“Andrew Jackson Is Our Next Target,” Says Boehner

[20score]

After failing to convince the majority that the Republicans have the correct ideas for the country’s economic woes, John Boehner, in conjunction with other prominent Republicans, announced the new attack on Andrew Jackson. “It’s like this,” said John Boehner on the steps of the Capital Building. “In the early Bush years we blamed Clinton for everything. Then when people grew tired of that we blamed Carter; and recently we’ve started to pin our economic problems, plus the Great Depression on FDR. Well, the ‘Blame FDR’ campaign is not catching on with the general public.”

“So we are unrolling our new campaign to blame Andrew Jackson,” interrupted Senator Cornyn. “See, if it wasn’t for his anti-corporate views, this country would see that tax cuts are the only solution to our problems – that and letting corporations write the oversight laws.”

“It’s a well known fact that Jackson’s policies caused every depression in the last two hundred and fifty years," continued minority leader, Boehner. “We have to have more tax cuts and a much more favorable atmosphere for corporations. All of the Democrat’s ideas spring from Jackson! Now we do want to make one thing clear in the public’s mind - we are blaming Jackson for his economic policies - we have nothing against his Imperial President views, or nothing against the way he stole land from the American Indians.”

“Far from it!” yelled Cornyn. “We just learned our lesson from the past few years. Keep going back further in time to find a scapegoat, er ah, I mean, to find out who’s at fault.”

Rush Limbaugh, when reached for comment said, “Anyone who knows history, folks, knows this to be true.”

[Deja Q]

1. Is Boehner getting sexually excited over what he does for a living?

[FatDave]

19. (insert joke about sexually excited Boehner here)

[Kool Kitty]

24. Good God. A sexually excited Boehner.

I think that even trying to imagine that is the very definition of cruel and unusual punishment. Or mental torture. You choose.

[MrScorpio]

2. As someone who's 1/16th Cherokee, I'm not completely unsympathetic

But I feel that they won't go after Jackson for the right reasons

Anyone else in on the joke?

[Jazzgirl]

4. Oh dayum!

[soleft]

9. Not really a joke, Jackson was a genocidal maniac

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

3. It's really the Jesus' fault.

If He didn't preach so much against the wealthy, finding fulfillment through material goods and support just treatment of the marginalized we'd have a much more favorable atmosphere for corporations.

[punkin87]

5. Obviously! That hippie.

[20score]

18. I thought about blaming him. Too soon, though. Next post.

But, you're right. His fault.

[ihavenobias]

6. K & R, to the greatest!

:)

[Suich]

7. I was sitting here trying to figure out who

Andrew Jackson is (some governor or representative?).....:crazy:

Excellent job pointing out the hypocrisy, 20score!

:hi:

[20score]

13. Thanks Suich, you rock!

[TheKentuckian]

8. Screw Jackson

let them fight ghosts from 150 years ago that would be on their side as often as not or more.

[Drunken Irishman]

14. Meh, Jackson probably would have hated the modern day Republican Party.

Mostly because he hated greed and corporatism.

I'm not going to defend his actions as president, but I don't doubt Jackson would have kicked some Republican ass.

[kentuck]

10. Jackson would have kicked their asses or...

challenged them to a duel. He would have gotten their attention one way or the other...

[stray cat]

11. Why not attack King George - he made a good target a few hundred years ago

[Occam Bandage]

12. Jackson's opposition to the National Bank led directly to our current banking problems. nt

[pansypoo53219]

15. oooh, a debate duel

between obama and boner.

[Berry Cool]

16. Too funny!

K&R

[20score]

17. Thanks! Appreciated.

[bridgit]

20. Naw, it was that Jefferson Davis ninny head, that's the guy

[SammyWinstonJack]

21. !

:spray:

[20score]

23. What a cool smily guy.

Thanks.

[ThoughtCriminal]

22. Rue the Day!

[hfojvt]

25. I just don't understand why they would skip Wilson

League of Nations?
Federal Income Tax (1913)?
Federal Reserve System (1913)?
women's suffrage (1920)?
democratic election of senators (1913)?

What the heck does a guy got to do to get a little villification and disparagement?

[checks-n-balances]

26. Maybe because he had racist tendencies?

They wouldn't want to offend the very core of their base, don'cha know...

(BTW, thank you to the sweetheart who donated a valentine to honor me. I AM honored to receive it!)

[20score]

29. That was damned funny!

[Optical.Catalyst]

27. Satire works best if it is based in truth

I am a bit disturbed that while funny, this has way too much truth in it.

[Tennessee Gal]

28. They are going all the way back to Andrew Jackson?

The desperation is showing.