India: Cow Urine Soft Drink, Gau Jal, To Be Launched As Coke Alternative

[babylonsister]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/11/india-cow-urine-soft-drin_n_165960.html


India: Cow Urine Soft Drink, Gau Jal, To Be Launched As Coke Alternative

Huffington Post | Jessica Gusman | February 11, 2009 10:04 AM


India's Hindu nationalist movement is working on creating a new soft drink to rival Coca-Cola and Pepsi. The main ingredient? Cow urine.

The Times Online explains the development of the beverage by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS):

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink - called "gau jal", or "cow water" - in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."

The Indian Express further reports on Parkash and the RSS planned "revolution":

Stating that several colas are harmful to the extent that they can be substituted for pesticides, he asserted that their soft drink with cow urine will not only be natural but cost-effective too. "In addition to this, it will prove and justify the high stature accorded to a cow in Indian culture."

Cow urine, in fact, ranks quite high on the RSS list of priorities. "We discuss its importance at various meetings and public programmes. We have also been circulating pamphlets about its medicinal value," said Om Prakash, who has been actively involved in the task of cow protection and promoting bovine urine for the last four decades.

[groovedaddy]

1. Why does this news really make me thirsty!?! n.t

[marmar]

2. Isn't it called Mountain Dew?

:silly:

In the interest of full disclosure, Mountain Dew is my favorite pop. (or soda, for those who don't hail from the Great Lakes region or Canada)

[BlooInBloo]

4. Beat me to it.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

3. Yes, when I have a healthy thirst to slake...

The first thing I think of is always cow urine. No, really. In my drinking days it was Coors Light, which is the same thing, only with carbonation.

[MrModerate]

5. Excuse me, but the purpose of urine in mammals is . . .

to flush away toxins. And this is not going to have any toxins in it? How does that work?

[TheCowsCameHome]

6. Great for Freepers trying to kick the Kool-Aid addiction.

[Skidmore]

7. Well, piss...

How do they collect this? Do they have people follow cows around waiting for them to pee? Or have they found a way to potty-train bovines?

[peekaloo]

8. Looks like Budweiser stole their marketing campaign with those "drinkability" ads.

will there be a diet version for people who want less piss?

[notadmblnd]

9. I can just see all those cows now.. hooked up to catheters

or will they use slave laborers to follow cows around and hold pails under them? I also wonder what they'll make and market for human consumption out of #2?

[BlooInBloo]

11. I hear it all came about when a guy was milking cows, and got a boy by mistake...

and wondered "why does this cow only have 1 teat?"

:rofl:

[BlueJazz]

10. I wonder how many People will be Mooooved to drink this stuff.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

12. Pisspi anyone? Or Peepspi?

[Solly Mack]

13. Talk about the "real" thing

holy water...

[tom_paine]

14. Our descendants may well need to learn to drink urine after the Greater Depression

and the Greater War that is to follow.

Since it seems (and yes, all of this is lots of speculation, and I am not SURE it will happen, but things are shaping up quite nicely as I predicted long ago) that global population reduction is required, the old methods are being dusted off.

And we are living through them, watching and scratching our heads as to why "people never learn".

Yeah, right. The funny part is, I think the Envornmentalists FINALLY GOT the Global Aristocracy to believe them about the collapsing environment.

What was the Global Aristocracy's answer? Why, that which worked before! Plunder the world's economies and make off with the loot, then Greater Depression and Greater War. Exhaust the peasants fighting each other, so they'll never think about hwo thereal enemy is.

THAT will take care of some of that pesky "surplus population" as Bushies have called it since time immemorial, until Dickens "A Christmas Carol" shamed them and forced them to use codewords.

I know it sounds far out, and I certainly hope it is bullshit argle-bargle myself. But every day, more circumstantial evidence comes in. We shall NEVER get 100% proof, not unless we storm the castles and break open all the files, as the Allies did after WWII or the East Germans did to the Stasi in the early 90s.

And THAT is never going to happen. Can't you tell? It's America's turn to "play the Nazis" in the next Great War upcoming.

God, I hope this is all :tinfoilhat: bullshit.

But I think there is an 80% chance it is so, it or something like it.

[pipi_k]

15. What's so odd about that?

We've all been drinking alligator piss for years, haven't we?








hee hee

[cobalt1999]

16. I'd drink it.

If I was stuck on lifeboat for a few days without any alternative.

I wonder what the cows will think of us drinking their piss?

[Somawas]

17. This should be a "bad news, good news" joke.

The bad news is that Coke and Pepsi are getting the competition.
The good news is that the competing product is made from cow pee.

[L0oniX]

18. It's Hindu holy water. Brand name it Holy Cow ...Mellow Yellow ...LimeLife ...HuskySnow

:evilgrin:

[pipi_k]

19. Bovine Blast, the "udder" soft drink

hee hee


actually I'm seeing some problems with this whole "lets sell cow urine" thing

how can they hope to make any money when it would be possible for people to sneak around behind cows and raise their tails for a delicious squirt right from the "fountain"?

[babylonsister]

21. Heh. I hope people aren't that gullible. I imagine the final product

will be pasturized, or whatever they're doing to urine these days. :D

[pipi_k]

25. bwahahahahah

some people think that milk straight from the cow's udder is great and perfectly "natural"...

why not urine?

OMG.... :rofl:

[mr blur]

20. Well, it couldn't taste any worse than Coke (nt)

[petronius]

22. In related news, Listerine announces a doubling of shipments to India

:)

[Gold Metal Flake]

23. Why?

Why?






































































FFS, Why???

[pipi_k]

26. I guess for the same reason

that there was a first human being who decided a big oval white thing that dropped out of a chicken's ass would make a tasty omelet...


:7

[Gold Metal Flake]

27. Proto-man may have watched a fox rob a chicken's nest...

...and copied it. Mmm. Hunger sated.

I seriously doubt that proto-man watched a fox or crow or anything at all that rushed over to catch a little golden shower when proto-Elsie let the waters flow.

Someone has been working on this for a while. You don't just crank up a urine-pop bidness on a weekend. What need are they satisfying? Is there a surge in Hollywood Knights tribute punch parties? Has Chuck Berry switched to a liquid diet? Is this just some way of draining the gutters of the "gifts" of the sacred cows?

Soilent Yellow?


























Seriously, why?

[moggie]

24. It'll still taste better than New Coke n/t

[Berry Cool]

28. Got your slogan right here

"Great Taste, More Voiding"