Roger Ebert compares Bill O'Reilly to a delusional mouse with an erection

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Thoughts on Bill O'Reilly and Squeaky the Chicago Mouse

By Roger Ebert / April 7, 2009

To: Bill O'Reilly
From: Roger Ebert

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090407/COMMENTARY/904079997/-1/RSS

Dear Bill: Thanks for including the Chicago Sun-Times on your exclusive list of newspapers on your "Hall of Shame." To be in an O'Reilly Hall of Fame would be a cruel blow to any newspaper. It would place us in the favor of a man who turns red and starts screaming when anyone disagrees with him. My grade-school teacher, wise Sister Nathan, would have called in your parents and recommended counseling with Father Hogben.

Yes, the Sun-Times is liberal, having recently endorsed our first Democrat for President since LBJ. We were founded by Marshall Field one week before Pearl Harbor to provide a liberal voice in Chicago to counter the Tribune, which opposed an American war against Hitler. I'm sure you would have sided with the Trib at the time.

I understand you believe one of the Sun-Times misdemeanors was dropping your syndicated column. My editor informs me that "very few" readers complained about the disappearance of your column, adding, "many more complained about Nancy." I know I did. That was the famous Ernie Bushmiller comic strip in which Sluggo explained that "wow" was "mom" spelled upside-down.

***

Bill, I am concerned that you have been losing touch with reality recently. Did you really say you are more powerful than any politician?

That reminds me of the famous story about Squeaky the Chicago Mouse. It seems that Squeaky was floating on his back along the Chicago River one day. Approaching the Michigan Avenue lift bridge, he called out: Raise the bridge! I have an erection!

[saltpoint]

1. Ebert wields a scythe. He's a fine writer on film and at least as good on

politics.

Bill O ain't got nothin'.

[mucifer]

2. yeah Ebert has a Pulitzer.

[NashVegas]

22. Ebert Is a National Treasure

I don't think there's a reviewer anywhere with more integrity, and gift for communicating.

[RandomThoughts]

3. :)

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[patrice]

4. Insightful!! This metaphor is soooooo perfect.

[EFerrari]

5. Very well done.

:rofl:

[Historic NY]

6. Ebert should know he has reviewed some stupid shit in his career.

[Beartracks]

19. Ebert is the man! His reviews always amuse...

... educate, and jive with my impressions. I didn't really like a movie? His review alone tells me why I didn't like it. Enjoyed a great film? His review points all the things the movie got right, things that I had noticed, but not really SEEN. Sort of like he reads my mind and puts my thoughts eloquently into words, so I can then read them back and say, "Ah, yes. Exactly!"

Thumbs up :thumbsup: on his thumbs-down :thumbsdown: review of O'Reilly.

[The Wielding Truth]

7. Bill O'Reilly, now forever known as"Squeaky "!

[Starry Messenger]

8. Ebert is one of my favorites.

:thumbsup:

[panader0]

9. I saw that on KO today hilarious

[saltpoint]

10. Both Ebert and Frank Rich are very, very good when they write at the

junction of culture and power.

I would read anything they put to print, no matter the topic.

This open letter to Bill O is devastating.

[stevedeshazer]

11. POW. That's gonna leave a bruise.

Nice.

Roger that.

:)

[Nothing Without Hope]

12. Everyone should call BillO "Squeaky" when they're tired of calling him other

names like "Falafel Boy." I'm sure he'll appreciate the variety.

[tabatha]

13. That has to be the funniest thing I have ever read.

[Kablooie]

14. As do we all.

[southerncrone]

15. Ebert brilliantly included some macho male humor, so Billo would be

able to comprehend at least some of this otherwise noble epistle. No doubt O'Really? will be fixated on that last sentence & the rest will completely dissolve from his consciousness.

He truly is an arrogant completely-self-absorbed chauvinistic pig.

[Ken Burch]

16. Since nobody else has said it , "Two Thumbs Up" for this column.

Somewhere out there, Gene Siskel is probably loving this.

Small correction to Ebert's comments on Conrad Black.

Black's title is not "Baron Black of Coldharbor", it's "Lord Black of Crossharbour". The joke is that Black's barony is, simply, a DLR(Docklands Light Railway)depot in East London. That's right, Conrad Black is lord of a railroad station.

[saltpoint]

17. I like that a lot of people who pick up the SUN TIMES in Chicago

on their way somewhere on the L likely had a look Ebert's piece.

The more people who read Roger Ebert, arguably the most famous Chicago-area profile after Oprah, Barack Obama, Michael Jordan, and the mayor, the better. Talk can be really contagious. Maybe "Squeaky" will become Bill O's new nickname.

[brettdale]

18. hehehehe

That is funny.

[saltpoint]

20. A kick for the Thursday morning bunch huddled around

coffee and the morning paper.

[Danascot]

21. We need a chorus of good people like Roger Ebert

to call out these evil clowns on their BS.

[Vidar]

23. Excellent characterization of that bloviating ass.

[saltpoint]

24. The weekend's here. I'm kicking this in hopes that Ebert's comment will

inspire even further erosion of rightwing talk host types and maybe get a few of us into the theater for a film, checking Roger's website first for an advance glimpse.

The politics of the Arts and the art of politics is at play.

There was a time when Ebert, owing to his physical personality, was not taken seriously and was even made fun of.

He found that extraordinary writing talent served to remediate that problem. He does not suffer fools and has enough talent to not need to.

Bill O knows he's been called out. Bill's fans, frothing hate-mongers all, won't stop watching him because of Roger Ebert. But Ebert's assessment makes it difficult for them to feel any dignity in their association with Bill O.

My hat's off for Mr. Ebert.

[Spazito]

25. Loved it!

"Squeaky" O'Reilly it is from now on!

I love it when a column is hilarious as well as appropriately scathing in it's content.