Rebuttal to RW e-mail....

[catnhatnh]

Earlier a DUer posted one and wanted a reply because "reply to all" would hit about 300 morons. That seemed a worthy goal to me, so I took the original about chickens baking bread and other animals demanding a share. Here's my cut n' paste Slash n' burn....Will add link to original shortly...

The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have cake to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the goose.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.
'I'm' busy' said the cow.
'Me too!' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the cake.
'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.
'I couldn't bear to watch.' said the pig.
'I'm busy' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.
She baked five cakes and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'
'Horseshit!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
'Capitalist leech!' screamed the goose. (Barbara Boxer)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'
'But I earned the cake,' said the little red hen.
'Actually you earned a share of it' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations The resources of the earth are protected and all productive workers have rights.' He continued 'You never owned the land you planted on and the seed for your crop was stolen from the farm. You fertilized the crop with shit from the horse...."

'See that's just what I was complaining' about said the cow.

'Quiet' the farmer said, 'your stepping on my lines' and then he continued 'Chicken, you earned a share by the labor you gave to the process but claim all the product is yours. But look again...when you made the cakes you added milk from the cow,eggs from the goose, and shortening rendered from the pigs Dad...from his estate taxes if you will. It seems the three you deemed worthless were in in their own way productive members of our little "cooperative". You used an oven you didn't build and firewood you neither grew nor chopped. In short you acted like a republican and we have a way to correct that here"

Before the chicken could protest the farmer slit it's throat and dismembered it. Then he organized a party. The cow brought buttermilk to soak the dismembered chicken in. The goose contributed eggs for a wash and the pig the balance of his rendered Dad. The farmer contributed the firewood, breadcrumbs, and a cast iron skillet. Everyone helped out where they could.

That night they all feasted on fried chicken and cake.The farmer said he usually tried to act in a bipartisan manner but sometimes republicans won't shut up and you have to show them who is running the farm.

And they all lived happily ever after, except the little red hen, and the farmer who preferred pie.

And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.


Edited to add link: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5032267

[Gold Metal Flake]

1. Kay and Arrrrr.

[BlueJazz]

2. Good...I never liked Republican Chickens anyway.

[Aviation Pro]

3. To the greatest page with you.....

...I never could stand that bullshit story. Every Scamway droid tells it and has this smug look of satisfaction on their fucking faces when doing so.

[Chulanowa]

4. Who the hell uses lard in their bread? Ugh

Just saying. :D

[wryter2000]

5. Actually, no one

Bread is usually yeast, flour, salt, and water. Some recipes call for some milk and butter, but no eggs.

Whatever, it's a great story, and freepers are too dumb to know the difference. I'm saving this for future use.

:applause: OP!

[DCKit]

7. Lard is used for "soft" breads. The kind my Mom's been baking for 35 years....

and the (delicious) rolls a friend makes.

However, I'll agree, the best bread is made with yeast, water, flour and salt, a talented hand, patience and a good oven.

[DCKit]

6. Was the little hen baking bread or cakes? I'm confuded.

Somebody needs to have their meds adjusted - chickens can't bake, animals don't talk and it takes intelligence to write a parable.

[catnhatnh]

8. Go and take whatever....

you knead to chill out. The piece was satire and posted in GD, not a recipe posted in cooking and baking...but if you ask nice maybe the other goose will explain it...