My solution to the Chimp story/keeping celebrity chimps in captivity problem

[HamdenRice]

The deadly chimp was a celebrity chimp having appeared on tv programs and in commercials. For better or worse, our society has an economic demand for chimps, which means people who have to keep them in captivity.

The problem is that chimps are aggressive by nature and do not fully fit in to human society.

The solution: change the "nature" of some population of chimps, and use those chimps for the purposes our civilization requires.

And the fastest way to change chimp "nature" is through breeding. Selective breeding toward domestication is too slow given the long childhoods and life span of chimps.

The only way to rapidly breed domestic chimps is through hybridization -- cross breeding -- and that would mean hybridization with the most domestic of all primates, the human being.

Humanzees would solve many of our problems. Female chimps could be impregnated with human sperm on a large scale. Within a few years we would have an large population of humanzees to appear in television commercials. Depending on the intelligence and trainability of humanzees, and whether they retain their superhuman strength, we might even have a population that could do some of the more strenuous, dangerous and dirty work -- such as farm labor, mining and arctic crab fishing.

As Bart Simpson has said, I want my monkey man!






































:sarcasm:

[jobycom]

1. Bad idea. The republicans would start electing them. nt

[HamdenRice]

2. And those that don't get elected would vote repug nt

[jobycom]

4. I've seen that movie.

It was either called "Planet of the Apes" or "The Election of 2000," I forget which.

[HillbillyBob]

3. It has been tried by Russia in the 40s during the rule of Stalin,I believe it was.

Besides I have met a lot of humans that would not really be considered domesticated.

[damntexdem]

5. NO. bad idea, already tried.

And then they appointed one president for eight years!