Need a laugh? Ted Haggard Had a Sex Toy Molded After Himself, Used It

[Hawkeye-X]

In a second set of clips from Michelangelo Signorile's interview with New Life Church volunteer Grant Haas, who recently came forward with new sex and meth claims about Ted Haggard, Haas describes 'Ted Two', a dildo Ted and Gayle Haggard had molded after Haggard's manhood which Gayle used on her husband and herself. Haas also discusses how Haggard came to be his "counselor" over his struggles with homosexuality.

http://www.towleroad.com/2009/02/ted-haggard-had.html

[Ian David]

1. Oh, who hasn't done THAT? n/t

[robinlynne]

7. dinner all over the keyboard!

[vssmith]

10. And like there is something wrong with that

[Ian David]

2. This is just what Senator Dickless Harry needs! n/t

[corpseratemedia]

3. Aren't they out of money?

"Ted Two to The Rescue!"

the marketing possibilities...:freak: :freak:

[Behind the Aegis]

4. So, he really can...

...go fuck himself! :)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

5. Argh

You stole my line.

[Mari333]

43. LOL

[zbdent]

6. yes, but can you satisfy someone with something

thinner than a pencil, and about as long as a nickle?

[stevedeshazer]

8. Okay, where can I go to have that done?

I've always wanted a life-sized replica of Li'l Stevie.

[originalpckelly]

11. Clone a Willy...

around $20, just Google it. I don't know how it turns out though...

[SoCalDem]

30. Great band name, eh?

:rofl:

[originalpckelly]

9. Enough already, leave the poor guy alone.

We've been too hard on him, it's not like he was a rabid anti-gay pastor. I'd take ten Haggards over one Falwell.

"Can you take ten Ted Haggards? I'm Ted Haggard, and you don't have to be hard on me anymore, I can be hard on myself."

[Name removed]

12. Deleted message

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[nickgutierrez]

13. This takes narcissism to whole new levels.

:o

[UTUSN]

14. AND it turned him (himself) on?!1 Or let me phrase it another way, EWwwww!1 n/t

[mitchtv]

15. take two

They're small

[ecstatic]

16. that's one dedicated wife!

:crazy: Actually this didn't make me laugh, just made me cringe a little.

[Name removed]

17. Deleted message

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[Marr]

18. You know, I just feel bad for Haggard.

He doesn't seem like one of these power-tripping con-men, like James Dobson or Pat Roberts. Haggard seems like a man who needs counseling. He seems like he desperately wants to be something that he is not. He's so convinced that being gay is evil that he just cannot accept himself, and his entire ministry was, I think, just a way for him to externalize his own inner struggle.

[cherish44]

19. When are fundies going to realize humans are sexual beings?

Granted not all of us are as special as Mr. Haggard but still ya know most people kinda like to have sex. So why make an immoral thing? It's how God made us.

[Stevenmarc]

22. Because there's no money in relieving guilt

[Hugabear]

20. So if you told him to go fuck himself, he could literally do it.

Awesome.

[S n o w b a l l]

21. TMI

Ick. I really didn't need to know that. :(

Must replace thought with something cute.

[riderinthestorm]

23. Usually it's "underpants" who posts the topics that just boggle the mind.

But here you are, posting one to rival the ages. Just contemplating the dark rings of hell that compel one to get a sex toy molded after their dick...to use, on yourself AND your (cough) wife....

Honestly, I want to know how many guys have ever contemplated getting a sex toy molded on their dick?

:crazy:

[Enrique]

24. Ted Two: Electric Buggeroo

[DS1]

44. Nice

[Hepburn]

25. This Bullshit for Haggard is just so 1990's....

...geeeeeeez, Ted, get a life, OK?

[Snarkoleptic]

26. ...knew he was a dildo all along...

[Kaleva]

27. ""Ted also told him that he tied up his testicles to some rod..."

I'm a very open minded person when it comes to trying new things but having my testicles tied to some rod is out of bounds for me.

[Kaleva]

28. When it's so cold, I can't find my pee-pee

a silicone replica of the real thing would make a good substitute.

[47of74]

29. Mr. and Mrs. Haggard using Ted 2????

[Seldona]

34. ROFL!

My thoughts exactly. I don't have an industrial grade grater like the one shown though, at least in scale. Might take awhile.

[Warren DeMontague]

31. Learning to love yourself.

Truly, it's the greatest love of all.

:rofl:

[TWiley]

32. Ahhh ....

I can almost hear his tortured religious reasoning:

"It is not sinful masturbation or adultry because it is a likeness of my own rod and staff, and not one of an unknown Phillistine"

[and-justice-for-all]

33. Thats hilarious!!

Now if he would just come and stop being a fuckin' hypocrite...

[SalmonChantedEvening]

35. His toys are no longer confined to his attic.

[Mister Ed]

36. He created man in his own image...nice Biblical ring to it. n/t

[47of74]

39. Yeah, and I suppose the Haggards had a ring somewhere for, well, you know....

[peekaloo]

37. Ted Two: The Second Coming (sp)

:hide:

[xchrom]

38. kick

[JitterbugPerfume]

40. it is sad

Ted Haggard is a tortured sad man

[Starry Messenger]

41. No! I didn't want to know that!!

Sweet jebus. And all I can think of now is "What is Joe the Plumber going to do to up the ante?" Sometimes I think these media attention whores have a contest going to see who can be the worst.

[Carni]

42. Maybe I am out of the loop here...

But where in the world would they have gotten *Ted Two* manufactured?
I was unaware there were companies who offered this (I guess personalized?)service.

Good God! I think I'll just stay out the loop lol

[dustbunnie]

45. Makes perfect sense that they would have made a replica of his penis.

Since Haggard is gay, it's probably difficult for him to maintain an erection with his wife so it seems like a practical solution. Also, it allows him to have some form of gay sex with her (in being penetrated himself) although a lot of fantasizing would have to go along with it. But can't be particularly ego-boosting for the wife.