This was written by my girlfriend, who is an abuse survivor. She is a proud, practicing Pagan & Norse Witch. She owns/runs a support group for pagan, wiccan, atheist, et al; survivors of all types of abuse, whether it's mental, physical, parental, spousal, societal or peer abuse. She does this because too many of these people are reluctant to seek help from Judeo-Christian based support groups, due to prejudiced thoughts/actions against non-Christians.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help or support, please contact autolykos63@yahoo.com and she will direct you to her group's URL. I've left the URL out for now to preserve the privacy of other group members, for their own personal safety reasons.
What's a Survivor?
Saturday, 1/31/09
By: Wolfie
Good afternoon, my family!
The other day I was reading a book, and I had an inspiration...I wanted to share this idea with you.
Being a survivor is a grand and glorious thing! So many never make it to this step, and it's quite an accomplishment in and of itself. We wear it like a badge, and we SHOULD. We've come out the other side, battle scarred, bruised, but, by all the Gods, NOT BROKEN.
We go on. Yes, we cry, sometimes, for the way we wish things could have been...we grieve for what's lost, both inside us, and outside...but we learn to walk again, we learn to laugh again.
We must not, however, stop there. We mustn't allow ourselves to become ONLY survivors...that limits us. It stops us from growing, changing, adapting...and it can freeze us inside...make us afraid to trust, to love, even ourselves. We could stop, say..."Ok, I lived through it. Now, I'll just wait to die..." Huh? What's the point of fighting our way out of that hurricane of violence if we're just gonna tell ourselves that's all we need to do? That's not the end, my loves...it's the BEGINNING.
So, we're FREE. We can go on to become whatever it is we've wanted to be, that the others have always held us back from. Paint. Dance. Write. Sing. Hike. Climb mountains. Go back to school.
If we stop at "survivor", we are still giving our abusers power to limit us, because we are stopping in both pride, AND FEAR OF NEW THINGS. Ah, gods, what if I'd let them make me think my poems were trash and never tried to get them in a book with my name on it? Cause they tried, you know...everyone from my mother to my husbands told me to get my head back down to earth, and let stupid poetry go....what if I'd listened? What if I'd stopped after getting out? While it's true I will never be an Immortal Poet...I still DID make my dearest dream come true, the one they'd tried to beat out of me since I was little. I DID IT. And went above and beyond that. Do you see what I am trying to show you?
Not that I'm special, not that I've done something no one in the history of the world ever did before...but that we have to keep on keepin on. We have to move beyond survivorship, and become what we were yearning, burning, needing to be all of our lives...whatever it is, grab it and run with it.
Yes, you are strong. Yes, you are able to come through hellfire and brimstone. You are as brave as any soldier that ever lifted a sword...but there comes a time when we can heave a sigh of relief, lay the sword aside, wear our scars and badges proudly WHILE WE GET ON WITH LIFE.
Don't allow the abusive negativity of others with small minds and petty jealousies make you believe you can't. If THEY are content to sit on the sidelines, and veg in front of the tv, and allow someone else to do their thinking and doing for them, so be it. But you, you don't have to. You've been somewhere they haven't...and come out victorious.
Use that victory as a springboard, darlings, not as a sandy spot to build a little castle to hide in...cause we all know what happens to castles built on sand...
Don't stop yourself. Don't JUST identify yourself as a survivor. You are so very much more. You have so much to offer the world, and those around you.
Volunteer. Did you know you can use volunteer work as a job reference? Many of us are on the hunt for work these days, and I can say from personal experience that potential bosses are impressed as hell if you've volunteered to help your community in some way. And the supervisors of the work you do as a volunteer are usually happy to give you a good reference. Volunteering even once a month at your local library or SPCA chapter is a great way to start. Lots of schools need volunteers too, especially with the economy the way it is. Plus, it makes you feel good, and is a good way to get started on the path to becoming MORE.
Don't sit there and make a face at the monitor, thinking, "Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Wolfie..." Cause if I can do this, you can do it. You just have to try. Don't stop.
You have wings...FLY.
Love, Wolfie
http://lummoxpress.com/newlp.htmBare Feet, Broken Glass by Anita Wynn - available from Lummox Press $6 ppd.
Written in memory of Rose, and all, who have suffered or died at the hands of abusers. Don't let their memories die...and give hope to those who think there's no way out...
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