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Wall Street Experts & Bankers have a plan for your future
That comfy well-paying job you still have or may have recently lost, or fear losing, is no problem to worry your pretty mind over anymore.
You need Re-training™ for the " NEW Service Economy™" .
Yes, that's right, folks. That degree that you slaved to get, and are still paying for 15 years later, may no longer be part of the globalization plan. It just is not practical or profitable anymore..
Outsourced jobs are just a fact of life in the New Age™ .. it's nothing personal.
You may start salivating when you see ads for Fancy Feast on tv, but don't worry, the Chinese assure us they have removed the melamine.
The beauty of the plan is that while you are "Re-training™" you use your Visa and or Master Card to make that house payment, car payment and other bills (until they reduce the limit to $500.00, or cancel it).
When you are though with your Re-training™ , you can sell that house to the many entrepreneurs who will be eagerly buying up houses in this bargain-housing extravaganza. Maybe one of them will even hire you to distribute flyers to other soon-to-be sellers.. In a NEW Service Economy™ there are many ways to make money.
If you give him/her a good enough "deal" on your former house, you might even be able to rent it, and never again have to worry about the upkeep on it. It's a win-win.
The job you originally trained for may have come with a health care benefits program and some paid vacation, but surely your "new career" as a "sub-service worker" will afford you adventurous living like you've never experienced before.
Multiple part time jobs offer you the opportunity to get to know a wide variety of new people, and the experience of learning how MANY businesses do their business. It will definitely cut down on the old one-job/one-career stagnation that so many Americans have suffered from for far too long.
You may have the opportunity to learn to cook..(and, in some restaurants they even give you a discount on food for your break), or to make reservations to exciting destinations.... or to discover the inner workings of a developing child's mind and personality, as you do daycare,....or you could become an environmentalist as you carefully test automobile emissions...you could bridge the generation gap while you tend to the needs of the Greatest Generation™ ..(imagine the stories they will tell you as you change their diapers/bedding)
Like to work outdoors? The NEW Service Economy™ offers you opportunities too...School children will always need to cross streets carefully... commune with nature as you do leaf removal...cars need TLC too, and that cool water on a hot day feels pretty good... Lawn care is a highly sought-after job, and by taking one, you are doing your part in "Border Security™"..(Every anglo who washes cars & does lawns, eliminates the need for a guest worker to come here for that job)
Fruits & vegetables are good for you, and as a fruit extraction engineer, you will have easy access to many nutritious foods, all day long.(be sure and wipe them off before you eat them as you pick them, though)
Even our former-president values manual labor, and he works in the great outdoors, cutting brush, as often as his busy schedule allows.
This is an opportunity... a challenge..a widening vista.. It's an adventure..so embrace it without fear.
Money is the root of all evil™, and downsizing is good for the soul. That big house you used to fret about, and struggle to keep the lawn mowed, and to keep the house maintained..? well fear not.. A nice tidy, personal-sized apartment is the wave of the future. You will be on the cutting edge of the "new way forward".
No more need for those wasteful gym memberships.. Take an apartment on the 3rd floor.. Who needs a Stair-master™ when you can climb those stairs for free? (add groceries and/or laundry, and think of the pounds you will lose)..
An apartment also has other advantages.. It will encourage those obnoxious kids to finally move out on their own. They can surely find a service job , and an apartment of their own.
Younger kids will thank you, since they will now get the opportunity to really get to know their siblings, by sharing a room, and by spending quality sibling-time as they prepare meals together and wait for you to come home from one of your jobs. They will be so happy to see you, and will hang on your every word, as you recount the vivid experiences of your day.
Apartments also are often conveniently located near medical services. When you look for your apartment, be sure to look for signs that advertise their services. They often say "Clinica Familia"..
Which brings me to the best part. Diversity.. You too can experience the excitement of living abroad as you downsize.. WITHOUT EVER HAVING TO LEAVE THE GOOD OLE US of A.
It's a well-known fact that the most recent immigrants to our country , tend to cluster in apartment-zones, so you can even learn a foreign language, and never have to pay high prices for those Berlitz™ tapes..
Apartments are also usually located near bus routes, so you can get rid of that pesky car, too. Your new service job providers will be happy to work with you to accommodate your new exciting schedule.
The transformation to the NEW Service Economization of America™ will be like nothing we have ever seen before, and you will be a pioneer on the brink of the future..
The New Sub-Middle Class™ is lean, and fit, and hungry for the New Success™ that awaits them.
Congratulations!.. You've earned it
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