Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

One contestant who struggled to hit the target was Sen. John Kerry (D-MA). After nearly 20 unsuccessful tries, several of which involved Kerry standing well ahead of the thrower's line, carnival officials finally allowed Kerry to just walk up and press the button with his hand.
Other carnival highlights included "Crazy Rahm's Guess Your Weight" game, President Carter's face painting station—which raised $52.75—and Laura Bush winning her third consecutive demolition derby. Still, the main attraction was Cheney, who several times sprayed the crowd with a Super Soaker, suffered an estimated 1,396 assassination attempts, and once suggested that participants with weak arms be sent to Afghanistan "to toughen up."
"I think that son of a bitch was actually having a good time up there," said attendee and former press secretary Ari Fleischer. "Much different than in 2000 when Al Gore refused to take off his T-shirt."
While the dunk tank remained busy throughout the evening, reports from the other side of the White House lawn were less favorable, with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice having not yet received a single customer at her kissing booth.



http://www.theonion.com/content/news/cheney_dunk_tank_raises_800

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. I'll pony up $100 to throw hard balls at Cheney!

Let's see how patriotic he really is!

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

2. And he's not allowed to wear a cup. nt

[Earth_First]

4. A what? I couldn't hear you.

Could you spell that sir?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

5. Meh, I'd be aiming for the face anyway.

That old fucker ain't procreating anymore anyway.

[Poll_Blind]

3. Didn't Globochem buy out Hennessy's Apple Butter?

I loved those glass jars it came in. But then, so do I.

PB

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

6. "Hey I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth!" nt

[Still Sensible]

7. He could play the boss in the next Doritos Crystal Ball ad

just a thought