Shall I tell you my sad stories?

[Joe Fields]

I think not.

They are too private to tell. I have a lot of them though, and they are as sad and pathetic as any I hear here. Have you people no shame? I choose not to tell you, because, for one thing, it's none of your business, and two, the truth is, no one really cares.

The fact of the matter is that I choose not to wallow in self pity, and, even though I'm a democrat, I see way too much self pity oozing from this site.

I've lost everything due to a fire, I've lost everything, once again to economic conditions and my family was split apart for several months,I've lost family members, I've lost jobs, I've had nowhere to turn, but you know what? I'm not only still here, but I'm doing well, and I don't fucking whine about it.

Grow up, people and take responsibility for your actions and quit blaming others. Whether you have been dealt cards fairly or unfairly, you are still the master of your destiny.

I swear to God some of you need pacifiers.

Go ahead and pile on. I don't really care anymore. I'm outa here. I have a life to live.

[Mojorabbit]

1. What brought that on?

When someone is having a hard time it does some good to get some emotional support.

[ezgoingrl]

2. Bye!

See you later! Have fun stormin' the castle!

[Mind_your_head]

10. stick it! re: stormin' the castle n/t

[Tangerine LaBamba]

3. Life - it's that thing away from the keyboard

Good on you, Joe. You're still here.

Me, too. It's been a hell of a ride, but I'm still standing. A couple of years ago, I couldn't stand, let alone walk. Today, I'm fine.

I never expected my life to be uncomplicated, but I had no idea it would be so hard, that everything would be lost more than once. I never expected any of it.

But I never expected the amazing good times and all the joy and happiness to be so powerful, either.

There are scars, real and figurative, but I figured they're just reminders of good stories. And good stories are what get us all through that long, dark night.

So, again and again, I keep diving off the high board, not always sure the water will be there when I land. But, the trip is worth it. I had a dream, and I made it come true. The rest, as they say, is gravy.

You're still here, Joe. So am I.

[PatSeg]

24. Guess you need the really bad

to truly appreciate the really good!

[Mind_your_head]

4. But did you have a cheese sandwich to eat when no one would give you anything else?

:sarcasm:

Thank you for posting. :-)

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

5. Give a man a cheese sandwich, and he will eat that day......

....but give him a gift certificate to Hickory Farms, and he will eat for a month.

[Mind_your_head]

8. Teach him/her how to make cheese and they'll be cheeseheads/cheesemakers for a LIFETIME!

Everything doesn't come from 'KraftFoods', et al...geez!

http://www.mediterranean-food-recipes.com/how-to-make-cheese.html

Or here:

http://biology.clc.uc.edu/fankhauser/Cheese/Cheese_5_gallons/CHEESE_5gal_00.htm

Or just "use the google" ;-)

[fasttense]

19. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and you've

cut into your market share.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. Dude

:rofl:
http://www.youtube.com/v/_irLzjh0wvQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1

[emilyg]

7. Kick for a survivor.

[NoSheep]

9. Why don't you tell us about your history....?

I'd really like to know how you have come to where you are now.

[cliffordu]

11. Ok. See you tomorrow.

:hi:

[Mind_your_head]

12. I hope so. But 'good principles' can't/won't be dissuaded (sp?).

:hi:

[cliffordu]

15. Well of course not. That wouldn't be a plank in the 'democrat' platform.

:rofl:

[EmilyAnne]

13. What kind of bullshit is this?

I thought you said your sad story wasn't anyone's business. Why, then, do you proceed to tell us? "I've lost everything due to a fire, I've lost everything, once again to economic conditions and my family was split apart for several months,I've lost family members, I've lost jobs, I've had nowhere to turn, but you know what? I'm not only still here, but I'm doing well, and I don't fucking whine about it."

And you certainly seem to be whining and wallowing, in need of a giant pacifier. Jeez, you're such an attention seeker.

BTW- there is nothing shameful about talking about personal tragedy on an internet forum and many people here do care. I hope you get the attention you so desperately seek.

[liberalmuse]

14. I'm not seeing what you're seeing here.

I think you're distorting the reason why people are posting their stories. It's because they are letting us know where they're coming from, showing another perspective from the one we see all over the TV and coming from Republicans mouths, which is essentially, 'FUCK poor people. FUCK people down on their luck. FUCK people who've suffered tragedy--let's blame the victims and make jokes about them (i.e.; "Hurricane Katrina").

I've lost everything in a fire too. I think a lot of DUers have gone through times so hard that each individual story would make more than a few people here cringe, or feel compassion and solidarity. What's wrong with that? It's not a sign of weakness to share, to be vulnerable. Sadly, people I interact with at work, and even some of my close friends do not want to talk about the really deep stuff or the serious issues never mind politics. They don't like vulnerability. It makes them uncomfortable. They'd rather talk about tv shows or shopping. Perhaps that is why some of us share things here, amongst a community that allows such things, except for the few who are deeply cynical and are somehow offended by people opening up, or seeing it as a sign of weakness or a means to get attention. WRONG.

[fasttense]

20. Well put. The Nation had a listing of stories about people who have recently

come on to hard times, usually due to unemployment or the cost of illness. They were touching and heartfelt.

But one man wrote he couldn't find people like him. People who were suffering from unemployment and he felt alone and abandoned.

So sharing your story may help the next guy realize he is Not Alone. We are all in this together.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

36. Interesting points

I never considered - but, then, I've not given the notion of message boards a whole lot of thought.

But, I think you're right, that this is a place where people can say things they maybe can't say to the ones who, sadly, might even be the closest to them in real life. Hence, the "group therapy" tone that I often find and always wondered about. It is, truly, the safest kind of environment to tell your story and, with a little bit of luck, have someone hear you.

There are, of course, the attention whores, and I've seen far too many of them, but I do believe you've made a valuable and cogent statement here, liberalmuse, and for that, I thank you.

[roguevalley]

44. my parents died ten months apart. they were MY WORLD. I remember coming

here and telling about it. The responses keep my going to this day. I don't recall anyone whining about their life. I remember a lot of people telling us what happened to them and how they felt and what they were going to do. People post here who have their family members die, who have survived tornadoes and floods and all kinds of shit. The people who post here about their times in New Orleans and the gulf are my heroes. This place is made for that and the resulting comfort someone gets might be the difference from going on or eating a bullet.

[canetoad]

16. Well said Joe

:toast:
:toast:

[Truth2Tell]

17. Dude, WTF?

I bought your book. Reading it right now. It's pretty good. You got skills.

Skills don't always pay the bills. But life is about more than that.

Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570623449

Peace.

[Jim Sagle]

18. Fuck off.

Those who need to vent, should continue to vent. They don't need your "tough love".

Sometimes I empthasize/sympathise. When I don't, I scroll on. Feel free to do the same.

Your rant was about as useful as a plastic turkey.

[Behind the Aegis]

21. "Tough love" is important! Oh wait, that is "rough love!"

:P

[Marrah_G]

47. I knew there was a reason I liked you..........

:hide:

[tkmorris]

22. May the fleas of a thousand camels

infest your ballsack. What a dillhole.

[cali]

23. You slam others for "wallowing in self-pity" and scribing tell alls here.

Then, before the stench of self-righteousness you emitted, has lifted, you procede to list the hard times you've seen and "wallow". Can't you see the hypocrisy? No, of course you can't.

[PatSeg]

25. I don't mind the "sad stories"

though I prefer not to document my own. I figure some people really need to articulate their situations. Just putting it in words helps to give one a perspective. We all deal with hardships in our own individual fashion but I wouldn't call it whining, just expression. A little feedback and understanding could help a person to move to the next level.

[rucky]

26. You should write inspirational greetings for Hallmark.

asswipe

[roguevalley]

45. damn. that rick astley pie chart rules. :)

[H2O Man]

27. To each, his/her own.

DU is, when it functions properly, a community. Some people are more comfortable knowing their neighbors on an informal basis, similar to the experience in modern cities. Others have more of a small-town relationship with their neighbors.

[bridgit]

28. Mm, understood, DU is capable of placing people they deem guilty in public cyber-stocks...

parading them about for the sport of a sanctified tribalism before dumping them in pauper's field...we have a breakthrough a truly banner day :)

[northernlights]

29. So sorry you lost everything, twice

and were temporarily separated from family members.

And thank you so much for "not" sharing that with us.

:wtf:

by the way, what you see as "wallowing in self-pity," other people may see as:

* venting
* illustrating a point
* seeking advice and/or direction
* seeking encouragement
* seeking reassurance that they are not alone
* seeking affirmation that they aren't totally nuts, it really is tough out there these days
* venting some more

I hate to ask this (assuming you check in to see responses to your little rant), but are you sure you aren't projecting the wallowing part? As in, you were "wallowing" for a while, and now that feel ready to "face the world?" you're projecting your self-dislike for your own "wallowing" onto others?

What you call "wallowing" some would call healing time and/or letting the painful lessons sink in. But if you got what you truly needed during this time, you might not need to project "wallowing" onto others to make yourself "feel empowered." You'd be grateful for any ears, hugs and/or advice received during your "wallowing time," move forward without the need to put down others, and be able to look back and on occasion offer others your ear, shoulder, advice, whatever, to help them over a hump.

Just a thought....

[Cerridwen]

30. I'd like to thank you, Joe.

You just validated everything I suspected about you. It always feels good to be validated. Yeah, I know, that's kinda too "touchy feely" for the likes of you and your kind.

In your world it's better if we all just "suck it up," "take it like a man," "get over ourselves," and "quit being so sensitive." The old time stoic who wouldn't know stoic philosophy if they were hit upside the head with it. Who thinks philosophy is for "girls" and "limp-wristed men."

The kind of person who's had a rough go of it and who has much to be proud of. But who instead, chooses to blame everyone else for what they've suffered while denying having suffered. Who could have learned to understand how people feel when going through hard times but instead chose to deny their own feelings as a weakness, something to be ashamed of. And who never got over their own shame for feeling them. "Suck it up." "Take it like a man." "It builds character." Yeah, twisted character.

At one point in my life I felt sad for people like you. But, look around you Joe. The world in which we live is in part due to pissed off little men who feel entitled to tell others to "cowboy up," "get over yourself," and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," "it's nothing personal," and my all time favorite, "it's just business." The attitude you've just displayed is what got us here.

To quote another abusive jerk who hides behind the "tough love" mantra; "How's that workin' out for ya, Joe?"

[Cerridwen]

31. Oh, and one more thing. I'm glad people have this place to come to.

I'm relieved I see people posting here looking for connection.

No one, not even you, Joe; no one should have to go through this life feeling disconnected and alone.

I'm glad people feel they can come here for support, friendship, caring, compassion, and empathy for whatever experience that's just smacked them in their gut.

I'm glad they feel they can open up here. Because, Joe, if people didn't have someone, anyone to turn to during tough times, there'd be far too many like you in the world. I don't think we'll survive many more like that.

[Ferretherder]

32. Well said, my friend.

n/t

[Cerridwen]

33. Thank you, Ferretherder.

Your avatar and your name bring up fond memories of a friend with 4 of those little darlings. Cutest little buggers. But stinkYYYYYY! :D Of course, I have dogs. So, stinky is relative. LOL

[distantearlywarning]

34. Sounds like this isn't the place for you anyway.

There are other places on the internets where you will find a lot of people who think just like you do. I think you know where they are, and I probably don't need to provide the address. I suspect you've been there already.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

It So Sad That The Pain In Your Life Has Hardened You To The Pain Of Others

~

[DemocratSinceBirth]

35. It's So Sad That The Pain In Your Life Has Hardened You To The Pain Of Others

~

[seejanespottdick]

37. Thank you for that...I don't get inspired hearing about how terrible and hopeless everything is...

And you are absolutely right on!

[cherokeeprogressive]

38. Glad to have been the rec that sent this to the Greatest Page.

So people can see how compassionate you are. Congrats.

[Subdivisions]

39. No Kick or Rec from me. Oh, wait.... n/t

[muffin1]

40. I thought

you were "leaving and never coming back" last year...

[Bunny]

41. As I recall, you've been quite a drama queen around here yourself.

More than a few hysterical "leaving DU" posts, too. In fact, you've inflicted a hell of a lot of yourself onto us. Too bad you can't deal with others sharing their experiences.

[Subdivisions]

48. I shared my experience, just because of this OP. People actually do

care and I didn't need a pacifier.

[nichomachus]

42. First you tell us you're not going to tell us -- and then you do

That's sad in and of itself

[Festivito]

43. You should win a Darwin award.

You're right: need no one, never sick, never old, turn to no one.

You're great. No doubt.

If you were to lose your job, thusly your health care, retirement, house, et.al. You know how to handle it. Remarkable.

Let me guess. You have a life to live. (Let me guess again, it is beyond the current life we all know. In other words: life after death.) And, you intend to go.

You might win a Darwin award.

[Marrah_G]

46. wow........

:popcorn:

[Skittles]

49. not everyone is the same, Joe

some people like to keep things private, others feel the need to talk and ask for help

[lumberjack_jeff]

50. I like cake. n/t

[Control-Z]

51. Now I'm totally confused.

Did you choose not to tell us your sad stories? or,

Did you just tell us your sad stories?

Just trying to get your message straight.