Living in her truck

[undeterred]

About a month ago a woman I run into occasionally at the dog park asked me if I could lend her gas money. We had spoken before, but I didn't know her first name. She told me she had recently been robbed and wouldn't have cash until her disability check came in. I obliged and we exchanged phone numbers so she could arrange to pay me back. She is a nurse and has two dogs.

Occasionally I've seen her truck around town, and the back of it is filled with garbage bags. I've seen her often at the parks and at the food pantry where I go.

Today I ran into her and she apologized for not paying me back. I asked her where she was staying, and she said she was living in her truck. I told her not to worry about paying me back, but she said she would. She didn't want me to feel sorry for her. I asked if she had somewhere warm to sleep at night and she said her truck is warm. And she has the dogs. She said the biggest problem is finding a place to park where the police don't bother you.

She found a 24 hour gas station where they let her park, and she comes in to mop the floors in the middle of the night. Then she gets to fill her truck up with gas and use the rest room to clean up.

Its been a very cold winter here with subzero temperatures at night. She can't take her dogs into a womens shelter. So she and the dogs are basically outside 24 hours a day. She goes to the food pantry, but much of the food you get there has to be heated up or otherwise prepared. And they occasionally have dog food, but its not a lot.

So she is outside all the time. No address. A cell phone that she charges in the truck. All her "stuff" is with her all the time, and if she leaves it, it might get stolen. She cleans up and gets dressed in public restrooms. To get a shower she has to rent a motel room. She depends on the kindness of strangers or people who she doesn't know very well. Her biggest fear is losing her vehicle.

She has a profession and she isn't crazy. She told me she could rent if she wanted to. But she can't afford to pay me back yet.

She didn't mention her living situation until I asked. I feel bad that she is living like this as are a lot of other people.

[babylonsister]

1. She's a nurse? Is she working?

HAving asked, it's still a horrid situation. I imagine there are many like her out there. :(

[undeterred]

2. She's not working- she's collecting disability.

I don't know the details and I am not one to pry. But it would be pretty hard to hold down a nursing job in this situation. It would be hard to get enough sleep.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

which is probably a fraction of what she earned as a nurse

My husband collects SSD, which amounts to a monthly check about equal to one and a half week's pay at his old job. Not enough to make ends meet. We see patients at our clinic on disability who are living in their cars. Sadly, this is not rare.

[Booster]

22. If she did get a job I would imagine worrying about the dogs

would be really hard on her. It's sad, but I imagine she would be better off without them, although I would do exactly what she is doing. Let us know if we can help in any way.

[midnight]

19. It is an odd thing. Here in Milwaukee they have cut nurses at

area hospitals. They say we are having a nursing shortage. They import many via the visa program, and they lay off nurses, cut hours, and or in some instance don't pay. It is a crazy state of affairs. The wages and labor division in Wisconsin has been slow in addressing this issue.

[TBF]

3. K&R n/t

[BostonMa]

4. how do you know she's not "crazy"? On disability, and so on

[Why Syzygy]

8. The first thing that comes to mind

when someone mentions "disability" is "crazy"? What does that make you?

[BostonMa]

14. No it's not. The OP diagnosed her though. I would tell the lady I insist she keeps the money

She made a point to say the woman is "not crazy", many people have mental health disabilities it should not be a stigma.

[Why Syzygy]

16. Even those with

mental diagnosis are more sane than the wall street bankers, and what nots who claim to the be "sane" ones of society.

[undeterred]

15. Because I've had some long conversations with her.

I offered that because the stereotype of homeless people is mentally ill.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. Working poor

there is a lot of this around. Maybe Obama will get some money to programs to help folks like this find housing.

[Why Syzygy]

6. If you see her again ..

Cracker Barrel restaurants and 24 hour WalMarts usually will have a parking area for RVs. I don't know why they wouldn't allow a truck as well. When I thought my next stop would be living in my car, I scouted out some 24 hour business, where a parked car would not be noticeable. Also, some towns have senior citizen rec centers, which have swimming pools, etc. They have showers. There's a nominal charge for non-seniors. Good on ya for helping her.

[undeterred]

12. Good to know.

[Donnachaidh]

7. uhh, she said she was on disability.

"She has a profession and she isn't crazy." Kinda hard to collect disability and work.

[undeterred]

10. Another person I know on disability gets $1300/month

and pays $400/month for health insurance, $400/month to share a house with someone. Its not a lot of money.

[Demobrat]

9. If she could rent why doesn't she?

Not judging - just curious.

[undeterred]

11. I think she was just saying that

She didn't want me to feel sorry for her.

[Demobrat]

13. Oh I see.

I thought maybe she couldn't find a place that would accept her dogs.

[undeterred]

17. Well, its not easy for someone with a dog to rent.

And with two dogs it would be even harder. Landlords want an extra deposit for the dogs.

[Demobrat]

18. Most apartment buildings won't even allow them.

I'd love a dog but it's hard enough to find housing for just me.

[Tashca]

20. I can't even imagine that

I see your from Wisconsin so I assume that is where you are talking about.
I can't even imagine trying to live in a vehicle in those conditions. Heck living in a house in Iowa sucks sometime this time of year. Maybe a person can condition themselves???....That's hard to believe. This winter has had many nights of sub-zero weather.

I understand people's attachment to their animals, but this has to be so hard on both her and her dogs.......

I don't even know what to say. I really suspect many people have no idea what Wisconsin is like in the winter....I'm not sure I could survive.

[undeterred]

21. Yes I am from WI

She grew up in a very cold place (North Dakota) and says the cold doesn't bother her much. I think you have to be pretty tough/strong to get through this kind of situation without getting depressed.

I would try to find someone to foster my dog until I could get back on my feet again. There are people who do stuff like that. Easier to find someone to temporarily shelter a dog than a human.

[Tashca]

25. I think your solution sounds best

North Dakota....your right, that would be colder. And yes she must be one tough individual.

I like your solution of finding someone she trusts to care for the dogs. Then maybe she could take care of herself. I can't imagine how she is getting enough calories to withstand the cold she is enduring. She needs to have a warm place to sleep ...at least.

[undeterred]

28. I know a woman who fostered a dog for a soldier

who was going to Afghanistan. There is an organization which matches up people with military who need someone to take care of their dogs. She didn't know him before the arrangement, but they wrote to each other and when he finished his deployment they married!

I would have a hard time letting go of my dog but he would be easy to place, and it would make it easier to be safe and get back on my feet without him. I think its just emotionally hard for people to do that.

I think this person is just doing the best she can. Since she does have an income, she should be able to get into a roommate situation eventually. But it must be rough.

[Massacure]

29. I cannot imagine living in a vehicle in Wisconsin.

As a college student, I sometimes have an hour or two break between classes, but I don't like going home since I live a half hour from campus. If I'm burning the midnight oil or even just bored I'll go out to my car and take a nap. I even keep a wool blanket, a pillow, and a battery operated alarm clock in the back seat. :D If it is sunny out I'm fine down into single digit temperatures, but if it is cloudy, even the upper 30's can be pretty uncomfortable. I won't run my engine just to make my car warm enough for a nap though. Gas is too expensive, and I'm to much of a tree hugger to do that. :evilgrin:

[Catherine Vincent]

23. Did she say if she had family around? nt

[undeterred]

24. Her mom is still living but not in the area.

[Warpy]

26. She probably can't find a place to rent that allows the dogs

which is really, really sad. She's probably also not working if she's getting a disability check. I'm thinking she's got it together enough to have either a direct deposit to a bank account or a rented PO box, thank goodness for that.

Living on the streets like that will take its toll, though.

I'd be very tempted to get her a 25# bag of dog kibble, I'll bet she'd appreciate that. Other than that, I'd just ask her what she needs and try to get it for her.

As for stuff from the food pantry, you'd be surprised what you can warm up on a hot engine block. I figured that one out driving cross country when the last thing I wanted was fast food. A lot of things are also not bad cold out of the can, like baked beans and the dreck from Chef Boyardee. I found that out when I was a hippie.

It sounds like she's got a routine and knows how to meet most of her needs. The best you can do for her is treat her with respect and just ask if there's anything you can do for her while you still have a job and a home...

[wartrace]

27. I actually admire her.

The lady has some real character that will see her through her hard times. I would NEVER abandon my dogs if I were experiencing hard times. I would rather live in my truck with my dogs than anywhere without them. I made a promise to my dogs when I gave them a home that I would take care of them forever. I imagine this lady did the same. It breaks my heart but also lifts my heart to know she is a loyal dog person.