War Widow Commits Suicide 3 Months After Husband Killed In Iraq

[Dems Will Win]

Elaina Morton Lays Flower on Coffin Of Husband Ben, Killed in Iraq
3 Months Later She Killed Herself Because of Poor Counseling for Vet Families

Honoring A Fallen Soldier

His funeral Mass took place in his hometown church, St. Andrew Catholic Church in Wright. The crowd was so large that it filled the church and overflowed into the St. Andrew Parish Center next door, where people watched the service on a video screen.

The Rev. Robert Schremmer said Morton's relatives were experiencing clashing emotions, from pride in Morton's sacrifice for his country to grief at his death.

But he said as he visited and prayed with Morton's relatives, he noticed that their hearts were also filled with something else: faith.

"How moving, how inspiring, how humbling," Schremmer said. "With such a cacophony of emotion, with such a competition of feelings, that faith somehow seems always to edge everything else out."

...

After the last mournful note of "Taps" faded away, the soldiers presented Morton's wife, Elaina, with a folded American flag that had been draped over his casket.

...

Morton's longtime friend Robin Bailey, who had choked back tears several times during the service, said she had only one consolation.

"Just knowing that he died doing what he loved, and he's safe," she said. "We don't have to worry about him anymore."

http://www.dodgeglobe.com/stories/060305/loc_20050603015.shtml

Casualties of a War a World Away

Elaina Morton is not listed as one of the 2,000 Americans now confirmed killed in Iraq since the start of the war, but she might as well be. In US military parlance the 23-year-old lab technician from Kansas would have been referred to as a "surviving spouse". But three months after her husband, Staff Sergeant Benjamin Morton, was killed by insurgents in Mosul, Elaina picked up a gun and shot herself.

The fact that the military did not issue a press release to announce the death of the former college student who loved her cat, Stinky, and enjoyed hiking, photography and camping, does not make her any less a casualty of the war. Hers is thought to be the first confirmed case of a war widow committing suicide, and as the US toll in Iraq yesterday hit the grim 2,000 landmark her death is proof of the immeasurable emotional toll that the conflict has put on families of servicemen and women.

George Bush yesterday spoke to wives of servicemen at Bollings air force base in Washington, as part of a strategy to confront the death toll head on by portraying the sacrifice in the Iraq war as the best way to keep terrorists from striking the US again. But for many bereaved families the bigger picture the president highlighted has been consumed by the day-to-day struggle of coping with their grief.

...

According to Karen Spears Zacharias, who has set up a grassroots network linked to the website http://www.heromama.org for widows and the 1,200 children who have lost parents in Iraq, there is better support from the military than there was during the Vietnam era, when her father was killed. But too many widows unable or unwilling to ask for help are falling through the cracks. "What 23-year-old girl is going to feel comfortable walking into a veterans center or military hospital for counseling? That's like telling someone who lives 10 miles outside of town and who doesn't own a car that there's milk at the store - if they just go get it.

"People have said that suicide was Elaina's choice and we should respect that. But I don't buy that. When you're 23 years old and commit suicide it is not about choice but about being in an unhealthy place. We have a responsibility to go beyond just saying that we will be there for them and really be there for them."

She adds: "No one wants to talk about suicide because there is a feeling that we failed that person. But we need to talk about it, we can't wait to have 10 more widows kill themselves before we address it. Because right now it doesn't feel like we are anywhere near the end of this war."

http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1026-28.htm

Please remember to recommend if you want others to be touched by Elaina's story on this day of protest...

[Clinton_Co_Regulator]

1. !

:cry:

[knitter4democracy]

2. I worry about the spouses and children left behind.

It's hard enough to be a military spouse or kid. Losing a loved one like that has to be amazingly difficult--just breathing every day has to be a chore. May she rest if peace and be with her husband in a place of repose with no worries or pain. May their memories be eternal.

[Dems Will Win]

26. Here is the photo of her receiving the flag:

[knitter4democracy]

34. She's doing all she can not to fall apart, isn't she.

How sad. :cry: She needed help to get through that--more than she got, that's for sure.

[MissWaverly]

3. we should do more for the vets, and their families

My friend came back from Iraq and had terrible pain in his eyes, he drove himself to
the doctor and they referred him to the best hospital in the area. It turns out
he had an infection in the whites of his eyes due to sand. I am sure that he
is not the only one to come back with this. He had to take a shopping bag full of
antibiotics, he paid for it all out of his pocket rather than deal with the bureaucracy.

[Dems Will Win]

4. YES

"What 23-year-old girl is going to feel comfortable walking into a veterans center or military hospital for counseling? That's like telling someone who lives 10 miles outside of town and who doesn't own a car that there's milk at the store - if they just go get it.

"People have said that suicide was Elaina's choice and we should respect that. But I don't buy that. When you're 23 years old and commit suicide it is not about choice but about being in an unhealthy place. We have a responsibility to go beyond just saying that we will be there for them and really be there for them."

[MissWaverly]

9. they made their sacrifice for us, we should do more for them

first, we sent them there without serious thought about what we were doing, and then we act like we don't know them when they need us, this is a mess.

[Dems Will Win]

23. Yup

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

5. "Collateral Damage" n/t

[Dems Will Win]

6. Not counted in the 3,000 + ...

[Bucky]

14. This story leaves me numb, too.

I've read your posts, Mayberry. I know you didn't mean that as cold as it sounds. This war is killing a little bit of all of us. It's just gotten to be too much.

[Dems Will Win]

15. Mayberry is pointing out the coldness of the term used by the

Administration for civiliam deaths.

[bonito]

7. This, because the neocons won't use diplomacy n/t

[Dems Will Win]

11. Or their brains...

[bdamomma]

17. they rather bomb and kill people, talking is just so inconvenient

to these sick sick evil men.

[all.of.me]

8. Severe depression from grief.

That is so sad. No one helps those left behind. Meanwhile, asswipe glosses over it with the 'fighting the terrorists' bullshit rap.

[Dems Will Win]

10. There should be outreach and in-home counselors

Anyone truly suicidal needs to be under observation in a facility.

[Dems Will Win]

12. kick

[mnhtnbb]

13. This is so sad. Such a waste.

[bdamomma]

16. this madness must stop now, they march them into a meat grinder

and cut funds for the vets and their families when they come home, for such things as this family counseling and grief counselling, this sick administration must go. They are playing us for fools.

[Horse with no Name]

18. On MSNBC the other day

The reporters were at Ft. Bragg talking to "war experts". The women whose husbands were serving.
All of them supported Bush. All of them supported the surge. At least that is what the reporter on the teevee said.:eyes:
However, I cannot believe that. There are people out there that support this effort obviously. But my guess is that the majority of the ones that are invested--who have "skin in the game" would rather see their loved ones come home alive.
However...I imagine that there are MANY more that struggle with depression and other emotional disorders than those that MSM highlighted.
I cannot imagine the depths that this woman reached before concluding suicide was the only way out.
Prayers to her and her family.

[lovuian]

19. for awhile Everybody supported Vietnam but after a time

of over 10,000 deaths the support died and anger stirred

A sad moment

[me b zola]

43. You are right not to believe that

"The reporters were at Ft. Bragg talking to "war experts". The women whose husbands were serving.
All of them supported Bush. All of them supported the surge. At least that is what the reporter on the teevee said."

Your BS detector is working well. My DIL was stationed @ Fort Bragg before deploying to Iraq. My son would convey to me through our phone calls that a large portion of the rank & file hate * and this horrible war.

[blues90]

20. It's all so very sad and troubling

I can't imagine how those left behind are expected to cope .

I not only feel sad and heart broken about those left behind from this horrid war but all of the people who suffer for whatever loss they experience whether do to natural disasters such as the people in the Miss gulf coast or those who have lost all do to job losses and become so depressed and over come by the mental pain that the only way out is suicide .

People need to take deep depression more serious , it is a real form of illness just like any physical illness except it cannot be seen .

[Cabcere]

25. Couldn't agree more

As someone who has suffered from clinical depression for the past five years, I've had to struggle with the stigma society puts on people who are severely depressed for any reason. My situation is certainly not the same as this young widow's was, but there have been times where I felt that suicide was one of my better options. When I finally realized that I was in too deep and I needed to seek professional help, the first person I told was my father. I was sixteen at the time and I was struggling with the feeling of being a "loser" for feeling the way I was feeling, and it hurt worse than just about anything I'd experienced up to that point when my dad - whom I love and respect very much - told me to "get a life," and left the room in disgust.

I don't mean to bore you all with stories about my life, but the point I'm trying to make is that depression is a very serious issue, and especially when it affects people who have lost loved ones to war, disaster, etc. (for which the government is directly or indirectly responsible), we need to make an extra effort to support those who are grieving. It saddens me to read about this young woman, her loss, grief, and subsequent suicide, but what's worse is knowing that she's probably not the only one. :cry: My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has been affected by this horrible war.

[blues90]

27. Not boring at all .

I fully understand deep depression , I am going through it now .
You never think it could happen to you and it is impossible to know how it suddenly came about .

I am 57 and due to the job situation and the passing of my mother and assorted other related issues I have not been able to enjoy anything .

This war and the situation in this country certainly does not help because this adds to and is part of my situation .

I have nothing to compare with this young womens situation .

Depression can break a person down very quickly to being nothing in their own eyes and being nothing leaves nothing in the way of hope .

[Cabcere]

28. *Hugs*

:hug: I'm so very sorry to hear that, blues90. My thoughts and prayers are with you - and all others suffering from depression - and I hope things start improving soon. :hug:

[Dems Will Win]

49. Yes

[lastliberalintexas]

21. I wonder how many others have done the same

I see that article was from 1 and 1/2 years ago, so I can only hope that Elaina Morton is an anomoly. Not that we'd learn it from our media anyway. Very sad.

[blues90]

31. The media would hide this

Just like they hide everything else that is an effect from this hidious war/ occupation .

[sce56]

37. We should all email Olberman & Cafferty

I know Keith would run with this and Bet Jack would too!

[tabasco]

22. War mongering cowards will never know the full measure of pain that

their greed has caused. Many vets will return from service with very serious emotional and psychological problems. Good counseling is a priority for the vets and we owe it to the surviving family members too. This is the kind of tragedy that profiteers like Bush completely ignore in their push for more war for profits.

[mmonk]

24. K&R

[Dems Will Win]

29. k

[CelticWinter]

30. This just broke my heart----

:cry:

[Dems Will Win]

32. kick

[kikiek]

33. Story on one of the solders who returned doing the same in todays paper. Many more war dead than

we can imagine. http://www.startribune.com/462/story/963363.html

[Initech]

35. Argh, stories like this piss me off.

See Bush? This is what YOUR WAR has done to people!!! :argh:

[Solly Mack]

36. .

I'm so sorry ,Elaina

[Rex]

38. So will she be written into the history books?

With all the great tales of battle, will the story of a war torn widow be learned by children in the future? Should every high school kid hear her story?

[Radio_Lady]

39. This is more than I can bear tonight. My God, where are YOU?

What a tragic and powerful story.

[dysfunctional press]

42. there is no god...i'd have thought you'd have figured that out by now...

the repukes have- that's why they don't fear divine retribution, or an eternity in the equally non-existent hell.

[rosesaylavee]

40. ...

[Bucky]

41. I've commented above. But I'm gonna kick it for two reasons.

First, what she felt is an enlarged version of what we all feel--the uselessness and the emptiness of all the slaughter. This war isn't like WW2 or Korea or even Gulf War 1, where we were helping a side that clearly was under the thumb of totalitarian militarism. This is just a pointless war and the horror of all the deaths beyond that makes the loss all that much tougher to take.

But secondly, I'm kicking this because I want more people to read it. Suicide for a young healthy person is never ever the right answer. Depression is obviously not good health. In this woman's case, it was a fatal disease. But depression is treatable and the more people who hear and learn this before they sink into the depths, the more likely they are to recognize this disease and seek treatment rather than retreating into that final "self-medication."

We owed that poor woman and her husband and her husband's family so much. They both died before we could begin to pay the debt.

[Quantess]

44. How terribly sad.

She is an unofficial casualty.

[newyawker99]

45. Rest in Peace Elaina.

:cry:

[Dems Will Win]

46. Doesn't Anybody Give a Damn?

[Dems Will Win]

47. kick

[Dems Will Win]

48. kick