Borowitz Report Heh

[lonestarnot]

Borowitzreport.com


Bush Offers U.S. Attorneys New Positions in Iraq
Attempt to Calm Furor over Mass Sacking

In a bold attempt to end the controversy over the sacking of eight United States attorneys, President George W. Bush today offered the fired prosecutors what he called “exciting new positions” in Iraq.

With the President facing pressure from Congress over the firing of the attorneys and funding for the continuing war effort, Mr. Bush told reporters at the White House that sending the “surge” of eight U.S. attorneys to Baghdad was a “win-win” solution to both problems.

“Congress has been trying their darnedest to limit my ability to prosecute this war,” Mr. Bush said. “Well, I can think of no one more qualified to prosecute this war than those eight prosecutors.”

Mr. Bush said that dispatching a surge of lawyers to Baghdad will be send a strong message to insurgents and terrorists that they can no longer take the law into their own hands.

“I have strongly felt for some time that we need more suits on the ground,” Mr. Bush said.

If all goes as planned, the eight prosecutors will be parachuted into Baghdad as early as this Wednesday, Mr. Bush told reporters, and could be prosecuting insurgents by Thursday.

While some in the White House press corps questioned if sending eight prosecutors to Iraq would really be enough to turn the tide of the war effort there, Mr. Bush said he already had plans to send additional lawyers if necessary.

“If those eight aren’t enough, I’ll send Gonzales,” he said.

[entanglement]

1. Andy Borowitz is good

:)

[monmouth]

2. I love it, too funny....LOL.. n/t

[lonestarnot]

3. kick