaster. She needs a hysterectomy because she is obsessed,she isn't thinking beyond her selfish wants...and she won't stop forcing kids to be born.

I feel bad for her grandma,but boundaries may have helped but if the girl is in fantasy land about kids a hysterectomy would have been better.And the clinic implanting her should know better.But more money, money, money forked over by an obessed kid hoarder(is she like a pet hoarder?)can turn a corporation into a psychopath when it comes to the welfare of children so fast.

[Hekate]

39. Can't say I blame grandma. However in choosing to not be an enabler, she's going to be vilified...

... by the oh-so-understanding public, some of them here.

Her daughter is nuts. N.U.T.S. How on Earth is she supposed to fix that? Of course she loves her grandkids, but she's damned if she does (goes) and damned if she doesn't (stays).

Maybe with grandma gone, some social worker will FINALLY step in and examine this household.

Hekate

[kiva]

50. Yes, this woman is in a damned if you do/don't position.

What some people here may not realize is that grandparents have a limited legal standing in most states regarding their grandchildren, so if they do something to anger the parents they (grandparents) can lose all access to their grandchildren. One couple I knew took their infant granddaughter every weekend for over a year to give mom a break (their son, the father, was not around). Mom was not a stellar mother, usually dropped off the baby with no supplies and bad diaper rash. For a year my friends walked on egg shells, doing everything they could for their granddaughter when they had her, afraid to criticize the mom; finally they couldn't do it any more, and mom decided they shouldn't be around the child if they disagreed with her ability to parent.

[RB TexLa]

61. Guess her traditional upbringing didn't prohibit talking publicly about private matters

[progressivebydesign]

64. that doctor who allowed this should lose his/her license.

You have to jump thru all kinds of hoops to get a vasectomy or tubal ligation, but you can continually get in-vitro even tho you have no income, no family structure, and are obviously an unstable person?

Still wondering about her comment to her acquaintance that she can do this because she's "being paid for it". Think about it.. she's getting advanced degrees, doesn't work, and has 6 little children already, ALL done that same way... (where is the $$ coming for the treatments and births?

Something is very creepy here.. whether it's the guy listed on some of the certificates as the sperm donor, or a doctor or clinic that is somehow footing the bill, or a church or something. I pity those children.