Any practical recommendations for a female deploying to Afghanistan?

[mahina]

My son's closest friend is graduating this spring and going into the Air Force. She expects to be deployed to Afghanistan shortly thereafter. She is a very beautiful Hawaiian girl, smart and funny and a true good heart- our best and brightest.

She is worried about the rapes she hears of. I'm worried for her too, and I treasure her. Needless to say, if she were my daughter, I'd have a few choice words. Serving our country is her heart's desire.

What resources- skills, methods, products, etc, are out there that you'd suggest she use to protect herself? Any DU vets, women and men, your comments are particularly appreciated. Thanks all, vet or not. Aloha.

[babylonsister]

1. Oy.

Cut her hair, gain 40 pounds, start smoking?

I don't have a lot of faith in women being protected in the military. :(

[seabeyond]

2. i laughed at your post, only cause it is true and so very sad.

i was thinking of one of those "claw" contraptions.....

what does this say.

[mahina]

8. When Code Pink protested at Ft. Shafter here for a woman who'd been raped by her senior officer,

there were SOOOO many honks and thumbs up from the military women. Unreal and unexpected. It's common knowledge.

[seabeyond]

11. F*, common knowledge. across the nation as we quietly ignore. n/t

[mahina]

23. Those ladies were loud, but we as a nation have been silent, true.

Oops.

[mahina]

50. Agreed 100% by the way,

beside that protest for LaVena Johnson, I don't think I read or heard a peep about the issue in the meanwhile, from anybody. I appreciate your responses. Didn't mean to diminish your point.

[seabeyond]

51. not at all

i giggled with it. but yes, one deonstration... in one location and yes, people know, they abhor, and we dont know what to do to MAKE it be addressed. like so many other issue today.

[roody]

77. Ms. Magazine has had some articles about

sexual harrassment, rape and murder of women in the military.

[Phoenix-Risen]

20. It says you have been brain washed somewhere

Many of our best and brightest public servants have been in the military. JFK and Jimmy Carter for starters. 17 million Americans were in the Armed Forces during WW2, they certainly weren't all baby killing, women raping animals.

I realize that you have to prove you "liberal" cred, but stick to bashing Walmart.

[seabeyond]

22. why are we talking ww2 when we are talking TODAYS military that has

excesssive rape without repercussion. maybe you ought to do some research. really not hard at all to find the information. though we keep it hushed across the nation, the info is out there

YOU are part of the problem.

[mahina]

29. Nobody here is bashing the military.

We are a military family. There are many, many Democrats in the military.

There's no need for you to be nasty.

I believe your argument is what is known as a red herring. Best of luck to you.

[Phoenix-Risen]

37. Now I call B.S.

Not to be nasty, but if you are a military family why wouldn't you ask your own family? Why post this question where you can be assured of an anti-military response from some people?

[seabeyond]

41. anti rape response. we have many military people and family here, we are REAL

supportive of our military members.

it is a realistic understanding of what is going on in the military with a real problem that is not being addressed because people prefer to ignore it.

not someone to pretend isnt happening because then it can never be addressed and will only continue to get worse.

kinda like not pretending the torture of people is happening because we dont want military to get a black eye because we would rather it be out in the open to address and solve.

tehn our military becomes stronger and better and respected

it is not an anti military board and dems arent anti military
i am anti rape

[mahina]

42. Because they are buried.

You really are an asshole. Goodbye.

[Ilsa]

34. I've been around mahina, seabeyond, and babylonsister for many

years on DU. Lots of wonderful, enlightening, and original posts have come from these posters. Greatest Page stuff. That's pretty spunky of you with your 63 posts to be questioning their commitment to liberalism.

[seabeyond]

39. wink...

thank you. that is nice

being female and having experienced rape.... i take it seriously.

my bad.

rollin eyes.

[Ilsa]

45. Me too. It's been 21 years, but it still enrages me that people don't take

rape seriously. Or pregnancy resulting from rape. Or any other problem, physical or emotional.

[seabeyond]

46. i am with you.

how many is that just on this thread. 4? what does that say. i mean....

[mahina]

40. Mahalo Ilsa.

Funny, sometimes anonymous boards don't really bring out the best in people. Sometimes folks jump to conclusions.

Anyway, nice to meet you!

[Ilsa]

47. Oh, howdy! I've seen plenty of your posts along with the others.

Yeah, people jump to conclusions. I just am particularly sensitive about anyone that is fairly new to this board, or any board, coming on and insinuating that a person who has been here for years isn't what they claim to be, in the case of this board, a liberal.

[mahina]

52. I'm frosted at the insinuation- no, outright statement, that there would be a lot of anti-military

posts here. Boy, that is one Fox meme that people really bought. How wrong can they be, wow.

[Missy Vixen]

53. Really? How do you explain the Naval officer I babysat for in high school?

This is one branch of the service, but I still haven't forgotten it.

Seniors in my high school class were besieged by military recruiters. I babysat for the guy and his wife on the weekends. I asked him what he'd say to someone who just wouldn't get off my back. He told me to ask the next Navy recruiter that trailed me out of the "commons" area of the high school what the percentage of women raped on a Navy base was per year.

The recruiter turned white as a sheet. What's more, he never spoke to me again. This was THIRTY YEARS AGO this year, and women are still being attacked by other soldiers and their superiors in the service? What's it going to take for it to stop?

[Ilsa]

66. My friend was assaulted at Tailhook in the early 1990s. She was faster

than him and probably as strong as him at that time and slammed him into the wall. But she was followed and harassed at every convention she attended before then and after. She felt fortunate that she wasn't gang-raped by HER FELLOW NAVY PILOTS (she was an officer, higher rank than the assholes trying to attack her). She spoke out and pretty well got blacklisted by those commanding her. She took early retirement shortly thereafter to finally end the harassment.

[SpiralHawk]

63. "I was never in the military. Sneer." - xVP Dickie 'Five Military Deferments' Cheney (R)

"Nor was I. Smirk."

- Rush 'Ass Pimple Deferment' Limbaugh (R)
- Trent Lott (R)
- Bill 'Loofah' O'Reilly (R)
- Glen 'Gucci-Loafers Deferment' Beck (R)
- Newtie 'Ditch Sick Wife Family Values' Gingrich (R)
- Sean Hannity (R)
- Sen. Mitch McConnell (R)
- House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-OH
- House Minority Whip Roy Blunt

etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum



"But I was, um, a real war, um, hero. Smirk."

- xCommander AWOL Bush (R)

[seabeyond]

64. exactly. dem smear of military? dem kerry, a true war hero attacked with lies

smeared and everything else. after 2004 repug attack on dems for their "disrespect" of military bullshit.... just flat out lies

i have no respect for the repug meme

[L0oniX]

71. Enjoy your stay here!

[mahina]

5. Edited to discuss protecting herself.

Point well taken.

[readmoreoften]

7. I don't get it. Will smoking, having short hair, and gaining weight get her out of the military?

Do you think that men rape women due to their "hotness" factor? I'm not sure I get it. But I agree, I have no faith in women being protected in the military.

[crikkett]

16. As a vet who was raped

I was targeted because I was cute.

[mahina]

25. So sorry Crickett.

((((hugs))))
I know what it feels like, not the military part but the rest of it. Aloha.

[crikkett]

69. Thanks

It happened a long time ago and I am okay. Looking back I'm amazed at the effect it had on my life, for many years. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[seabeyond]

27. .

i am sorry to hear about your experience. i like the info you gave down below.

[seabeyond]

28. dupe

[rvablue]

56. Oh...right...only cute petite women get raped....I forgot..........n/t

[crikkett]

68. I'm not petite, but the fact of the matter is that half all women are raped, if what

I was told is correct. Within and without the military.

Seems like you have some bitterness pent up. I responded directly to a specific comment.

[tech3149]

43. Don't forget personal hygene products

and a good supply of pepper spray. She might want to get a Taser and one of those Personal Touch thingies they advertise on TV all night long.

[The Straight Story]

3. A good question

One I am not worried about when it comes to my son, were my daughter going there...jeebus.

So much shit in the world today :(

[Phoenix-Risen]

4. I have a daughter starting college next fall

And I have heard that sexual assaults on a college campus are more frequent than in the military. What should I do?

[mahina]

6. Can't say I'd agree,

but I'd ask her to research and write a paper on binge drinking and sexual assault.
The risk of sexual assault when drunk is so much higher. Binge drinking is reported by 40% of college students, and of those, 70% report binge drinking more than once a week. (2006 data)

[Phoenix-Risen]

9. So, what don't you agree about? n/t

[seabeyond]

10. along with what mahina says, .... also, IF something happens to her, she has a lot more

chance of being listened to and something being done for her and getting away from the rapist than a gal in the military.

[Cid_B]

58. I disagree...

http://www.preventsexualassault.army.mil/

The military, especially in recent years, has taken a much stronger stance on sexual assault. The link above is honestly just the tip of the iceburg. There are multiple reporting options and a strong system in place to make sure it doesnt fall through the cracks.

[seabeyond]

62. that doesnt match the info out there. an easy google.

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oew-marshall30jan30,0,510658.story

Unfortunately, this mind-set is consistent with the Pentagon's very poor record of prosecuting sexual assault and rape within the ranks while at the same time disregarding and further victimizing those who report these heinous crimes. To put these cases in perspective, there were 2,947 reports of sexual assaults in the military in 2006, an increase in reports of 24% over 2005. However, very few of these cases tend to be prosecuted. A Pentagon report in March 2007 found that more than half of the investigations dating back to 2004 resulted in no action. When action was taken, only one third of the cases resulted in courts-martial.

Indeed, in many cases, the military seems more intent on intimidating and harassing the victims than investigating and prosecuting the charges. In 2004, after Lt. Jennifer Dyer reported being raped by a fellow officer at Camp Shelby, Miss., she said she was held in seclusion for three days, read her Miranda rights and threatened with criminal prosecution for filing a false report. After finally being given two weeks leave, she was threatened with prosecution for being AWOL when she would not report for duty to the same location where the man she had accused — who was later acquitted on assault charges — was still posted.

[peace13]

15. Tell her not to drink with the boys!

The same advice goes for the women in the military. Keep their brains clear at all times!

[mahina]

18. Hi, I can see how that was vague.

I don't agree that rapes on college campuses are more frequent than rapes in the military. There are problems with the stats on both, as rapes go unreported so often. I think the stats are probably useless for the military.

I have access to all the academic research that there is but at the moment I don't have the hour or so it would take to read the journal articles. Will check into it when I can.

Still, the best thing your daughter can do is manage her own alcohol consumption. There are programs in every school I've been to that will get you an escort from the library at night, etc. Not much out there for being passed out on a frathouse sofa. Just sayin, don't worry about college.

[Ilsa]

31. Have her take a rape prevention course that includes some self-defense.

Being prepared will help her manage her fear, and should an occasion arise, may help her think her way out of it to safety.

Also, teach her to listen to her intuition. Women really do have a sixth sense about things that don't seem right about the environment, and she should listen to it.

Gavin de Becker is a consultant on personal protection. He wrote The Gift of Fear, and has been a guest on Oprah with this book. He talked about statistics on what usually results from certain types of attacks, and when the best time to attempt to get away may be. Or how to talk your way out of it. He outlined some really good principles in this book. One point that I thought was good was that sometimes a person has to understand and accept that they may not be getting out of a situation without getting hurt. It helps removes the paralysis to act.

Understanding how violence happens will help her avoid it as much as possible and still have a good life while in college. Learning how to kick ass might help too.

[seabeyond]

35. good points. also open your own SEALED drinks and keep with you.

but i like the comment letting go of getting away pain free.

i had listened to someone say they get you in car and driving, dont go where they want, run into a pole, or another car or whatever.... on mainstreet. like that too

[NeedleCast]

12. I can't give any advice to avoid rape other than what I'd give any woman

try to avoid situations where she's the only female in a group.

The huge majority of soldiers I was stationed with in AF were good people who were, if anything, over-protective of women in combat situations.

Tell her to bring lots of extra socks.

[mahina]

19. Great advice, thanks!

So good to hear, mahalo.

[NeedleCast]

33. Mahalo to you

I'm not kidding about the socks either. Once sand is in your boots, which will be 3-5 seconds after her transportation lands, it'll start chewing up socks.

Other things that I know are still hard to get:
Sunscreen
Chapstick or lip balm
Foot or body powder (I know it's gross but "crotch rot" is an equal opportunity destroyer and it's good for keeping feet dry too).
Boot inserts (for those that don't know combat boots, these are like shoals pads for big, heavy boots)
Batteries of kinds
Baby wipes (good substitute for TP and good for cleaning yourself and your gear)
Pre-paid calling cards

[mahina]

36. The box I sent to a friend in Iraq came back here almost 5 months after I sent it.

It left in a square shape, but came home almost round. I took all the stuff in it to the shelter here, though I don't know how useful it was to them...cough drops, stationary, baby wipes, snack bars, chapstick. Never thought of socks. I'll leave the brownies out this time, I think that's why they refused it. Crazy deal.

We used to pack all kinds of great local goodies for my Dad when he was in Vietnam, including Primo beer and my grandma's cookies.

OK!

[NeedleCast]

44. Best thing to do is check online

for groups that regularly send the troops packages and get advice on how and where to send stuff from them. I know when I was in Afghanistan in 2001/2002 that where people were supposed to send thing to us changed about twice a week.

Cough drops are great. So are hard candies of any kind...takes the taste of sand out of the mouth at least and a good sugar burst is always appreciated. Do leave the brownies out...baked goods always cause a fuss and often (as packages tend to get banged around a lot) end up just getting all over everything. Chocolate (and anything that melts) can be bad as well. Another worry about baked goods is poison...all kinds of nuts in the world. Think as much "original packaging" as possible. The more safety seals it has on it, the better.

Don't send alcohol unless you are very good at being deceptive....which is to say that errr...water and vodka are the same color and if you put vodka in a water bottle...

[Zywiec]

24. Thanks for posting this

I agree with you that the majority of Airmen are good people. Sometimes people forget that.

:hi:

[sarge43]

70. What NeedleCast said.

I was the receiving end of harassment several times, but never physically threaten.

Practical advice: Cut hair very short, cotton underwear, stock up on sanitary supplies. Something to occupy down time - paperbacks, whatever. Don't start drinking, doping, whatever. It's tempting, but it's sucking around for a crash and burn.

And a :patriot: and bon chance to her.

[InvisibleTouch]

13. I'd recommend a good self-defense course...

...if she has time to fit it in before deployment.

[NeedleCast]

14. Basic training is a pretty good self-defense course

the problem is, everyone else got that course too.

[InvisibleTouch]

30. Yes, I'd imagine so...

...but if she can take a class specifically for women, geared toward defending oneself against a potential rapist, maybe including some basic martial arts moves, I think it's worth doing. I know there are classes like that; question is, if there is one available in her area and if she has time to complete the course.

On edit: Having that extra edge of confidence makes one a less likely target for attack, so in the ideal case she would never have to use her training. But it's good to have it.

[crikkett]

17. tell her to stay away from alcohol/drugs at all costs and use the buddy system

which means, don't go somewhere alone.

It also helps, if she hasn't chosen her MOS/whatever the AF calls 'jobs' to pick one that has a nice long schooling time. Then she'll be around smarter = less barbaric folk.

Furthermore, understand that the Air Force is really working on the rape problem. Or at least that's what the press says.

Good luck to her.
xo
me

[lonestarnot]

21. I think birth control glasses work pretty well.

:evilgrin:

[Control-Z]

26. My sister spent over a year

in the middle east. She carried a gun at all times. I don't know if everyone is authorized to carry a weapon like my sister did. She is older than the girl you are speaking about, and higher ranking, I'm sure. And I'm not sure how all that works. (especially since everything is a big military secret with my sister) But, if she has the option, tell her to take her gun with her everywhere she goes, including the shower, bathroom, mess hall, and any trips she may take outside her base.

[rvablue]

57. And how is a gun going to help if one of her superior officers tries to rape her? n/t

[Control-Z]

61. I'm just relaying information about how my sister

handled it. She's been in the military over 20 years, been all over the world including the middle east and it has worked for her.

You want to argue it? Geez. Be my guest. Some people will argue anything.

edit: typo

[Ilsa]

67. And it doesn't have to be superior officers. My friend was

harassed and molested, thankfully not raped, by junior officers. Ugly stuff.

[Wilber_Stool]

32. Get a small caliber hand gun.

.25 or .32 caliber should do it. Carry it every place she goes. If any one gives her a hard time, pop couple of rounds in his legs. That will take the libido right out of a guy. His friends too. There won't be any one there to protect you. You have to do it yourself.

[mahina]

38. Thanks, good advice.

Can she take her own gun? I'd get her one for her grad. present.

[Mr. Hyde]

48. Keep your weapon cleaned and oiled and within an arms reach at all times.

a nice bullet proof vest would be nice too and learn to love coffee. Caffeine is a life saver. Make sure you keep up with your equipment maintenance and never go outside the wire unprepared for heavy combat.

[babylonsister]

49. That's scary, but logical. nt

[nadinbrzezinski]

54. hmm things to take

women supplies...not shitting anybody here, they are ahem short in theater... on top of the usual crap, such as lip balm and foot powder

Find somebody to keep sending them as well REGULARLY

As to protection... find a group of fellow women to be with, and never, ever go to the bathroom alone, especially after dark

Oh and I am hoping that the services are under new management and will start taking this seriously

PM me when you have an APO... will gladly supply her with some of those things she will need... in a care package.

Oh and it goes without saying, keep your head low...and don't be a fucking hero

[shireen]

55. saw an interesting self-defense documentary on National Geographic

There are some very vulnerable parts of the human body that could disable an attacker long enough for the victim to get away
- press fingers into attacker's eyeballs
- using both hands, simultaneously hit the attacker on the ears. then using the edge of your hand, hit the attacker in the mid-neck.
- hit just above the groin area, where two sides of the front pelvic bones meet.

Link
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/series/fight-science/3049/Overview

I'm not an expert in self-defense, just reporting what i saw in the documentary. If there are self-defense experts reading this post, please comment on those techniques.

My best wishes and thoughts are with this young lady. Please thank her for me, for her service to our country.

[mahina]

59. Sure will do.

Aloha.

[bertman]

60. I'm going with the .25 or .32 caliber pistol. Her standard-issue rifle will be impossible

to get to in the event someone jumps her while she's sleeping; whereas, having a small pistol under the pillow or in a leg holster will allow her to do some quick damage and escape. Forget a knife because a large assailant could easily overpower her.

This whole discussion disgusts me in that it is even relevant in this day and time. Especially in the U.S. military and with women being an integral part of our military system.

There should be mass courts-martial conducted to root out any commander who has allowed this shit to happen on his/her watch. Leavenworth or drummed out. This is a disgrace.

I don't mean to sound like I am against this thread. Just the fact that it has to be brought up.

I hope this young woman never needs to use any weapon against her fellow comrades-in-arms.

[L0oniX]

72. Military standard issue Smith and Wesson M&P 9 will do.

[bertman]

74. Cool. How large is the M&P 9 compared to a .25 or .32?

[L0oniX]

75. Smith Wesson M&P9 has 4.25" barrel. 9mm is the most widely used ammo. It has a double action trigger

...which is a safety feature. Comes with a 17 round clip as standard. I own one and it will shoot any 9mm brand with out jamming. If someone is about to take it from you you can hit the clip release button and it will not fire with one in the chamber which is a good reason why some police officers use it. A double action trigger mean you have to pull it all the way back to fire which makes it safer to carry in a pocket holster, it won't accidentally go off if the trigger is bumped unlike a Glock 17. It will also take +P ammo which in hollow point form will take down anyone. With a full clip it has a relatively modest recoil. I have no problem keeping it on target at 40'.

[bertman]

78. Thank you for the review. I like the safety features. This does sound like a good choice

for the young woman.

[L0oniX]

76. Forgot to mention that the M&P 9 comes with 3 pistol grip insert sizes ...

and the small grip one is what the wife likes the best. It's an unusual feature and nice that you can change the grip to what ever size feels the best.

[chimpyisstillsatan]

65. the underground railroad

www.warresistors.ca

[ipfilter]

73. Couple of questions.

Is it too late to talk her out of joining? Why is she so sure she will get deployed to Afghanistan?