CIA Awkwardly Debriefs Obama On Creation Of Crack Cocaine

[JackRiddler]

CIA Awkwardly Debriefs Obama On Creation Of Crack Cocaine

February 26, 2009 | Issue 45•09


WASHINGTON—In his first meeting with President Barack Obama, CIA crime and counternarcotics analyst Timothy R. McIntire haltingly explained to the nation's first African-American commander in chief the highly classified origin of crack cocaine and the resultant epidemic that swept across U.S. inner cities. "Well, you see, sir...thing is, we needed money to help those Contras back in '85, and we never really expected...so we distributed it, and...shortsighted...and, ha, well, Christ—is it hot in here?" McIntire said between exaggerated coughs. "Yikes, okay. See, it was a very tense time—not that that makes it right—and, uh, bottom line is, we're a different agency now."

McIntire went on to disclose several other secret CIA operations, including the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963 and the recruitment, four years earlier, of a Kenyan grad student for a clandestine program at the University of Hawaii.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/cia_awkwardly_debriefs?utm_source=a-section

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[blm]

1. the cover up of CIA drugrunning that went on in the 90s was disgraceful and EVIL...

Generations of black families were harmed and many ruined permanently when their communities were targeted by BushInc and its operation to dump TONS of their cheap, IranContra cocaine in the 80s.

The deliberate takedown of Gary Webb, the reporter who pieced the story together in 1996, was a crime against this country as well, imo.

[JackRiddler]

2. Agreed... and this article isn't really satire, except for the Kenyan professor...

which The Onion writer could not possibly know, but is there to make the joke.

The satirical part is that the CIA would come clean about Contra-Crack or JFK.

.

[blm]

5. so true....

.

[SpiralHawk]

3. "Smirk." - Ollie North (R- Occult Arms Dealer & Homelander Propagandist)

"We Republicon Homelanders also gave America's Hawk Missiles to the 'evil doers' in Iran. So as the record shows, you can always depend on us Republicon Homelanders to do Occult Thingys that follow the ideology of Rush 'I hope America Fails' Limbaugh. Smirk."

- Ollie North (R)

[Ikonoklast]

4. I wonder if they Mr. Obama the Afghanistan record poppy crop estimates?

"And on a good note, Mr. President, our projected profits off raw heroin production are looking to soar to the five hundred billion mark before June of this year! At this rate, we'll have enough money to destabilize almost any government we care to without having to inform you of us ever doing it!"

[aikoaiko]

6. meh, kids in the burbs were pan frying crack by 1985.

New Jack City, yo, yo, yo

[JackRiddler]

7. True, but it's the Onion that gets that detail wrong...

Gary Webb's "Dark Alliance" made it clear that the Contra coke ring was set up and supplying "Freeway" Ricky Ross in South Central by 1981-1982, which was the true ground zero of the crack epidemic.

[blm]

8. and what I find scary is that even many Dems couldn't answer Who is Gary Webb and

what did he do to earn the wrath and retaliation of official DC?

[JackRiddler]

9. Isn't as predictable as it is scary?

The most peculiar aspect of the system of power in this country is the degree to which it is predicated on total historical amnesia, or rather the suppression of the history in the educational process. We don't get inconvenient facts in school, even when they are central, and we are too atomized to pass them down through family or among the people.