A Freep's Lament (snicker): True Story: "UPS Driver Tells Me More Birth Certificates Being Ordered"

[stevedeshazer]

<snip>

True story. In anticipation of the coming Red Tsunami (courtesy of Hussein, his party and a few RINOs), the family has been discussing possible options.

As we are true to our principles, this is not mere talk--we are preparing. Guns have been purchased, and passports (some long expired) are being pursued just in case we decide the Republic is not going to be saved.

As I've never had a PP, I needed a birth certificate to get one. Being something-something years old, I don't have my original, so the State Department (now run by IMPEACHED42's "wife") tells me I need one.

Apparently the company that gets your old BC is busy. The UPS guy would only deliver if I signed...no leavin' it on the doorstep. When he pulled up, I waved and he asked my name.

----

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2183537/posts

[rcrush]

1. What?

Their posts dont make any sense

[rurallib]

2. "As I've never had a PP"

does this mean what I think?
Good lord this is funny.

[Ilsa]

5. Passport. Lot's of freeper-types have never been out of the country. nt

[EmilyAnne]

48. Very true! Most of my fundy family have never set foot on an airplane.

They all thought I was really messed up when I moved to Spain.
"Why would you want to go there???" was the most common response.

For people who claim such strong faith in God, they are the most fragile and fearful little things.

[SmileyRose]

84. Lot's of them still need Mom's permission to leave the yard

[Maru Kitteh]

86. I've never been out of the country.

None of my immediate family have been outside the country. Are we to feel inferior?

[Frank Cannon]

89. I've only been out of the country once and have no passport

I visited Canada back in the day when you didn't need a passport to do that.

I can't afford to travel out of the country. Does that make me a Freeper?

[Maine-ah]

93. lol, I was thinking the same thing too

I've been to Canada, but it was before needing a passport, and honestly I don't really count it either.

[Ilsa]

106. No. It means exactly what it says.

I was responding to "PP". Maybe that is the person you should ask. Maybe I should have followed it with, "Lots of Americans don't have passports." But Freepers were the subject matter.

I've been out of the country a number of times, but only to several Caribbean countries at a time when a passport wasn't required (I carried my birth certificate plus several forms of photo ID). It was years ago.

[DesertRat]

91. Many have never left Mom's basement

:eyes:

[JFN1]

8. Maybe he needs to see

a urologist...!

[karynnj]

10. He never had a passport

I guess he thinks it is two words - and he seems angry that you need a birth certificate to get one - he's an idiot.

[Ilsa]

26. Yeah, like how'd that immuh-grashun person not reelize he's not a turrurrist. nt

[karynnj]

54. lol

[monmouth]

11. Pass Port?????....Bwhahahaha....n/t

[Bobbie Jo]

51. LMAO

:rofl:

[Fridays Child]

12. ...

:spray: :rofl:

[SoCalDem]

19. and he wonders why his wife left him?

:rofl:

[Bobbie Jo]

55. Porta Potty.....of course.

[GoneOffShore]

60. Tis a genuine Freepism.

One more entry to the Freeptionary.

[elizfeelinggreat]

105. LOL

That's how I read it at first, too.

Hey, if you've had children they all pick that up. ;)

[Ilsa]

3. All dressed up and no where to go! And where do they think they'll be taking the guns?

Alot of libertarian-types don't like Canada because of the strict gun laws. Where are they going if they can't sneak their guns in?

[Avalux]

9. I wondered that too. Guns and passports don't go together very well.

They might be able to sneak them into Mexico; probably not Canada and nowhere else. Stupid idiot.

[liberalmuse]

20. How are they going to maneuver the wall...

and the shoot-happy border guards? Fucking hilarious! Canada allows gay marriage, and they're also very particular about whom they let in, and I'm afraid some fat, toothless, uneducated podunk with a rusty 'ol pickup truck full of guns, rabid dogs and children by 4 different wives is just not going to pass muster.

[Ilsa]

25. And don't forget the beer. I don't know if freepers will drink the Canadian stuff! And

sports! Canadian football? Hockey? (we love it, but that is because my hubby is well-travelled).

Can you imagine them getting down to Mexico and insisting they speak English?

[comrade snarky]

65. The last thing you want to do

Is bring a gun or ammo with you into Mexico. They take a very dim view of the neighbors to the North who think it's a frontier like in the old west. You might get away with a big bribe but it's more likely you'll get a first hand view of a Mexican jail.

Course a freeper would probably claim it's his right to carry a gun in another country. It's in the constitution!

[Eryemil]

87. Oh great gods no, they're the reason I am IN Canada in the first place.

[gratuitous]

4. Where are they going to land when they flee the country?

Obviously, they're going to apply for asylum as refugees who fear for their lives should they have to return to the United States. Where are they going to go? Canada and its socialized medicine? Mexico and all those swarthy brown folks? Or further afield? And how do they plan to get all their guns and ammo into their new land of freedom? Other countries aren't quite as (shall we say) liberal about their gun policies as the United States; and particularly not where a refugee seems to be deranged.

And, since birth certificates are matters of public record, they are administered by government agencies. What "company" is our scared little friend ordering his birth certificate from?

These guys are a laugh a minute. I just wish they didn't have quite such easy access to firearms and ammunition.

[mwb970]

94. Here's one who's headed for the Phillipine rice paddies.

To: MyTwoCopperCoins; KansasGirl; bgill
Personally, I'll be headed for the Philippines if it gets too bad.
My wife and I have working property there with rice paddies, fruit trees, and three miles from the beach.

I can live on rice, fruit, and fresh caught fish if I have to.

12 posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 5:53:36 PM by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)

To escape Obama, this couple will move from their trailer to the rice paddies of Asia and live on rice and fruit. Right. And I'll flap my arms and fly to the moon.

[MillieJo]

102. Forget Europe or Australia, were it is illegal to carry a gun...

And where even more people like Obama and think Conservative Republican's are nuts.

[rpannier]

6. First off

I got my Passport in 94 and I needed a Birth Certificate

Second
If he contacts the county where he was born...which is what I did at the age of 29 they can send a certified copy of his Birth Certificate for about 35.00

Third
What country does he plan on going to with those guns? Mexico, Canada? Because if he flies 99% of the world will confiscate those guns at customs and he probably won't get them back

Fourth
He's going to have to prove he has enough money to live where ever he goes. Countries don't just hand out visas unless you can prove you won't be living in poverty and under state support -- Yes, that includes Australia

Fifth
He's an idiot

[Viking12]

7. Yes, because Hillary just made up the rule that you need a birth cert to get a passport

:freak: :tinfoilhat: :rofl:

[susanna]

41. That got me too.

It's been a requirement as long as I've been alive. But then I don't live under a rock with my guns. :rofl:

[chollybocker]

13. Yeah, Hillary is sitting at her State Dep't desk,

poring over birth certificate applications; "yes...no...no...yes..."

What loons.

[LeftyMom]

18. And then she googles people to see if they post at batshit right-wing message boards.

Oh no, we can't let him out of the country to tell the horrified world the truth about our impending socialist revolution. Dispatch the black helicopter squad. *cackles*

[unapatriciated]

61. and stamping R's on them.

[SammyWinstonJack]

14. !!!

:crazy: :silly: :crazy:

[Missy Vixen]

15. Yup, there's an exodus going on

:sarcasm:

I can't wait to hear where these brainiacs think they're going.

Then again, at least I won't have to go there, will I?

How dare that UPS guy insist on a signature for a certified copy of a birth certificate, huh? :rofl:

MV
Getting ready to renew my passport...

[Critters2]

23. Don't let the screen door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya, there, friend!

Buh-bye! :hi:

[Missy Vixen]

42. I can only imagine how many over there are reading and making a plan

At least 20, don'tcha' think?

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

16. Hey FReeper,

You need your birth certificate so MEXICANS can't get US Passports. :eyes:

[Fleshdancer]

17. I notice that people who never travel are the ones to judge other countries the most

Now they're scared because you need a passport to go to Canada and Mexico too. I bet they think Obama changed that rule. Idiots. I hope they do get their passports and I hope they leave. Not because I don't want them here (I don't care) but because they need to get out and see the world beyond our borders.

The funniest freep post of the day:

"I recall a socialist regime that stamped “Js” on Passports in the past -— couldn’t get in anywhere as a result of being undesirable."

[NutmegYankee]

21. "Red Tsunami" Someone is too stupid to tell blue from red.

This isn't white vs red, you dumb red bastard.

[EFerrari]

22. I believe this is a True Story. This little freep has never had a PP.

[arcadian]

24. Where are they gonna go?

Some other country and bitch about how liberal THAT country is?

[DKRC]

34. Paraguay?

Resurrecting the Bush (Huge) Land-Acquisition-in-Paraguay Story
by Residentcynic
Fri Apr 27, 2007 Daily Kos

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/4/28/2544/07385

<snip>

First thing's first: in early 2005 Paraguay passed a law that allowed the country to harbor international criminals--alright, the more diplomatic phrasing is that they
granted immunity to U.S. military, (thus, including Commander-in-Chief Bush) from the International Criminal Court if indicted for war crimes or crimes against humanity. (Another link here concerning military moving in to Paraguay.) This was around the same time (May 2005) 400 US Marines were allowed to operate in the country in exchange for aid for 18 months.

Bush allegedly bought land in Paraguay in 2006, a roughly 98,840 acre parcel in the Paso de Patria area called "Chaco", close to the intersections of Paraguay, Bolivia, and Brazil. Apparently, it's a gorgeous spot. The land is close to the Bolivian wetlands, is situated near natural gas reserves, and sits atop one of the largest aquifers in the world, the Guarani indigenous water region. Part of the property has been designated an ecological reserve. And wow, they think of everything, it's close to the US Mariscal Estigarribia Military Base. The U.S. officially denies having troops there except for "exercises", and vigorously denies rumors of having its own base there.

Jenna Bush was sent on a "family mission" the first week of October '06 to seal the deal, accompanied by 10 security guards. She met the President of Paraguay and the U.S. Ambassador and "officially" traveled with UNICEF to see a few of their projects, a "strictly private" tour.

Apparently, Bush Sr. owns roughly 173,000 acres in the same area, although there are no confirmed reports. But, here is the strange part: none other than the Reverend Sun Myung Moon was the first to buy a huge chunk in 2000, in that very area. The Moonies have big plans: they want to develop ports, universities, an eco-tourism resort (will his an Bush's intersect?), and reinvigorate the timber trade to Asia. They are in Argentina already, but it seems they are branching out. And it seems like the Bushes followed him.

<snip>

__________________________________________________________________

It goes on to say the immunity was revoked under pressure, but maybe the RW echo chamber hasn't gotten the word out to their sheeple. I can just see all of these freepers swarming into Paraguay, guns & dogma at the ready, only to find that dear leader found a different bolt hole to avoid prosecution for war crimes.

:evilgrin:

[pipi_k]

69. I would imagine they'll all pile into the family limousine and

drive to one of those DECENT countries, with real rules and stuff...

Like North Korea

[JuniperLea]

27. The Freepers are leaving? Awesome!

Now that's what I call RAPTURE!!!

[Ilsa]

28. Employment Opportunity: We could escort freepers to the border. Ask

our government to pay us since it is likely they are too stupid to find their way out. The average IQ and "edjumacashun" level would swiftly double.

[XanaDUer]

29. Praytell, where are idiot freepers going to go?

Jerk offs.

[lonestarnot]

30. Who'd have the simple motherfuckers?

[pipi_k]

71. One suggestion...

someplace where they still practice cannibalism...

[SoCalDem]

31. Odd.. every request of birth certificates that we ever made,

were via US Mail...not UPS.. They came to us via certified mail..delivered by a postal worker..and the applications are at the USPS..not UPS..

Freeps are a rare breed, indeed..

[EFerrari]

33. Yep. n/t

[tnlefty]

37. That's what got me, too.

It really thinks that the company that handles this must be busy. :crazy:

[Hekate]

83. Same with my family. nt

[denverbill]

32. Haha. Good luck finding a more right-wing asylym than the US.

Columbia might be a possibility I guess.

And his 5 countries of choice, "Hong Kong, New Zealand, Singapore (probl’y not there, though), Ireland, Australia", don't they all have national health care? I'd be very surprised if their tax rates were lower, although with no defense spending to speak of maybe not. I'm sure most of them have gun control policies too though.

[DesertRat]

95. And most of them won't take everyone

Some of the countries mentioned expect you to have money and/or a job before you arrive. Freepers think that they (and their guns) are welcomed anywhere in the world they want to go. If they even had the $ to leave, they'd be in for a rude awakening. :rofl:

[Maeve]

97. Former British Empire and/or English-speaking seems a major criteria there

But the gun laws will shock him! And the tax rates...

[XanaDUer]

103. They ain't gonna like Ireland

national health, cops that draw ire if they shoot bank robbers (I know that cuz that happened when I was there) , no gun nuts,

Freepers, keep your asses out of Ireland!

[TygrBright]

35. So.... where are they planning this hegira TO?

Zimbabwe? Burma?

I mean...

What nation would take these losers IN?

curiously,
Bright

[hvn_nbr_2]

36. Love it or leave it, freepers.

But we'll probably all be happier if you leave it.

[Still Sensible]

38. I don't know what it is with UPS

but half the time when their trucks pull up in the afternoon they've got fucking Rush blaring on their radio. Is there a RW test you have to pass to work for UPS (I know they only do right turns).

[chollybocker]

40. Is that why they wear brown shirts?

[Chorophyll]

49. Good one! nt

[Bolo Boffin]

62. Weird. UPS is a huge union shop. n/t

[RobinA]

66. I Wanna Know

why his state is shipping BCs UPS. I got mine through the US Mail. Got my pass port that way too.

[Still Sensible]

70. I know, it drives me nuts. n/t

[honoluludaniel]

39. LOL, i got my BC the other day as a matter of fact.

Gotta have it on hand in case i need to move to a free market paradise like Uzbekistan.

[Iggo]

43. So they're gonna run?

Fuckin' pussies.

[Berry Cool]

44. Why do they need passports to escape the country if they think it's going to be so damn bad?

Weren't they going to be Raptured any day now?

Let 'em leave. More jobs for us...and we could sure use them.

[Fire1]

75. I'm with you, Berry! The sooner the better.

[madmom]

45. How does the UPS driver know what's in the envelope/package?

[depakid]

47. The major supplier of birth certificates by mail, VitalChek is on the envelope

So it's not quite that far fetched- though not sure where a freeper would go- Italy maybe? LOL.

[brooklynite]

46. Anyone else see the irony of a Freeper not having immediate access to a "Birth Certificate"?

[Fleshdancer]

50. ROFL!

Excellent point Brooklynite :thumbsup:

[cherish44]

53. HAHA I was thinking the same thing

nt

[stevedeshazer]

56. Excellent point.

I'm dying here.

:rofl:

[madmom]

68. I also thought of that, asked SO if he/she would get a copy or the REAL thing? LOL

[Occam Bandage]

78. And he's not even getting an original. Fraud!

[Dukkha]

52. Wait until they find out what real gun restrictions are!

[MineralMan]

57. One of the morons thought moving to Hong Kong

would be the idea. Hong Kong? Someone did point out that Hong Kong was part of the PRC, but that idea didn't seem to make a dent in the Freeper's impenetrable skull.

Hong Kong! Now, they'd welcome a bunch of uneducated Freepers as new immigrants, I'm sure.

Those people are so freaking stupid they don't realize that they're already living in the country that offers the most liberty of any on this planet. And yet...they're ready to leave because they lost an election.

Buncha morons.

[WolverineDG]

58. Of course more are being ordered

because we're so fucking scared of terrerists & illegals, as of July 1, you will need a passport (or passport card) just to go across the border for dinner. So those of us who live in the border areas are having to get passports. THANKS XENOPHOBES!

dg

[RobinA]

67. Also

For us old people. The BC we used to use, that issued by the hospital, is no longer any good. You have to have the government issued one now.

[MineralMan]

59. Passports and Child Support

From the State Department site:

"Section 51.70 (a) (8) of Title 22 of the Code of Federal Regulations states, in part, that if you are certified to Passport Services by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to be in arrears of child support payments in excess of $2,500, you are ineligible to receive a U.S. passport ."

Oopsie! For lots of Freepers, this will be the thing that keeps them from getting a passport at all. In dozens of threads, the rants against paying child support to their sluts of ex-wives demonstrate that they are in arrears already. A couple of these morons have admitted that they are hiding from child support. That's why they fight a national ID card, the updated driver's licenses, and other data-based identity stuff.

And now...they can't even get a passport. Hell...they might have to stay right here in the Communist States of America. Dayum!

[Betty]

63. I hope the freepers will leave in droves

every time one of them leaves, it will make this country just that much better a place to live.

[XanaDUer]

104. "Everytime a bell rings, a Freeper leaves the USA."

That's right, Zuzu.

[Incitatus]

64. Great! They can all move to newly liberated Iraq.

I'm sure once they explain they are diehard Bush supporters and fully supported their liberation, they would be welcomed with open arms.

[tsuki]

72. Where are they going? What country is more Conservative? Saudi Arabia?

[varelse]

76. Estonia

apparently, it's the new Free Republic haven.

Poland is not a free market paradise. They have a mixed economy, that is hampered by political infighting/coalition building. Most of the Polish immigrants to this country vote Dem too (unfotunately), per election returns in places like Wallington, NJ and certain nabes in Chicago.
Estonia has the freeset economy in eastern Europe.


posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 3:00:27 PM by Clemenza (Red is the Color of Virility, Blue is the Color of Impotence)

[stevedeshazer]

85. 'Estonia has the freeset economy in eastern Europe.'

Beautiful.

Aside from the obvious typo, since when did eastern Europe become a vacation destination for Freepers?

[tsuki]

88. Estonia? I can't wait. Is there a fund I can contribute to? eoq

[mwb970]

96. Apparently, the Dominican Republic is one possibility.

I assume that's what this FR poster means by "DR":

You’re not alone brother. The wife and I are looking into the DR. We will not live in a socialist state.

Actually, "the DR" sounds like a good match for wingnuts, based on its recent political history:

Politics of the Dominican Republic (Wikipedia)

The Dominican Republic has a multi-party political system with national elections every four years. In two rounds of presidential elections in 1996, nearly 80% of eligible Dominican voters went to the polls. The leading parties in 1994 were the PRSC, linked to the International Christian Democratic political movement, whose candidate was President Joaquín Balaguer; the PRD, affiliated with the Socialist International, whose candidate was José Francisco Peña Gómez; and the Dominican Liberation Party (PLD), whose candidate was former President Juan Bosch.

In the 1994 elections, international observers noted many irregularities in the voter lists, and the opposition PRD immediately charged the Central Electoral Board and the PRSC with fraud. A Verification Commission appointed by the Central Electoral Board, however, did not accept the PRD's charges. By all estimates, total disenfranchised voters far exceeded the 22,281-vote margin of victory in favor of President Balaguer on 2 August 1994.

[tsuki]

98. Election fraud. Sounds like their kind of place. nt

[janx]

73. Guys, while I might mock a freeper trip to yell and rant at Specter,

it's not a good thing to get a laugh out of ignorance.

[burning rain]

74. A Pug who's never had a passport. How deeply surprising.

^

[Occam Bandage]

77. Where do they think they'll be going with their guns and passports?

I can understand the guns, if you think society will collapse and you'll be living in some post-apocalyptic wasteland. I can understand the passports, if you plan on leaving the country. What's with both?

[Hekate]

79. They really and truly were not paying attention to the gutting of our Bill of Rights, were they?

Boy oh boy is TSA ever going to be a surprise for them if they actually try to leave the USA. I want to watch that when it happens. :eyes: :evilgrin: :nopity: :rofl:

Hekate

[booley]

80. He needed to special order his birth certificate?!

There's a special company that does it?

I just went to City Hall, said which city I was born in, showed my Driver's license and paid my ten bucks.

where does this guy live?

[rufus dog]

81. Don't worry, he will make it, including his guns

He thinks New Mexico is a foreign Country.

[yodoobo]

82. LOL. what a bunch of nutcases

they are actually talking about leaving the country, simply because their guy didn't win.

Did it never occur to them, that if the President really were as evil as they claim, that they would not be allowed to leave?

These nutcases are so dumb, they probably wouldn't know their way around an airport anyway.

What a bunch of loons!

[mwb970]

90. "Love it or leave it."

We heard that a lot in the 60s when we protested the Vietnam War. I guess the travelin' shoe is on the other foot now, eh?

I can think of no single event that could boost America's prospects farther or faster than the sudden exit of all of our right-wing wackos. Rapture or runaway, I don't care. Just so they go!

[Orsino]

92. Freepers are action heroes in the movies in their minds.

"Wolverines!"

[Arugula Latte]

99. Love it or leave it, Freeps.

Love it or leave it.

[margotb822]

100. I love that they talk about leaving, but

never indicate what "free country" they intend to flee to. Certainly not Canada, nowhere in Western Europe. Eastern Europe is probably too close to Russia for them. Russia, China, and all of Asia is out of the question (too hot, too many muslims, too close to Nam, whatever). Australia and New Zealand might as well be Western Europe. Obviously not Iraq or anywhere else in the Middle East (again, too many muslims and terrorists). So, Africa? Well, except that Norther Africa is pretty much the Middle East and Sub-Saharan Africa is war-torn and AIDS-ridden. That only leaves Latin America, which we all know is filled with commies, Nazis and drug lords.


SO WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY PROPOSE TO GO???

[Jim__]

101. I can go over and help 'em pack - n/t