House Republicans to Boycott Obama Address (and other news)

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(Satire from http://www.TheDesperateBlogger.com)


Tuesday’s News in Brief

Global Warming Monitor Causes Ecological Disaster
A $278 million NASA satellite designed to monitor global carbon dioxide levels failed to reach orbit after lifting off from Vandenberg Air Force Base in California this morning, crashing into the ocean near Antarcica. The crash reportedly set adrift a large chunk of polar ice and released countless chemicals and toxins into the previously pristine local environment.

GOP Senators Bash ‘Liberal Media’
Telling reporters, “Anyone who knows what a supply and demand curve looks like can see they’re lying to us,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, speaking on behalf of the Republican caucus, challenged the veracity of what he called the “Obama worshipping media” for publishing what he called, “an economically impossible scenario”. The statement was in response to reports released this morning showing that home prices are falling at the same time homelessness is rising.

Rove Charged With Contempt of Congress
Saying, “As long as it’s still open, Guantanamo might be an appropriate place for him,” House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers today sent a ‘resolution of contempt’ to the floor of the House following former Bush Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove’s failure to answer the Committee’s subpoena to testify under oath about his role in the firing of U.S. attorneys and prosecution of the former Democratic governor of Alabama.

House Republicans to Boycott Obama Address
Citing security measures he described as “discriminatory profiling of the worst kind,” House Minority Leader John Boehner called on Congressional Republicans to boycott tonight’s joint-session Presidential address. The Secret Service reportedly will require GOP Congressmen, none of whom voted for either the House or final version of the Economic Recovery Act, to remove their shoes before entering the chamber.

AIG Requests More Bailout Assistance
The struggling financial giant, which is expected to report a quarterly loss as high as $60 billion this week, is asking for government loan guarantees to assist its launch into what company executives believe will provide a solid foundation for its recovery - expansion into the lucrative market of insuring Chinese agricultural and food exports.

(Take poll on Rove punishment at: http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/24/tuesday%E2%80%99s-news-in-brief/)

[Journeyman]

1. Bookmarked. . .

I have a feeling the comments to this thread may be more entertaining than the linked article.

Great user name, by the way. So many here have difficulty seeing that without a Smilie to guide them.



Edit: typo

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

3. Thanks...

Actually, it is the linked article in it's entirety...

[TahitiNut]

2. It's refreshing to see Congress adopt Japanese customs.

I hadn't heretofore heard that the House chamber had been fitted with tatami mats, but I think that's a good idea.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

4. Now if only some of the losers

would consider seppuku...

[TahitiNut]

5. The gutless just can't hack it.

So to speak. :silly:

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

7. incredibly well said... n/t

[demigoddess]

6. is this the republican equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and singing "La la la la?

or is this how they honor the office of president

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

8. no, that was the stimulus plan... n/t