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Edited on Wed Feb-04-09 10:43 AM by Prophet 451
Obama is too centrist/conservative for my liking. He's been in office all of two weeks and he hasn't yet strung Bush up by his figgin, arrested the entire Republican party and forced universal healthcare through by executive fiat. So, let's scrap Obama. Here's a Cabinet we can believe in!
President - Batman
Here's a guy who has it all. He's bright, handsome, fairly young. He inherited wealth (attractive to Republicans), personally courageous and he has a cool car. Experiance of living overseas would be a bonus when dealing with world leaders although the fact that part of his time was spent in China may lead to rumours of secret communism (personal wealth probably mitigates against that).
Vice-President - Oliver Queen
In the spirit of true bipartisanship, our Vice-President represents a more liberal viewpoint. Coming to us fresh from a stint as mayor of a small town in "real America", Ollie was among the first city officials to dispense marriage licenses to same-sex couples and worked to ensure health coverage for his constituency. Maintaining a largely positive outlook isn't easy in these times but Ollie finds that his time spent relaxing on the archery range helps.
Sec of the Treasury - Emma Frost
While known mostly today as an educator, it should not be forgotten that Ms Frost built a sizeable business largely from scratch. Her skills at the negotiating table, combined with her phonomenal looks (let's be honest, it never hurts) have led competitors to say that is was like "something has taken control of my mind". Rumours of unethical business practices have never been proven.
Sec of Energy - Doc Manhattan
Who better as Sec of Energy than the guy who's a walking glob of plasma? He understands energy so well that he managed to reassemble his body from it's componant molecules not once but twice. Granted, his aversion to wearing clothes may be a problem.
Sec of Transport - Tony Stark
A mechanical genius, Stark managed to devise a revolutionary form of transportation in a cave! From a box of scraps! Granted, his history of alcoholism and dubious personal ethics may count against him but if Cheney (a man who almost radiates pure evil and kills plants just by his proximity) could make it, Tony Stark's a shoe-in.
Sec of State - Lex Luthor
Now, hold on. We're trying to think outside the box here. Luthor is one of the smartest men in the world, a natural at the intricate power games and politicking that make up modern diplomacy. OK, he has the slight vetting problem of having tried to take over the earth on several occasions but again, see Dick Cheney.
Press Sec - Clark Kent
Comes to the administration from a long history as a Pullitzer Prize winning investigative reporter. Utterly incorruptable, Kent has long experiance both in print and television. Milquetoast image means he isn't going to win any charisma contests but he has a face you instinctively want to trust. Also Sec of controlling Lex Luthor.
Sec of Defence - Bruce Banner
I can hear you asking "why?" already. Don't we already have two world-class scientists in the administration, why do we need to put one in charge of defence? This is the basic misunderstanding. Banner isn't in charge of defence, Banner is the defence. With Banner in this position, we can scrap the entire ground military. All we need is navigation to get us to the country we're at war with and a plane to throw him out of.
UN Ambassador - Princess Diana
While malcontents may protest the inclusion of a non-citizen of questionable sexuality in our administration, we feel that Diana's cosmopolitan personal history and command of multiple languages stand her in good stead for this appointment. Comfortable both in the pagan, gay-friendly culture of her youth and the Christocentric, homophobic culture of the USA, Diana is well versed in finding common ground among disparate peoples. Also, any world leader sniffing about negotiating with a woman gets a swift lesson when she staples them to teh desk with a croque hoop.
Sec of Education - Charles Xavier
The idealist of our administration, Xavier comes to us as the former headmaster of the award winning Xavier Institute. With a background in running a school on a day-to-day basis, Charles will be more sympathetic to the practical realities faced by teachers and school administrators than the previous administration. Having spent many years working with Emma Frost (scantily clad, hyper-sexual), Charles will also be teaching the rest of the administration how to avoid the Monicatrap.
Sec of Health - Dr Stephen Strange
After an inspiring career at the cutting edge of microsurgery, Dr Strange's career was thought to be over after a car accident (note to Kent, do NOT comment on rumours of drunk driving) crippled his hands. That Stephen went on to become a world-class psychotherapist demonstrates his comittment to healing patients in both body and mind. Although mildly eccentric (the cape is an affectation), Stephen's first-rate medical mind make him a valuable addition to our team. Upon his confirmation, Stephen intends to make the investigation of complimentry medicine a priority.
Attorney General - Matt Murdock
Although blind from childhood, Matt has built a sterling reputation in his home of New York City as a bastion of legal ethics. Utterly incorruptable, famously fearless, Matt has acted both as prosecutor and defence, donating a significant portion of his time to pro bono work on behalf of NYC's poor. He has defended the innocent when it was not politically expediant to do so and prosecuted when a weaker man would not have done so. On several occasions, Matt has defended mobsters from charges they were genuinely innocent of before later prosecuting them for their crimes. In his actions, Matt has been the very embodiment of blind justice and we are proud to have him as part of our administration.
Homeland Security - Col. Nick Fury
A military veteran and longtime specialist in counter-terrorism, Nick comes to us as the former director of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, more commonly known as SHIELD (note to Kent: Do NOT comment on rumours of super-soldier project, it does NOT exist). His experiances as a veteran of World War II and in the counter-terrorism world of SHIELD give him a unique insight not just into the theory of homeland security but into the ground-level practice of how directives are put into action.
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