A Republican Response To Ice Storms

[ThomWV]

Borrowing their concept from the aircraft industry Republicans announced a bold new plan to eliminate the devastating effects of ice storms on Americans. Ice storms, common in Republican stronghold states, which deposit heavy ice on power lines, roads, and everything else, brings wires down as well as bring transportation and commerce to a halt. Democrats have no plan to stop ice storms. However ever-clever Republicans have found a way to combat the worst effect of an ice storm, loss of power.

In a bold move to stop power outages during ice storms Republicans are telling the people to "keep electricity by burning electric." At the first sign of an ice storm's disastrous buildup, Republican's suggest, that patriotic Americans turn on every electrical device in their homes. Toasters, dryers, light bulbs, and electric blankets. 'If its got a plug, stick it in and turn it on'. The idea, first proposed by part-time scientist and full-time Pastor of the Lexington Church of the Glorious and Magnificent Savior, the Honorable Reverend Issiah Loddadumshit, is that increased electrical flow through the wires will heat them just enough to stop ice build up. The plan is also being held up as part of a new economic stimulus plan to give billions of dollars to banks which might be effected by power outages but don't have enough toasters to keep their own lines thawed.

[Turbineguy]

1. Another brilliant Republican Plan!

After all, we must always be ready to bomb the wrong country, and this is a way to ensure full preparedness.

[SpiralHawk]

2. "Ice storms prove there is no global warming." - Republicon Homelanders

"Therefore, there's nothing to worry about whatsoever. All good Homelanders can remain safely AWOL on all the so-called environmental, economic, and infrastructure 'problems' the liberals have created, and focus attention on making America FAIL at everything. SMIRK."

- Republicon Homelanders

[AndyTiedye]

3. Doing That Will Cause the Power to Go Out Even if there Is No Ice Storm

[sarge43]

4. And if that doesn't work (and surprise, it won't), there's always

duct tape and plastic sheeting.

Plus, your monthly electric bill will equal the GPA of a small third world country -- mo' money for megacorp.

[santamargarita]

5. That make about as much sense as they do...

:puke:

[rosesaylavee]

6. This is a joke, right?

Hoping so as there is no link. The past 8 years have been just nutty enough that this is believable.

[sarge43]

8. 90% sure it's a joke, but I remember when one of Raygun's

lackeys suggested that in the event of a Russian nuclear bitch slap, the best civilian defense was dig a hole, climb in and pull a door over it. Series111.

So, with Repubs, there's no bottom to the stupid hole.

[rosesaylavee]

10. And as someone else pointed out upthread

they are the ones who suggested we duck tape our windows to keep out dirty bomb fallout.

I am so glad we are moving forward in sensible, logical thinking again... we are, aren't we?

[sarge43]

12. Well, 30% still think Bush did a good job, so we shall see. n/t

[madrchsod]

7. that`s a brillant idea !

make those wires glow!

[ThomWV]

11. Each its own little fuse, right on the brink of blowing

No offense intended toward western Republicans and the airports they frequent.

[patrice]

9. Brought to you by the same folks who gave us Duck-and-Cover . . .

So when an ice storm hits, you need to plug everything in and turn everything on and then, as the power crashes anyway, duck-and-cover to keep as warm as you can until FEMA shows up and so that your frozen lifeless body, in the fetal position, will be easier to carry and stack and take up as little space as possible on the trucks and FEMA can transport more bodies more efficiently to the crematories.

Here's something hot! Obviously Reverend Issiah Loddadumshit's response to ice storms is going cause crematorium stock to go up, invest now!