I been wondering about something.

[Jackpine Radical]

When FR has a fund drive, I wonder what they might do that would be as popular as the little Valentine hearts are around here.

First I thought maybe they could give little hearts to each other just like we do, but then I remembered that there is no love there.

Then I thought maybe they could give each other little crosses or those little car-fish or something, but then I remembered that they're really not into giving of any kind, unless it's giving to the rich, who obviously deserve it because otherwise God wouldn't have made them rich.

So then I started wondering why they would put up money to support RimJob in any case, and the only answer I could come up with was Fear. If they didn't have FR, they wouldn't have any place where they could go to discuss whatever Rush told them to think, and that would be scary.

So then I thought maybe they could give each other little Dittos. But that wouldn't work either, because they wouldn't want anyone getting more Dittos than they had, so they'd want to keep all the Dittos for themselves. Aha! I thought. That's it. They could just BUY the little Dittos and keep them for themselves. It would be a sort of conspicuous consumption that they could practice without leaving the basement.

At this point I became torn. If I put this wonderful idea on DU, surely some troll would see it and take it back to FR, and I would be responsible for the sudden financial success of that snakepit.

But then I suddenly realized that if my Ditto plan goes as well as I'm sure it will, it will only hasten RimJob's acquisition of the Dittoheads' allowance money, and once they go broke, Rimjob can just grant himself a huge bonus of all the money they sent in, shut down the site, and retire to Dubai.

So here it is, folks--the DU post that is going to bring down FR once and for all.

[monmouth]

1. FReeperville's request for donations has been up for two weeks I'm

pretty sure, and I see little progress. Since I came on DU this morning, numbers are moving onward and upward. I am proud to say I was among them. Happy Valentine's Day all.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

2. We had a post on that last week.

From what I could tell they seem to use browbeating, harassment, and shame as their motivators. They probably wouldn't go for anything like our Valentines heart thing or pure voluntarism because cooperation is apparently a leftist value.

[Stevenmarc]

3. They could give them IQ points but then they would lose their base

[blm]

4. heheh....you nailed it down, JR.

.

[Turbineguy]

5. They could use cute little

assholes.

[havocmom]

8. and call it the "Pucker Up, Buttercup Fundraiser"?

:rofl:

[Thickasabrick]

12. LOL...that made my day

:)

[petronius]

6. IIRC, their fund drives are fear-based - their version of grovelbot is

'threatening' photos (scary to freepers, anyway) of Democrats with the message that the only way to prevent global Democratic dominion is to give money to rimmer. How that would help anyone beside the rimmer-clan is unspecified, of course...

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

7. A lot of Ex-Freepers...

Who have been intinately involved with the inner workings of FR have left and angrily so. They have told many tails of the FweepieVille handling of contributions and none of those tails were particularly about the high ethics and stern moral charicter of RimJob and his handling of funds.

Quite frankly, how that place has avoided the tender ministrations of the US and California tax authorities is surely a tale for the ages.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

9. They could do little oxycontin pills

Rates equalling $1 per mg.
A 10mg would get you ranger status; 160 = pioneer.

[cherish44]

10. As I've said before, with all they rake in, why not make their web site a little less 1995?

Surely there's a seventh grader out there who could do it for a reasonable price?

[cherish44]

11. Oh and I say instead of hearts, they'd probably like ammo of some type

Maybe little smoking bullet holes...can you just picture it? :crazy:

[rug]

13. They should give each other brains.

[Jackpine Radical]

14. "to each according to his need"

:rofl: