A few excerpts from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honour Cultures of honour and cultures of law
One can contrast cultures of honour with cultures of law. In a culture of law there is a body of laws which must be obeyed by all, with punishments for transgressors. This requires a society with the structures required to enact and enforce laws. A culture of law incorporates an unwritten social contract: members of society agree to give up most of their rights to defend themselves and retaliate for injuries, on the understanding that transgressors will be apprehended and punished by society. From the viewpoint of anthropology, cultures of honour typically appear among nomadic peoples and herdsmen who carry their most valuable property with them and risk having it stolen, without having recourse to law enforcement or government. In this situation, inspiring fear forms a better strategy than promoting friendship; and cultivating a reputation for swift and disproportionate revenge increases the safety of one's person and property. Thinkers ranging from Montesquieu to Steven Pinker have remarked upon the mindset needed for a culture of honour.
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Cultures of honour will often arise when three conditions<1> exist: 1) a lack of resources; 2) where the benefit of theft and crime outweighs the risks; and 3) a lack of sufficient law enforcement (such as in geographically remote regions). Historically cultures of honor exist in places where the economy is dominated by herding animals. In this situation the geography is usually remote since the soil can not support extensive sustained farming and thus large populations; the benefit of stealing animals from other herds is high since it is main form of wealth; and there is no central law enforcement or rule of law. However cultures of honor can also appear in places like modern inner city slums. The three conditions exist here as well: lack of resources (poverty); crime and theft have a high rewards compared to the alternatives (few); and law enforcement is generally lax or corrupt.<1>
This Wiki article is flawed in very many ways, but it gets at one very important point. It is a doomed venture from the start to try to impose a capitalistic European/American society and system of government, laws, and sets of values and beliefs in a land where, given the conditions the people live within, simple survival dictates a wholly different set of beliefs and values. They do not live in the same world/society as we, and trying to impose our system on them is doomed as an attempt to force them to feed themselves through their armpits.
It's a hard thing for many of us, living in a much different world, to understand. Our understanding of such an apparently obvious distinction between right and wrong is often totally at odds with theirs. Long ago I had the good fortune to have a long discussion on "right and wrong" with a young Afghan who, with incredible patience, finally allowed me to decenter enough to sort of "get it."
I hope this is helpful.
I've tried before in other ways to help people see this. Maybe a few more commentaries might help, if you want to read more about my experiences and share them.
http://journals.democraticunderground.com/ConsAreLiars/17http://journals.democraticunderground.com/ConsAreLiars/14http://journals.democraticunderground.com/ConsAreLiars/12http://journals.democraticunderground.com/ConsAreLiars/7http://journals.democraticunderground.com/ConsAreLiars/6And take a tour of Afghanistan, as seen through the eyes of a professional photographer who loves the land and people:
http://www.lukepowell.com/A giant gallery - start anywhere and spend a few minutes or a few days, or a few minutes every day. Over time, if you are willing, you will begin to see them as family.