"The thought of losing him was worse than the thought of losing her."

[Are_grits_groceries]

<snip>
Boudreau admitted she killed her daughter Karissa because she didn't want to lose her boyfriend — who asked Boudreau to choose between him and Karissa.

"The thought of losing him was worse than the thought of losing her," Boudreau told an undercover agent.
<snip>
http://www.canada.com/news/story.html?id=1236881

Her daughter was 12 years old. Sometimes I think the whole world has gone mad.

[Berry Cool]

1. I know it's cold comfort, but as the article's references to Susan Smith and Diane Downs point out,

while the phenomenon of mothers killing their kids because they believe their boyfriend doesn't want them is rare, it's nothing new.

It's horrible, but it's nothing new.

And you'd think that after Karla Homolka, Canada would be unshockable anymore when it comes to the horrible things women will do to kids--even if it's their own sister--and say they did it because of a man. (Of course, in her case that was partly true, but it's still...well, let's just say, if this story made you think the world has gone mad, don't even begin to read about THAT one, if you haven't already.)

But somehow there are always these pearl-clutching articles by the Canadian media every time something like this happens there. "This is Canada--people don't DO things like that up here. They only do terrible things like this in the States, where people can be EXPECTED to be evil and commit horrible crimes. How could WE have such a monster as this right within our borders??" Uh, well, guess what, folks. People DO do things like that, all over the world, and you are no more immune to it as a country than any other place on earth.

[Liberal_in_LA]

2. Yes, Canada likes to point to US when a heinous crime occurs there. n/t

[enlightenment]

3. Don't all countries do that, though?

We point our fingers at other nations when something horrid (but ever so slightly different than whatever the 'homegrown normal' horridness happens to be) happens inside their borders. I think of some of the comments made about the German man who held his daughter hostage as a sex slave or child prostitution rings in Thailand . . . those are slightly different and the press likes to play up that it happens 'over there'.

I think it's just human nature to try to deflect attention from our own failings by pointing out the failings of others.

[Liberal_in_LA]

5. true. n/t

[Berry Cool]

11. Actually, the guy was in Austria, but point taken.

Everyone wants to think it's those other countries who have bestial uncivilized people, but not their own. Just like people in small towns like to think horrible crime happens only in big cities. I just wonder how long it takes some people to learn. Hell, the Greyhound bus beheading incident happened in Canada.

[Hello_Kitty]

8. Yes, killing the kids is rare.

Other things are lot more common. Like letting the boyfriend or husband beat or molest the kids. Particularly if the woman is financially dependent on him.

[SoCalDem]

14. Mothers are not always nurturers..

I wrote this a while back, but every so often , news reminds me:(


With Mothers' Day approaching, it pains me to see so many BAD mothers
Posted by SoCalDem in General Discussion (Through 2005)

Sun Apr 17th 2005, 09:09 AM

I guess we have glamorized mothers over the years, and no one ever wants to BE a bad mother, but so many seem to be "achieving" that status...Can it be an accident?

The sad thing here is that the bad mother may pay with a few months in jail or a longer sentence...she may pay in later years when her surviving children don't write, call, or visit...but the ones who REALLY pay are the children she "loses" along the way.

Nature (survival of the fittest) has determined that mothers are responsible for the care of their young. It may be sexist, but for a few exceptions it's just a fact. Even reptiles who do not rear their young, have motherly duties beyond mating and laying eggs. The reptile mother who lays her eggs in the wrong spot will not have any young survive. Mammalian moms have it more difficult... they must also teach their young, in addition to feeding and protecting them.

It seems to me that the animals, as under assault as they are these days, seem to be doing a better job that some human moms.

We see the "mother" in the MJ case, who apparently pimped her kid (who had cancer) to MJ. Now even if one believes that he is not a pedophile, is it really a good idea to let a man in his 40's (famous or not) sleep with your adolescent son? Does taking money and gifts make it ok?

We see the mother who was "absent" from her daughter's life, so she lived with her Dad and his parents. Jessica was apparently well cared for (for 9 years) and I am sure her dad and grandparents loved her, but the fact remains.... a predator living practically next door killed her. I am not saying that her mother being there could have necessarily prevented it, but mothers are important to a girl that age, and perhaps having mother in her life could have "outed" this creepy guy before he had a chance to grab her.

Now another young girl is killed in Florida, and it looks like it's a guy her mother "dated". Mothers who choose companionship over their children's safety, are jeopardizing their lives for a few meals out, some flowers, a romp in the hay.

Single moms are sometimes the best moms in the world, BECAUSE they know that they are IT, as far as protecting their kids. There is no Dad to jump in and help. Single moms I have known do not even let their kids MEET their "boyfriend" until they are SURE of what kind of a person he is , and he has been "vetted".

Lots of predators LOOK for the needy woman with a child. They flatter the woman, but deep down it's their KID that they want. Somewhere along the line those mothers have turned their "radar" off, in exchange for some personal attention.

We are going to lose a lot more children if things don't change. Putting GPS monitors on every predator we know of will not keep chldren from being killed. It will only help us find the perpetrator after the fact. And "tagging" predators will not address a bigger problem.. the Dad, step-dad, boyfriend, scout leader, pillar of society, the minister, the school teacher, the coach...These are predators who sneak under the radar. They may not kill the child, but they do kill their souls, and self esteem.and worst of all. they steal their childhoods. That's something that can never be regained

A better solution might be to really help mothers..especially single moms. Lots of girls are growing up (and have been for a long time) without guidance from THEIR moms, so when they have children, they just wing it.

A few things could help a LOT:

Decent affordable day care (older children need looking after too)

Housing that is not in the WORST areas (where scuzzy low-lifes congregate)

Education so that moms do not have to work the lowest paid jobs, and several of them , just to get by...leaving no time with their children


No one looks into the eyes of their newborn and thinks that they will be a bad mom. They see those little eyes looking at them and imagine all the wonderful things in store for that baby, but somewhere along the line, a lot of those babies are being lost..

This is a stain on our society...that we cannot seem to protect our young...and we don't seem to be making much headway.

Some people march around with signs to make sure every baby is born, but how many are marching with signs, insisting that mothers get help to raise those babies??

[polly7]

4. Well of course people do evil things all over the world.

The author was pointing out how rare it seems to us up here ....... and it does. I didn't realize this was becoming a hate-Canada forum.

[Berry Cool]

12. Since when do my comments constitute this "becoming a hate-Canada forum"?

I'm just being realistic. For the record, I LOVE Canada. Doesn't prevent me from criticizing it once in a while, though.

[WillowTree]

6. Why don't these idiots ever...

....just give up the unwanted progeny for adoption and go off to be with the slug (who will leave them withing six months anyway, no doubt)?

[Happyhippychick]

7. As a mother, this is absolutely incomprehensible to me. My children are my life, there is nobody

more important to me and never will be.

[emilyg]

10. Yep.

[LisaL]

9. What a horrible story. The daughter also had a father.

If she didn't want to raise her, she could have send the kid to her father.
It's just awful.

[Berry Cool]

13. But women like this never do that.

They kill the kids and make up some story about how a bushy-haired stranger did it, or a black guy, or some other strange person who for some reason killed their kids but left THEM alive to tell the tale. Which, of course, is the first clue tipping off the cops that something ain't right.