Forget the Steelers, Because GOP Sex Symbol Michael Steele Is America's Champion

[Laura PourMeADrink]

http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2009/02/01/forget-the-steelers-because-gop-sex-symbol-micheal-steele-is-am/

Forget the Steelers, Because GOP Sex Symbol Michael Steele Is America's Champion
By Ken Layne
Feb 1st 2009 10:13PM
Filed Under:eRepublicans, Barack Obama, Featured Stories, Race, Ken Layne's Outrage


America's vast losing class wasted Sunday in a corn syrup/Bud Lite stupor while ordering Pizza Hut chicken wings off their foreclosed neighbor's Discover card and watching some dull televised contest between heavily-padded hired slobs, but the real Super Bowl was on Friday -- an epic battle between Americans and the Muslim world, settled after six ballots when the nation's first African-American former lieutenant governor from Maryland hit a "home run" and became chairman of the Republican Party.

Yes We Can!

Michael Steele, a black person the Republicans found somewhere, was elected leader of the Republican National Committee on Friday, after a daylong battle against traditional Republican party leaders (middle-aged white guys who dream of somehow owning slaves). America is healed.

Steele's victory is especially poignant because his main rival was an actual South Carolina plantation owner from one of those "whites only" golf clubs for the white racists.

This confederate country clubber, Katon Dawson, hoped to bring the party back to its White Power roots, but he was narrowly defeated by this legendary civil-rights leader, after hours and hours of grim-faced balloting by the RNC. This painful banquet-room contest between pinched-face cretins was, without doubt, the worst C-SPAN broadcast of all time.

But it was also hilarious, because it was grim evidence of the Republican Party's total collapse. These angry losers are going to finish tearing each other apart long before they have a coherent thought about competing in national politics again.

The embarrassment continued over the weekend, as the party's last celebrity -- dingbat Alaskan anger bear and human trainwreck Sarah Palin -- failed to show up at the GOP's congressional retreat in Hot Springs, Virginia.

Worse yet, Palin lied to the GOP congressional leadership, claiming she needed to stay in Alaska for whatever reason, maybe to get high and watch the Super Bowl while eating Taco Bell and bidding for some Shrek Beanie Babies on eBay.

Instead, she was at the elitist Washington D.C. rich & powerful "Alfafa Dinner," with her hero Barack Obama. They laughed it up, toasted to the good times, and probably did some kind of "When Harry Met Sally" skit. So cute! Even old John McCain was there, working the coat check.

Asked about the Republican wingnut darling Sarah Palin deliberating deceiving the GOP congressional leadership and skipping this dumb retreat for a sexy dinner with Barack Obama, House Republican leader John Boehner said, "Whatever."

Ken Layne is coach for the Arizona Rednecks, a "strip-mall sex-soccer" team in the Western Regional League. His sports commentary appears daily at Wonkette, the nation's football blog.

[ellie]

1. Hey! It's Ken from Wonkette!

There was a liveblog of the voting on Friday. Hilarious.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

5. i thought it was very funny. I like how he said they found him...somewhere..

[billybob537]

2. Who's got that pic

"Steele Democrat" campaign sign?
We should never mention him without that sign!
It'll make their heads explode.

[Bill219]

4. Is this the one?

<img src="">

[KharmaTrain]

3. One Day We'll Thank Michael Steele...

This con artist will be the Terry McAuliffe of the repugnicans. He's already behind the "8 ball" here with his party and once the "glow" of his selection wears off (any moment now), he and his repugnican cronies will show us why Steele never won an election and how truly fractured this inept party is.

If Steele's campaign abilities demonstrate how he'll be at the party level, look for a lot of incomptence. The guy talks a good game on teevee but is a terrible fundraiser and organizer. In short...he's the anti-Howard Dean. On top of that, he's dealing with a divided party with branches that feel they are the "answer" and that the losses were everyone elses fault. Steele's gonna have to unite these factions...and with what? I can't see him getting the phone calls answered...and his ego will eventually get the best of him...alienating the very people he will need if the party is to become viable again.

Have a seat and enjoy the show...the implosion of the GOOP has just gone into the next dimension...

[Laura PourMeADrink]

6. you are right. I also think the obama schmoozing with Palin is

brilliant -- legitimizing her...making her think she can win. No way, no how, in a million
year could she win the presidency - unless, of course, she has a brain transplant..

[JVS]

7. This Ken Layne sounds like a real elitist snob.