(Satire)The Department of Homeland Security has detained Fox News host and former cool-kid wannabe Sean Hannity. While Department policy prohibits disclosure regarding details of pending investigations, Paul Katz, an anonymous source familiar with the case confirmed that ‘God’s bff’ is being questioned about alleged treasonous acts stemming from a poll on his website asking followers of his cult to vote on their preferred form of revolution. The three choices given are military coup, armed rebellion, and war for secession. (
http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=1326121)
“It wouldn’t be looked upon so seriously if at least one of the options listed was something like ‘social’ or ‘political’, or as foreign as it may be to the suspect, ‘sexual’,” according to Katz, “But since the only options provided to people who, by virtue of the fact that they follow this guy, I would remind you might charitably be described as ‘unstable’, we must take very seriously that, at best, he may be inciting violence, and at worst, he’s seeking the violent overthrow of the same government with which he had such an obvious infatuation until January 20th.”
“You must always be very careful dealing with someone experiencing feelings of rejection,” said Dr. Newton M. Toomey, a professor of criminology and adolescent psychology at Pueblo State University, “Rejection is the emotion most likely to lead to violent behavior. When dealing with individuals like Mr. Hannity and his disciples you have to take into consideration that not only was the personification of their ideals, and by transference them, so roundly and thoroughly rejected worldwide, but their idol’s replacement is perceived by many as being universally worshiped. They speak of revolution the same way a jilted lover speaks of murder or murder-suicide. This sort of cry for help should never be taken lightly, as these situations so often end tragically.”
No indication has been given as to how long Mr. Hannity will be detained or if any charges have been or are expected to be filed.
In other news:Colorado State Troopers Nail Rogue Jaywalker
Hedge Fund Managers Fear Worst is Imminent Read more at:
http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/sean-hannity-detained-by-homeland-security/
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