Or something?
Maybe you're familiar with Nonviolent Communication--
NVC In A Nutshell
According to Dr. Rosenberg, humans speak two languages, Jackal and Giraffe (the land animal with the biggest heart). Jackal is mostly about blaming others for our pain. Jackal is mostly concerned with the past. Giraffe, on the other hand rigidly confines itself to four topics:
1. Observations of what is happening now. These are Sergeant Friday, just-the-facts-Ma’am descriptions, without evaluating, moralising or blaming.
2. What I am feeling, and what I guess you are feeling.
3. What it is I think I need and what it is I think you need.
4. Concise, specific, concrete, doable, clear requests of others to meet those needs. A five year old would likely be able to tell if the request were granted. You can’t ask that X love you, but you can ask for a kiss or a cherry pie. State them postively, what you want others to do, not want you want them to avoid doing.
When Giraffe speakers encounter Jackal speakers, Giraffes try to guess the feelings and needs behind the Jackal blame and shame games. This is much easier said that done. Giraffes try to help Jackals focus on their own present feelings and needs.
What Rosenberg discovered, is when you get a group of people (mixed Giraffe and Jackal speakers) focussing on their own feelings and needs, automatically they start to co-operate to help each other get those needs met — even Rwandans who days earlier where slicing each other’s children to bits.
A skilled Giraffe can figure out what the feelings and needs are behind a vicious attack, and sees those needs and feelings only, ignoring the attack itself. Giraffes don’t concern themselves with what Jackals think, just how they are feeling and what they need. They constantly lead the Jackals away from their thoughts and judgements to their feelings and needs.
http://mindprod.com/livinglove/methods/nvc.html
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