Stage IV cancer--Kay Yow

[monarch]

If anyone wonders why Elizabeth Edwards wanted her husband to continue with the campaign just look at Kay Yow. The NC State coach is clearly in the final months of her life, but she has`said that she is pain free and` never seems more alive than during the`2 hours of a basketball. She has been an inspiration to her team--and to everyone who has`ever seen one of her teams play.

As a RABID fan of the UConn women, I was almost torn by the choice of which team to root for. After all, it is only a game and the UConn players and coaches have many more games to look forward to. For Kay, it was probably her last game ever. I was glad that the game was so close and that her team played so well.

I certainly feel for the`fans of NC State. First Jim Valvano and now Kay. I can't even imagine how devastating it must be. So to all of you NC DUers--You are in my thoughts right now.

[rateyes]

1. I hear that...

My alma mater (ETSU) sent NC State a men's basketball coach, Les Robinson to NC State. I'm a Volunteer fan myself, but found myself rooting for NC State tonight (especially since they were playing UCONN...But, I'm kinda hoping Tennessee and UConn meet up again in the finals...this time with Tennessee ending up on top again)...for the same reason you were torn. Kay Yow is a class act.

[madrchsod]

2. from Wikipedia,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kay_Yow
Kay Yow - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Tess49]

3. I love your picture. I want one. n/t

[loyalsister]

4. Wish I could say the same about my neighbor

God dammit there is an elephant in the room. There is privilege related to this. My neighbor was approved for her disability benefits as soon as it was discovered that she was out of remission.

She spent 3 years applying for disability benefits and receiving experimental cancer treatments. Of course, since her cancer was traced to hep C- her fault.

It would have been nice if she could have had her meds covered, had access to reliable tried and true treatments, and a little money to get by on during those years. Fortunately, she'll be able to leave her family what she gets to make up for the pittance they could throw her way occassionally.

When you see the reality of the poverty related to health care and people who are dying it is depressing when that institutional bias shows up without mention.

I would hope that at least some DUers would make an effort to understand the contrasting reality of what is happening.

[monarch]

5. I understand your frustration about your neighbor, but

I am unclear about the intended recipient of your criticism. Was my post insensitive in some way? Do you feel that DUers in general are not making the effort to understand reality? Please explain.

[loyalsister]

7. It is institutional and cultural

The criticism is not directed at you specifically.
There are unacknowledged roles and expectations that have resulted in stereotypes.
The inspirational sick person is a stereotype that devalues people who do not meet those expectations.

People who have not had the direct experience of being a part of this marginalized minority frequently unknowingly participate in perpetuating stereotypes without knowing it.

These stereotypes contribute significantly to the cultural oppression of people who live this reality because reactions based on stereotypes have been institutionalized in our culture.

Why don't more people say things like:

"It sucks to have cancer. I'm usually tired and there are days when I feel really sorry for myself. I find ways to laugh, and fun things to do, though. We do what we can."

That's neighbor's discription.

[Berry Cool]

8. I understand you, loyalsister.

I admire people who can hang tough through illness, but I do not put them on a pedestal. And I don't consider them courageous just because they have a disease. The disease is not their choice. How they deal with it is. And each has to deal with it the way he or she feels is best.

I admire Elizabeth Edwards for being willing to deal with things as they come and not ask her husband to put their shared dream on hold for her. But if she felt differently, and he had made the decision to withdraw for her, she would be no less admirable, and I would not be judging her and blaming her for making him feel he had to pull out of the campaign. I also will not judge her if that is a decision he makes later.

This is their situation and they get to make the decisions about how to handle it. No one else has the right to judge their decisions. All anyone who has a disease like this can do is the best they can to cope.

[DemBones DemBones]

10. You're quite right. Sick and disabled people aren't supposed

to ever allude to their illness/disability. They are supposed to be cheerful all the time.

There's a related belief that people who are upbeat and believe they will get well will in fact "beat" their cancer or other disease.

[Hekate]

6. The health-care disparity in this country is a frequent recurring topic at DU,& daily reality for...

...many DUers.

If occasionally we stray from self-absorption or worry over our near and dear ones to discuss the plight of someone we admire who also happens to be much higher on the economic scale -- it doesn't mean we are suddenly less sensitive to the plight of those who have less.

Elizabeth Edwards is a friend here at DU. She is also going to die of this disease. She is confronting her fate gallantly -- but chances are very good indeed that she will not live to see her two youngest children grow to adulthood, or even out of high school.

It's right that we should care about that, and not show bias toward her due to her economic good fortune. She, too, is a member of this community.

Hekate

[monarch]

9. Update on UConn fans and Kay Yow

http://www.courant.com/sports/college/husky/women/hc-ucwomside0325.artmar25,0,1447873.story?coll=hc-headlines-huskywomen

Coach Wins Over Some UConn Fans
March 25, 2007

By LORI RILEY, Courant Staff Writer FRESNO, Calif. -- As Kay Yow left the court, she waved to the fans. And they gave her a standing ovation. She shook hands with well-wishers on the way out, even the LSU band, which stood and cheered her before the game. Nobody wanted to say it, but it could have been Yow's last game after 32 seasons.

North Carolina State's inspirational run through the NCAA Tournament ended Saturday night at the Save Mart Center with a 78-71 loss to UConn in the Fresno Regional semifinals. Yow, 65, who has been battling Stage 4 breast cancer, was calm after the loss. It hadn't hit her yet, she said, that her team wouldn't come back to practice today."It takes a little while for it to sink in," she said. "It's always hard."

It was hard for her players. Junior forward Khadijah Whittington, who had 13 points and nine rebounds, cried at the postgame press conference, talking about her coach and what she got out of this season.

"The team will take a lot of life lessons from this year," Whittington said, then trailed off, crying. "Just having a coach who is able to fight with you, to be there for you, with all she's going through. When we were down, she still believed in us."

Asked for her reaction, Yow said simply, "That's what coaching is all about. I coach basketball, but I've always thought of myself as coaching people. It sort of thrills me to hear that."

Even UConn fans were cheering for her. Former Middletown residents Kathy and Jim Kirby have been with the Huskies since their first national championship in 1995. They have seen UConn win three national titles in person.Saturday night, they were cheering for North Carolina State 3,000 miles away."We're diehard Connecticut fans," Kathy, a retired teacher, said before the game. "But tonight, I'm sorry ... We've got to cheer for State tonight. I never thought I'd say that. Geno has got a million banners and he's got next year. I don't think Kay Yow will be coaching next year."

The Kirbys retired and moved to a small town outside of Raleigh, N.C., over the winter. They contacted N.C. State to see if they could get tickets and where they could make a donation to the women's basketball team. Somehow their e-mail ended up being sent to Yow. She helped them."I've sent cards to Kay, e-mails to her and she'll send me one back - `Thank you for thinking of me,'" Kathy said. "There's probably 10 million people a month who send her cards and e-mails. Who are we?" They are fans who were watching Saturday night.

Auriemma honored Yow by wearing a pink patterned tie. Yow's assistants wore jackets in different shades of pink. Yow wore Wolfpack red. In addition to the traditional pregame handshake, Auriemma gave her a one-armed hug.Then the game started and it wasn't about Yow or breast cancer anymore, which is the way Yow wanted it to be. It was all about her players and what they could do against UConn, a team they hadn't beaten since 1998 when the Wolfpack went to Yow's only Final Four.

"We ran up against a really good team," she said....

[mmonk]

11. Thanks for that. She's in the Basketball Hall of Fame also.

She's an inspiration and gets on with her duties when she can living full every chance she gets.