Death Assurance

[jaksavage]

Death assurance by the Qwyit Company

As our generation ages we inevitable have times where we look each other in the eye and talk about our own demise. It usually comes around to “how do you want to die”.

Old age is a popular response, and we recommend this if at all possible. But as we get along the way how we die becomes more important.
“ Ohh I wouldn’t want to die like that poor sucker. Or from this or that awful disease. “

Some of us are just more practical and want to go out on our own accord before the ugly face of decrepitude takes us over, makes us mute and incontinent, warehoused until voluntary death. But you can be saved from all that with Death Assurance. We have services to fit every budget and every last wish you would like to fulfill.

Some of the reasons people all over the world are using our services, in their own words.
‘I don’t want to live to be 100, I want to die in my lovers arms, I want to go in an avalanche, I want to go with out pain, I don’t want to be shittin my britches, when I can’t remember my own name, when I can’t ski anymore, if I was blind, If I lost all my money, if my wife/husband cheated on me, if any one ever finds out I’m gay, no brain activity, 1min, 2 min, 1 day, 1 week?, when my teen age daughter brings home her new beau and his is twice her age, unshaven, and is looking around as if he were casing the joint", you decide you choose it is your life. For the budget minded we offer the” 38 special “

Pricing is a simple formula: multiply your weight by your age times the date times expenses times difficulty(1 to 10).
Payable is easy monthly installments which will be attatched to unencumbered assets in the event of a premature release, as we call it.
Some delays of service may be encountered around the holiday season due to heavy demand.

So think about it, would you rather moulder away in a diaper, eating mushy green beans or jump out of airplane?

Call 1-BOOKYOURDEATH, today.

ps this is a joke, my tribute to Carlin

[havocmom]

1. You watched that Twain Award show too, didn't you

I miss his wit and voice. As I get older, I shall miss him more, and think your joke is less a joke than a grand idea! :hug: