2 Cows Economics

[babylonsister]

http://www.thewashingtonnote.com/archives/2009/02/2_cows_economic/

2 Cows Economics




This is one of the more clever posts on economic theory I have seen in a while.

Read the entire list of 21 economic models as told through "cows". . .
http://thrandur.net/chitchat/two-cows-economics-world-iceland/


But here are some I particularly enjoyed:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM - AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

-- Steve Clemons

[tammywammy]

1. funny n/t

[grannie4peace]

2. that's great!!!!!

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[Ichingcarpenter]

3. I've seen the conservative spin on this cow thing

but yours is a little different.

Interesting spin but

American capitalism: You have two cows, kill one
and feed the brains of the dead one to the live one.

Mad cow.

[Bozita]

4. The Icelandic scenario has a very American ring to it.

[zeemike]

5. That Icelandic corporation cracked me up

And it sounded a lot like Enron..

[knitter4democracy]

9. I was thinking of Milo Minderbender.

It sure sounded like what he was always doing in Catch-22.

[NOW tense]

6. The Dutch are the robotic milkers not the Germans

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vo4NJU5wTk&feature=related

[AntiFascist]

7. Trickle-down Reaganomics...

The corporate plutocrats buy up the cows at a discount during the latest recession/depression. The cows are milked thoroughly in order to make creme brulee for the executive class. Any leftover drippings are sold at a profit to the masses.

[AntiFascist]

11. You should see what they do with peanuts...

Social Darwinism - fresh peanuts are prepared by passing them through the digestive systems of the cows. The prepared product is then separated and used in free lunch programs and distributed to disaster victims. It is also used in other products that are sold through quantity discount distributors.

[SoCalDem]

8. In college, in 1968, they used the cow theory to explain governance

everything old, is new again:)

[wildflower]

10. How about Libertarianism...

You have 2 cows.
Your neighbor has 0.
You keep your cows, and their milk, and your neighbor gets none.

[TroubleMan]

12. LOL at the New Zealand one

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

[chollybocker]

13. If you have two cows, they're probably lesbians.