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My little Hannah is 7, and this is to just let her know how much a difference she has made in my life. I hope someday when she is much older she reads it.
14 Years ago I split with my X wife, I was 29.
Since then: 1. X wife has died 2. Mom died. Then her best friend and mom #2. 3. Lost my 3 boys and did not see or hear from them for 8 years 4. Kids found me, one is in the army shipping off to Afghanistan in a few months, youngest does not want to talk to me anymore, and my middle son has yet to talk to me. 5. I was with a woman I loved and wanted her to marry me, but she was much younger and wanted to wait. After several problems we split up and I met Your mom. My X girlfriend found out she was pregnant and wanted to marry me. Your half sister Willow is a good girl, but I don't see her - not until she is old enough to understand (and she lives 2200 miles away). I didn't want her to have the issues my boys did. 6. Best friend Scott Died. 7. Best friend Brady died. 8. I had a career, a house, car. All gone now 9. You mom found out she had Parkinson's and a brain cyst. 10. Your mom found someone else. Guess I can't say I blame her. 11. I used to see you everyday and night, now mostly on weekends. 12. So much more...
It has been one hit after another, and I have never been so depressed as I am now.
But then there is the one great hope and love I have in life.
You.
When we snuggle up at night with the dogs, I am happy. When we play games online and you tell people I am your dad, it makes me feel special.
When I am here alone and sad, the thought of knowing I can and hug you later makes me all better.
When I feel there is nothing left to hold on to, I remember when I was alone driving across country and I could not wait to see you - and I remember how I pushed myself to the limit to get to you faster, because your smile makes my life have a meaning it could not otherwise have.
You made a difference by just being yourself. You don't have to accomplish great things, buy me anything, or make me something.
You love me as I am.
On what feels like the worst valentines day in my life, I am online playing games with you and eating pizza with you - and I can think of no better way to spend this day then with you.
Someday I hope you know just how much you mean to me.
Your mom and I gave you life.
You have given it back a hundred fold.
Love Daddy.
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