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How Do I Tell a Parent Her Kid Is Out of Shape?

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RandySF Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:03 PM
Original message
How Do I Tell a Parent Her Kid Is Out of Shape?
My girlfriend and I live in San Francisco with our three-year old son. If you live here or have ever been here, you know that the hilly terrain turns a simple stroll into a workout. When he turned two, I quit using our stroller because my son was getting too heavy to push uphill and I thought the exercise is good for him. However, we frequently babysit another boy about our son's age whose mom STILL pushes him everywhere. Last week, we walked with both kids two blocks DOWNHILL to a Walgreen's and by the time they got there, the kid had to lie down on the floor to catch his breath. Just a few days before that, he only managed to walk half a block before he started crying. My question whether we should tell the kid's mom that she needs to ditch the stroller most of the time or let her push him around so he can continue to walk around out of breath? What do you think?

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MineralMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. Unsolicited advice is almost always Unwanted Advice
Welcome to DU...
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elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
17. Even solicited advice is often not really welcome. n/t
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Vincardog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
2. Why not go for a family walk with here? Let your boy walk and let her get all worn out trying to kee...
up? Show by example.
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nichomachus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
3. Don't diagnose the kid
Tell the mother the kid was gasping for breath after a short workout and should be seen by a doctor. Let the doctor tell her if they kid is out of shape or has some other problem.
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wildflower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:45 PM
Response to Reply #3
49. I agree with this
It could be due to a medical problem, or some other reason.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
4. Rat her out to Child Protective Services for child abuse
Let nature take its course.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #4
26. I hope you're not serious. All this would show is ignorance.
For a three year old, walking is still not a mode of transportation. It is a mode of messing around, of exploring. This three year old is behaving normally. Very few that age are hikers.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #26
36. Either she is abusing the kid or she is not
If so, calling CPS is appropriate. If not, then mind your own business.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #36
39. It's not minding your own business to call CPS.
And this child is displaying typical 3 year old behavior. There's no reason to call CPS because a 3 year old still prefers a stroller on the hills of San Francisco.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #39
43. I'm saying either call CPS, or do nothing
Depending on whether or not the child is being abused.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #43
70. But there is no evidence of abuse. So why bring up CPS? n/t
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LanternWaste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #39
46. It's all or nothing for a lot of people...
It's all or nothing for a lot of people on these boards-- one extreme or the other is an easy way to live one's life. :shrug:



There's probably no good way to tell your friend, and the only thing I could suggest would be to couch it in terms that if told to you would not get you upset at the messenger...
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LisaL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 08:11 PM
Response to Reply #36
66. Hello?
There is nothing in the post to indicate any possible abuse.
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Zodiak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #26
59. I have to agree
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 05:34 PM by Zodiak
I remember when I was 3-4 years old and I had my babysitter come to my house and we'd walk to her house where shed would watch me until my mom would get off of work. As an adult, I know the walk was a mere half a mile and very easy, but I remember I had to take 3-4 rests along the way.....I was REALLY tired! The good thing is...the rests were as short as the bursts of walking.

I grew up completely normal weight and a little on the athletic side when it came to endurance sports.

Really young kids have lots of energy, but no endurance for walking.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:37 AM
Response to Reply #59
91. "Really young kids have lots of energy, but no endurance for walking."
Right. The same kid who won't walk two blocks to the playground will then spend an hour running around the playground, swinging, sliding, and climbing.
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Zodiak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 01:41 AM
Response to Reply #91
97. Yes, that is what I'm saying
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 01:41 AM by Zodiak
Since body and mind are both necessary for activity, the comparison is apples and oranges since a playground offers endless diversions, the opportunity for seconds of impromptu rest, and the workings of a multiplicity of muscle groups. Liner ambulation requires sustained attention, concentration, and application only to a few muscle groups....not like playing at all. Playing is the activity for which kids are physiologically programmed mind and body, not sustained walking.

Kids (and we are talking toddlers, not schoolkids) are not adults mentally nor physically, and each is capable of different uses for their energy.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 02:04 AM
Response to Reply #97
102. Your answer just now is the perfect one. Too bad the OP (and some others)
probably won't see it.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
5. I think a 3 year old walking the hills of SF is too much
that doesn't mean you can't engage the kid in playing to get him moving.


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Donnachaidh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. exactly how much do you know about this kid's medical history?
Is there any possibility there may be an asthma problem with the child?
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RandySF Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. We've known the kids almost since birth
If he has asthma, it has not been diagnosed.
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. If you feel you must bring it up
I would raise it in this context. The child might really have medical issues.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #8
31. It's not asthma. He's just stressed from being expected to do something
most 3 year olds aren't ready to do. Yours being one of the exceptions.

Hills are steep in San Francisco and walking down them takes coordination that he may well not have. And walking isn't a mode of transportation for a child that age -- it's just a way of having fun.
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NOW tense Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:09 PM
Response to Original message
7. She knows. nt
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IntravenousDemilo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
9. Perhaps it's wise not to tell, but rather, to ask.
Something like, "Wow, is he always this tuckered out after a walk?" Show genuine concern, which I believe you have anyway, so it should be easy. The kid's mom might be able to give you some insight as to whether he has a bad heart or asthma or some such thing, or whether he's just fat.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 01:56 AM
Response to Reply #9
101. Thats good.
.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:11 PM
Response to Original message
10. Are you sure he doesn't have a medical problem?
If he's out of breath walking half a block downhill he might have asthma or some other kind of breathing condition.
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OHdem10 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
12. I have found it best to steer clear of telling other people how and
what to do in rearing their kids. I would only speak in very general
terms. Maybe, " I saw this program where they explained the importance
of young children having physical activity".
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #12
38. That assumes the child isn't getting enough activity.
Many many children will refuse to walk two blocks to a park and then spend 40 minutes racing around on all the equipment there. The problem is that the parents want them to walk in an adult fashion -- straight from here to there -- and most 3 year olds want to stop every two seconds and "smell the roses." And they get very frustrated if you don't let them.
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Fovea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
13. This is well may be a medical problem
and you should suggest your friend take her child to the doctor.

Otherwise, there is a strong likelihood that a very bad adult quality of life is being created, or a serious metabolic/vascular problem is trying to get everyone's attention.


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SidDithers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
57. My undiagnosed Celiac daughter tired very, very quickly...
because of severe anemia, and was one of the reasons why we knew something was really wrong.

Sid
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:47 AM
Response to Reply #57
96. Glad you got your daughter diagnosed.
From someone not diagnosed until well into adulthood, she'll be much better off.

:hi:


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SidDithers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 09:48 AM
Response to Reply #96
106. Thanks. Diagnosed at 5...
and she'll be 11 this month. Her growth has (mostly) caught up to her classmates, and she now skates twice a week and runs cross-country.

A normal, happy, healthy kid in every way :)

Sid
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otohara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:14 PM
Response to Original message
14. Ask Mom if She'd Like to Join You & Your
son in a walk.

Let her see for herself
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Parker CA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
15. Suggest more play=dates at the park or for walks down by the water / Embarcadero.
Get the little rascals down onto some flat ground where they won't feel so worn out.
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Soylent Brice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
16. unless you're a doctor it will probably end in disaster.
not your job to parent, but if you're watching him just start making it part of the daily routine to go for walks and exercise.

i hear wii fitness is exhilirating...
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elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
18. Yes, welcome to DU which is like the Hotel California:
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
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grannie4peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
19. i used to walk the hills of sf, toting a conga drum made from a
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 03:22 PM by grannie4peace
soy sauce barrel :):):hippie: just say " you kid is out of shape compared to mine"
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #19
32. If s/he says that, s/he should not be surprised to lose a friend. n/t
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grannie4peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #32
47. if you are going to say something you should love
that person as much as yourself.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:24 PM
Response to Reply #47
76. To say "your kid is out of shape compared to mine" would sound competitive
and snotty from anyone's lips, IMHO.

And it's just plain wrong, too. Just because a 3 yr. old is frustrated by the experience of steadily walking down a steep San Francisco hill doesn't mean the child is out of shape. The normal three year old doesn't view a walk as a way to get from point A to point B, the way an adult does. The typical three year old views a walk as an exploration. S/he wants to stop every few seconds, to notice the grass growing out of the crack in the sidewalk, to jump over the crack, to stop and watch the crow flying overhead, to point to the bus rolling down the street, etc. The average three year old doesn't want to be dragged down a hill at a parent's pace. If a parent wants to do that, that's exactly what strollers are for.

Maybe the OP is trying to justify the OP's own decision to ditch the stroller for a TWO year old by criticizing the other parent for still using a stroller on an older child. Maybe it is the PARENT who thought it was too hard to push a two year old in a stroller who should be getting in better shape!
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SteelPenguin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
20. How often do you babysit him?
You say frequently....If it's once a week or more then you should make a goal of everytime you babysit him you keep things very active. do stuff, walk, hike, go to the zoo and run around, go to a playground etc. Make the kid have fun being active, and the kid will get out of the stroller himself. Try and do stuff socially with the other parent, if you are social with them, like go to the zoo or something, and don't bring a stroller, and lead by example.
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krabigirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
21. You don't.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #21
67. And be sure to never call the cops if you see someone being beaten on the street and left to die.
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 08:15 PM by Deja Q
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-04-09 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #67
120. There's no comparison at all. This 3 year old is behaving like a typical
3 year old -- the OP just doesn't realize that.
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Ezlivin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
22. I've seen paraplegics make better use of their legs than your son.
Your son reminds me of a tired locomotive chugging up a hill.

There are fetuses in better shape than your son.

Does your son get off the couch very often?

It looks like your son barely has the strength to push away from the dinner table.

That should get you started...

:)


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RandySF Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #22
27. It's not my son
It's the kid we babysit.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #27
40. Whoosh
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Donnachaidh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:20 PM
Response to Reply #40
45. ...
:spray:

No kidding :rofl: Where'd I put those papertowels....
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mtnester Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #40
64. Right OVER
dang
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prayin4rain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #40
73. Didn't even stop to collect $200!! n/t
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #40
81. you called that right
:rofl:
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Runcible Spoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #27
55. ........
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prayin4rain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:20 PM
Response to Reply #55
74. hahahahhahahha n/t
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Zywiec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #22
44. ROFL
:rofl:

Thanks for my afternoon laugh!
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Ignis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #22
52. But why break it to the kid gently?
:rofl:
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Stephanie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
23. You should suggest she have him see a doctor
No child should be out of breath after walking two blocks. Maybe he has a heart condition.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
34. I bet anything the child isn't really out of breath. He's just frustrated
because he is being asked to do something a child of that age shouldn't be expected to do.

Seriously. If you read Brazelton or any other of the "experts" you'll see that most three year olds aren't hikers -- even for a couple of blocks -- much less hill conquerers. It's more like walking a dog that doesn't heel. They want to stop every two seconds to point at something, to smell a flower, to listen to a strange sound. They get frustrated if you want them to walk from point A to point B and skip all the interesting stuff. And they'll try to go on a sit-down strike -- or worse -- if you try to make them.
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NeedleCast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
24. Telling other people how to parents is a good way to wind up
with no friends.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
25. I would describe the situation to his mom without making any judgments
Hopefully mom will connect the dots and stop using the stroller so much. If there is an unknown medical issue with her son, then she'll probably tell you at this point...then again, if he does have a medical problem, you should have already been told since you're babysitting him.
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Lance_Boyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
28. loosen some nuts/bolts in the stroller.
when it gives and chubby goes tumbling down the hill, comment to the mom that it's a good thing there's no snow on the ground or those people down there could be crushed.

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chatnoir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. lol ...
:evilgrin:
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
29. Consult a child care book. This is perfectly normal 3 yr. old behavior.
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 03:35 PM by pnwmom
Have you ever taken a dog for a walk? A boy dog who wants to stop and sniff around, mark each tree, etc.? Who gets diverted by every interesting sight, smell, and sound along the way?

Most three year old children view walks as exploration, as messing around, as play -- not as a mode of transportation from point A to point B, as adults do. When you want them to walk like an adult, they'll get frustrated very quickly.

There's probably nothing wrong at all with this child that getting older won't cure. Just feel fortunate that your own child is unusual and you could ditch the stroller when you did. I see plenty of 4 year olds in strollers still, and I know why.

(By the way, my four year olds didn't mind walking, but the boy next door definitely did mind. I think his Mom was probably embarrassed when he went on a "sit down strike" when we walked the two blocks to the park together. Yet he had a great, active time playing in the park and he grew up into a fine athlete in the long run.)
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RadiationTherapy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #29
54. You are correct.
I am bummed more people didn't agree with your posts.

This OP is clueless about child development.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #54
71. Thanks, RadiationTherapy. I'm kind of surprised, too,
at the sheer lack of common sense.


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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
30. how do i tell a parent their kid is stupid. academics, learning, thinking is top priority in our
house. they have been reading at youngest of age and by middle school were reading college level. they are informed and continually seeking information to intellectually grow. we have a friend who never has encourage son to read. or tink for that matter. he flops down and cries if i tell him "i dont know" isnt a good enough answer.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:46 PM
Response to Original message
35. Get really really drunk and call the parents in the middle of the night.
This will strongly demonstrate your concern to the parents.
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earth mom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
37. Sounds like you are pushing YOUR kid too hard. 3 years old?! C'mon now.
:eyes:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. I was thinkiing that, too
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 04:05 PM by LostinVA
Nothing wrong with a stroller at three-years-old in many situations. It's also safer.

This has the smell of bounce about it.
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Vinca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
42. Maybe the kid is out of breath because of a medical problem.
You might mention to the mother you noticed the kid out of breath and wonder if he might need to see the doctor. He could have a heart problem no one knows about.
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ContinentalOp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
48. We live on a very steep hill...
and I took my daughter on a long walk up the hill once when she was around 3. Now she's 4 1/2 and she's never done it since! It's nothing to do with fitness, just will.
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Greyhound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
50. Since you live in SF, it would be easy to play the "concern" card.
Relate the experience and be very concerned that she take spawn to the doctor to have him checked.


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Dorian Gray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:12 PM
Response to Original message
51. It's not really your place to offer
this advice if you weren't asked for it in the first place.


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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:21 PM
Response to Original message
53. Maybe the kid has asthma
Kids normally shouldn't be out of breath walking like that, but there are days when walking out to get the mail has me winded, and the mailbox is on the front porch. :P
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bbernardini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
56. I don't know, but make sure you use the word "fatty".
Parents love a jokester. :)
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
58. He could definitely have a medical condition
that said, I have seen kids whose parents keep them in a stroller because it seems to be easier for the parents. With my two year old nephew, when we took him around a (large) city block last year, he would be game for a while. Then we'd carry him, put him back in the stroller, mix it up. But I think if they are capable, it's good to get them out of the stroller once in a while, even if the parent has to walk more slowly. It took us about twenty minutes to get around the block, but it was fun.
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book_worm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
60. myob
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 05:42 PM
Response to Original message
61. Just schedule more playdates
and do active activities. Kids like to move around - he'll be pestering his mom to get him out of the stroller in no time
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Ms. Toad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
62. I'd make a game out of it, and see if being winded disappears
We used to go hiking with our daughter from age 0-14. The hikes were mostly flat - but the distances were considerably greater (1-2 miles). It was just past her 3rd birthday when she started hiking most of the trails rather than being carried.

For the first year or two, she was way too tired to hike with us and kept either sitting down, or asking to be carried. Then we discovered that if we played hide and seek with her she had all sorts of energy. One of would stay back with her, the other would run ahead and hide behind a tree. She would make a mad dash to find whoever was hiding - and keep it up for the entire hike.

Try making a game out of the walk and see if the child suddenly has more energy. My guess is that he will - that it is more that he doesn't want to walk (and is putting on an act) than that he can't.
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WindRiverMan Donating Member (693 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
63. It is none of your business.
Let her parent the way she sees fit and you parent the way you see fit. If the poor kid is not used to it, asking him to walk two blocks is unfair. Quite honeslty, WTF is wrong with YOU making a kid walk until he cried? If anyone abused that little boy, you did. He may have asthma, bronchitis, anemia, or may just not be used to it, or being three, maybe he was just tired that day.
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readmoreoften Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 06:47 PM
Response to Original message
65. Tell the mother your concerned her child may have asthma. Other than that, mind your business.
And stop being so judgmental. You have no idea why this child is so "winded." It's a three year old for god sakes. It's legs are shorter than yours. Two blocks is like ten blocks to you.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
68. That's why most kids have pediatricians
That is their specialty. It could be that the kid has asthma or an underlying condition that causes his shortness of breath, like asthma.
I'd stay out of it personally.
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LisaL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
69. As already has been pointed out, the child might be completely normal,
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 08:21 PM by LisaL
and there is nothing wrong with his health. But if you think the child's behavior is not normal, you can simply mention to the mother the child gets easily tired if he has to walk.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
72. You don't...He's only two years old. He'll outgrow it...
Not all kids develop at the same rate as yours. Don't sweat it.
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Maru Kitteh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:22 PM
Response to Original message
75.  Why not take the nice route
Edited on Mon Feb-02-09 11:23 PM by Maru Kitteh
And tell her you are interested in fitness for yourself and your kid and tell her you'd really love to have their company in some kind of program, either one you make up or from a website, community fitness program, etc.?
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:35 PM
Response to Original message
77. RandySF, maybe you're the one who needs to get in better shape,
since the reason you quit using your stroller was because your two year old was getting too heavy to push uphill.

Do you see how that made you feel? That's how this other parent might feel if you suggest her child's out of shape or that she's spoiling her child.

I live in a very hilly area, too, so I can understand the temptation. And your kid went along with it, so that's fine. But many active three year olds who are great at running around in the playground will balk at walking even a block or two, in a directed way, from point A to point B. Walking at that age is mostly exploration, fun, play -- not transportation.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
78. How do I tell a DUer that his OP is full of shit?
:shrug:
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:48 PM
Response to Original message
79. I love this thread. A mish-mash of shit advice and ill-advisement.
First of all, he's a toddler. Jesus.

Secondly, this 2 or 3 year old isn't keeping up with you and your son that are used to this type of exercise. Cool.

Tomorrow, you are coming to the gym with me. If you can't put in an hour of hardcore lifting, and by hardcore I mean that you need to max out the leg sled, bench 315 for reps thrice and then do 30 minutes on the treadmill, I'm calling your mom.

Did I make my point?
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #79
83. You did, but consider what you are up against:
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notadmblnd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-02-09 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
80. maybe the kid has asthma?
That's how I found out about my son's. He just collapsed on the floor at school after recess trying to catch his breath.
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LisaL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #80
90. Who knows.
It's very hard to figure out whether the kids' behavior is normal or not over the internet.
Is he collapsing on the floor because he is out of breath or because he is upset he had to walk?
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
82. How do I tell the author of the OP that they are the one who is out of shape?
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 12:06 AM by Blue Diadem
You complain about a 3 yr old who may get tired or may just not want to walk much and yet you quit pushing your own kid in his stroller uphill when he was two because it was too heavy? It would appear the "out of shape" tot's mom is in much better shape than you, she's still pushing her kid in his stroller.
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Brooklyns_Finest Donating Member (747 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:10 AM
Response to Original message
84. Don't worry about someone elses kid
Keep doing what you are doing with your own child. If your friend doesn't care about the health of her own kid, then that is her problem.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:41 AM
Response to Reply #84
92. There's no reason to suspect the other parent doesn't care about her child's health.
The OP just doesn't realize what is normal three year old behavior, and that it is rare three year old who is a happy hill hiker.
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:10 AM
Response to Original message
85. which two blocks? from where to where?
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 12:35 AM by CreekDog
SF hills are rough, even downhills are brutal.

i grew up in SF.

i still hate the hills here. :rant:

besides, he's 3. his muscles are not developed, and he is not accustomed to walking as your son is.

:banghead:

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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #85
93. Muscles, bones, joints, sense of balance are all still developing in a three year old.
You're right.
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Lucian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
86. You don't.
It's none of your business.
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MadBadger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
87. Id say its none of your business...but all of it is really none of My business.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #87
94. Hey, I liked
your old name!
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slampoet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
88. I am told Weekly to STFU because i scold kids for STEALING from me. i am told that i have no right..
...to tell their kids to give back the food they are stealing from me.


If I as a business owner have no right even when the law and morality are on my side then you haven't any right either.

Suck it up and stop getting other business.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:27 AM
Response to Reply #88
89. If you catch my kids stealing I hope you get on to them...
They won't, because they're good kids, but just the same...I say do it. Yell at the kids who steal. Flip off the parents who yell at you for it.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 12:45 AM
Response to Reply #88
95. You have a right to ban those parents from your store.
Their kids might still be salvageable, however, if people like you keep letting them know about behaving themselves.
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slampoet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 03:52 AM
Response to Reply #95
104. I don't have a store, I have a farmer's market. The situation is ...well, More complicated.
Frankly these are RICH KIDS. (over 80k in income and under 8 years old)


But thank you ALL for your replies and support.

The thing that galls me is that I don't have Children because I and my partner Can't afford to adopt and are ethically opposed to making more children of our own. Meanwhile people who seem to have supported Hillary (it takes a frikkin Village) OVER Obama aren't allowing us to be part of their village because we are poor and people of color.


When i was a child i was Made to volunteer an an elderly home where the older people gave me advice.

Sometimes this was corrupting advice since their generation had gone through the Roaring Twenties and some of them were former Bootleggers and Flappers. But Still i respected their advice about how to carry myself and even how to get a date (even if at age 7 I didn't understand.)

What saddens me is that people take a look at me and my partner and they don't give us the same respect that i gave those elders.

I am just short of forty but it doesn't mean that i deserve to be treated like a Polak or nigger or Mick or Wop or whatever (and i have had one of us two called each of these terms this year) just because i ask their WEALTHY children not to steal from me and my wife because someday we want to reach that magic 50k a year income that lets social agencies suddenly allow us to adopt.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 01:53 AM
Response to Reply #88
100. Fucking thief kids!
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 01:47 AM
Response to Original message
98. Assuming you're not their pediatrician, you don't.
:shrug:

The kid's three. He'll be out of the stroller and walking more any time now, because he'll be too big. No need to make a scene.
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 01:51 AM
Response to Original message
99. Do you know their pediatrician?:
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 01:52 AM by elleng
Seems that's a good doctor's job. (My Doc. just today asked me about my exercise!)
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 02:09 AM
Response to Original message
103. Suggest a checkup, might be asthma. or allergy.. a common reason for kids to run out of
breath that young


And if he is out of shape, doctors will gladly tell mom

By the way... be ready for an angry response
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #103
112. If the child has energy in other situations -- at a park for instance --
then not wanting to hike down a steep hill -- or even two blocks on a flat surface -- is perfectly normal three year old behavior. Even four year old behavior.

Ever take a puppy on a walk? It's the same thing. Young animals want to play and explore, not walk from someone's else's point A to point B.

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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #112
119. Our much older parrots suffer from this as well... they are CURIOUS
but asthma and allergies are up, unfortunately, so having a check up is not that bad of an idea

Oh and OLDER adults who are curious about the world also suffer from this... ahem curiousity
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BamaGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 04:13 AM
Response to Original message
105. I was in SF this summer for a conference.
I didn't get the chance to venture very far from my hotel (on Market), but I'm in pretty good shape and I couldn't imagine expecting any of my kids, when they were three, of doing a whole lot of walking in that city, certainly not what I saw of it. (Admittedly not much.) Between hills and crowds? Yeah. Not so much lol. There might be an allergy or asthma issue. Or maybe he's just three and your average three year old is built for spurts of energy and not prolonged exercise. They outgrow that, but at three I definitely wouldn't be worried about it.
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TwilightGardener Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
107. If the child isn't just being a stubborn three year old, then there's something medically wrong with
him. Even chubby toddlers have boundless energy--kids don't get "out of shape" at that age. I wouldn't say anything, unless it's to ask if he's had a checkup to see why he has such low activity tolerance.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:26 AM
Response to Reply #107
109. That really isn't true. Kids do have boundless energy at age, BUT
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 10:28 AM by pnwmom
not for walking as adults do, from point A to point B. There are several posts here that explain why, including one that talks about the physiology of walking vs. other forms of activity.

From my experience with small children from my own family and others, the same child who won't walk two blocks to the park will then spend an hour running around the park and playing on all the equipment there. The thing is that a three year old isn't a hiker. Have you ever walked a puppy? Noticed how they want to stop every two seconds to walk off the trail or to sniff something? A three year old human will do the same thing -- stop to pick a flower, stop to watch a crow fly, stop to point to the fire engine across the street, try to walk in a different direction than you want to go, etc. Walking isn't for transportation at this age, it is for fun and exploration.

And if you want to get a pair of three year olds from one point to another, you've doubled your problem. Yes, healthy three year olds are active. But if you want to transport a pair of them efficiently from point A to point B, without getting at least one of them extremely frustrated (and probably involved in at least a sit-down strike) then strollers are the way to go.

Also -- the OP stopped pushing his or her own TWO YEAR OLD in a stroller because the parent didn't have the energy. Maybe it's the OP who needs to get in better shape, since s/he seems to resent the need to push another person's child in a stroller if s/he walks with them.
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TwilightGardener Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #109
111. Well, yeah--I don't know any little kid who doesn't turn into a passive-aggressive
lump of deadweight when on a "forced march" to somewhere he doesn't want to go. Geez, I remember my own kids at that age lying on the floor of the supermarket, whining and crying. I just meant that if the kid isn't up to normal TODDLER activity, it might be a medical problem, because toddlers don't really get "out of shape" in the adult sense.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #111
116. Exactly! Oh yes, I remember that "lump of deadweight" phenomenon!
My interpretation of the OP is that we ARE talking about a "forced walk" situation. The OP says that s/he has to frequently babysit the other child, take him to places like Walgreens, and that the OP stopped pushing his or her own child in a stroller at age two because the OP thought his or her own child was too heavy. Naturally, the OP doesn't feel like pushing someone else's child in a stroller either.
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FedUpWithIt All Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:03 AM
Response to Original message
108. He is three. Two blocks is a long way for some healthy three yr olds.
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 10:08 AM by FedUpWithIt All
Some kids take in more of their surroundings than others. This can be exhausting for little ones. Some kids find walking boring. Some kids have medical issues. Some kids have shorter legs and must do twice the body work to cover the same distance.

My daughter used to overwork her legs. Like she was running in place every time we would walk anywhere. She would get quite tired. Now she is 16 and very healthy.

Chill and let the kid be. His mother knows him best and she is most likely content with her son as he is.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #108
110. Good answer. And some of those hills in San Francisco are pretty steep
and hard on the knees no matter what your age!
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #108
115. I agree
This is a post about a 3-year-old? When I saw that a kid was out of shape, I thought maybe a 7-year-old. But a three-year-old gets winded after walking up and down huge hills? No news here.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:36 AM
Response to Original message
113. Use telepathy
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:37 AM
Response to Original message
114. Say, "Damn! Your kid's out of shape!"
And leave it at that.
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #114
117. No, don't leave it at that. Be sure to add:
" I stopped pushing my two year old because he got too heavy for me, so now I don't want to have to push your three year old when I'm babysitting him!"
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pnwmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-03-09 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
118. You could say: "I need you to leave John's stroller here with me. He still needs it when
Edited on Tue Feb-03-09 11:04 AM by pnwmom
we take walks."

Then if they ask if your three year old still uses one, you can answer truthfully.
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appleannie1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-04-09 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
121. The day will come when she no longer can push the stroller. He will have to walk then.
She will only get angry if you say anything so wait for that day.
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