Surrendered UBS Records Yield Many Surprises

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(Satire)

Hoffa, War Loot, Missing Records Among Contents of Swiss Vaults

A little known clause in the agreement reached Tuesday between Swiss banking giant UBS and U.S. prosecutors is already “yielding a treasure trove of unexpected information,” according to a Justice Department source.

The provision, which calls for UBS to provide an inventory of items from American-rented ‘orphan boxes’ - safe deposit boxes that have either been abandoned or the rightful owners of their contents cannot be located - was intended to provide possible additional revenue from assets that have long been hidden overseas to evade American taxes. Instead, it has opened a virtual Pandora’s box of scandal and intrigue.

“The days of making something ‘disappear’ by putting it in a Swiss bank are over,” said Larry D. Mapp, a senior Justice Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity. “From now on, criminals are going to have to go back to keeping two sets of books or dumping in the oceans, where things might one day be found.”

Mr. Mapp added that the government “will soon be in possession of property and evidence that will go a long way toward closing many old cases at the same time as opening up many new ones.”

The extensive inventory lists a broad range of items, such as:

See rest of story at: http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/surrendered-ubs-records-yield-many-surprises/

[Kittycat]

1. I wonder how many people read the link?

:rofl:

[drm604]

2. Pretty funny, huh?

:rofl:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I went to the link and would encourage others to do so too

Pretty funny! Wonder if they really will find anything of interest?

[RC]

4. It'd be really neat if they found some of that stuff there.

[JFN1]

5. Some of this sounds a little far fetched...

There's no link in the article to back up the information, either...should I believe it, or should I...snark!!!!!

[librechik]

7. They also found Dick Cheney's original heart

with replacement batteries.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

11. LOL...

thanks so much!

It's always been a concern -- is it me or them -- about how many people don't realize what I post is satire...

as much as "the other side" comes out with ridiculous shit...

[FarLeftRage]

6. Damn! I was hoping they'd find the Gemstone File...

For those who want more info...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gemstone_File

[Are_grits_groceries]

8. Where's Amelia Earhart & Fred Noonan?? nt

[Selatius]

9. They found the second .22 revolver used in the killing of RFK? What an odd find. nt

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

13. FYI...

A check of the California state archives website reveals a minimum of 10 bullets entered into evidence (recovered from victims and crime scene) at Sirhan Sirhan's trial...

His Iver-Johnson .22 held 8 rounds, and video shows he had no chance to reload.

I'm hardly a 'conspiracy theorist', but this one looks like conspiracy fact...

[myrna minx]

10. So much for Larry D. Mapp's "condition of anonymity."

:shrug:

They also contained Jack the Ripper's autobiography. :rofl:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

12. To find the anonymous

Larry D. Mapp, check out: http://www.ucscopy.com

[defendandprotect]

14. I'm not sure secret Swiss Bank accounts are over . . . but I am sure

that they are a threat to democracy.

“The days of making something ‘disappear’ by putting it in a Swiss bank are over,” said Larry D. Mapp, a senior Justice Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity. “From now on, criminals are going to have to go back to keeping two sets of books or dumping in the oceans, where things might one day be found.”

Quite some time back -- in the days of Sarah McClendon and a Rep. whose name I can't

recall right now -- there was a rumor that some retired CIA agents were investigating

Swiss account, perhaps by some illegal means/? ..... and that they were tracking the

acounts back to Congress members who were storing drug money. Supposedly, they were

presenting these guys with the files detailing their corruption and forcing them to

move on.

But even without specifics, clearly these accounts are a danger for us all.

[Matariki]

15. Wow. How could you stop right before THIS sentence!?:

Many boxes purported to contain cremated human remains, including one labeled ‘J. Hoffa’

[Matariki]

16. Oh, haha, or this:

A jar containing a preserved human heart, labeled ‘If found, please return to Richard B. Cheney’

(it started out SO promising. sigh)