Were you ever bullied as a youngster? Could you hurt them, even now?

[Faygo Kid]

Just read an article on the subject, and remember how much it hurt, as I started seventh grade at 5'3", and without an agenda. Awful. I was bullied because I got straight A's, and that includes bullying by the girls so much bigger than me (greasers). Not that I could not have taken them (or some of the guys), but I didn't understand why people would DO such things.

Shot up from 5'3" to 5'11" in the summer between 7th and 8th grade, and it was a whole new ballgame. That ended it, especially when I wrestled successfully. But I was still pissed. Why DO that? Anyway, just read about it, and it goes on, unfortunately.

Are there a couple people I would like to take out, even as I am in my late 50s? Oh yeah.

Sorry, I never go back there, but bullying is and always has been evil, and they are now probably Republicans.

Or dead.

[rucky]

1. A couple of the kids who bulied me recently reconnected w/ me on Facebook

20+ years later.

I friended 'em - what the hell.

[patrice]

4. That's the beauty of reducing what they did to 0. You Win, afterall!

[undergroundpanther]

9. unless of course

what these bullies did was traumatize you and give you pstd.

It's easy to say,ignore it,pretend it is all insignificant,with 20/20 hindsight.It's easy when you don't have symptoms making living your life right now so hard.Symptoms that would not be there now if you were treated like a human being in school.

[Sheltiemama]

41. Same thing happend to me.

I let go of that a long time ago. I doubt they even remember, and holding on to bitterness would have hurt me and me only.

[Wapsie B]

2. Yeah I was bullied as a kid. Turned the other cheek and all that.

Would've been better off to lay into a few of 'em at the time. But now? I care not whether they live or die. I'm not going to waste my time on such people.

[TankLV]

3. Now that you brought it up, yes, but I've moved on LONG ago

and forgotton it till this thread...

We have soooo many more important issues to deal with NOW than to dwell on past childhood skirmishes...!

[virgdem]

5. I was bullied and teased...

as a kid and the hurt never goes away. I am also in my late 50's and even now, if I met one of my tormentors face to face, I would have to suppress the urge to beat the crap out of them. One thing I can say, that I've developed a very thick skin over the years that I wish I had when I was a kid.

[Faygo Kid]

23. Well, I am with you, my friend. It's OK to let go. As hard as that is.

Thanks so much for posting this. I was picked on, then went on to be a "cool guy."

Bah. You and I are the same age. Take care, and love those who love you. Lots more of those than the creepazoids we dealt with, I am sure.

[patrice]

6. Yes. No.

Girl bullying can be emotionally excruciating, especially when boys are involved.

[undergroundpanther]

7. yes

I was bullied for years.
My mind has erased how these bullies looked.I remember some of the names.
The ones I would like to get back are
The asshole religious nut pedophile that ruined my mind at age 4 = I could hurt him,and the assholes that murdered my cat.
My father,except I can't because he's dead.
As for the bullies in school, I would maybe punch them I dunno I'd like to tell them how bad they wounded me and explain it so they will feel the impact of the harm they did and hate themselves for it.The ones that are psychopaths, I would rather not waste my time trying to get someone with no empathy to care and just shoot them.
That is if this world had any sense of any consistent logic ethically.

[paulsby]

8. i did hurt one of them

one, i elbowed in the nose. never had a problem from him after that.

the other (he was on the wrestling team), i challenged to a fight, in front of all his buddies.

never had a problem with him after that either.

bullying is all about power, and the ONLY thing (ime) that nearly always works with bullies is a punch in the nose, or the functional equivalent.

i think anti-bullying legislation is ridiculous (like using a howitzer against an ant), and so are so called zero tolerance no violence school policies, that actually punish people for using self defense, as well as the offender.

[JonLP24]

12. That was a popular topic for debate at grade school

I'm 22 so rules couldn't of changed that much but it student newsletters you could see arguments about the ability to fight back because the school suspended all parties involved in a fight no matter who started it. It was very thoughtful and intelligent debate in regards to a possible fight back rule. However, looking back I think the efforts could've been put to better use rather then using it to allow a fight back rule.

[paulsby]

15. i went to a quaker school

so quakers are against violence - PERIOD.

i think they are nice people, but i think the pacifism thang is pollyannish.

so, my school was pretty much anti-violence. but even they didn't have a zero tolerance policy (that i knew of). iow, i don't think they would reflexively punish somebody for defending themself.

none of the incidents i was involved in ever came to their attention, so this is speculative as to what they would have done.

[JonLP24]

17. Never knew any Quarkers personally. I think they are good people

I do know they are involved in some of the most unique legal battles. I can't think of all of them, but some are the buildings not up to code, refusal to put triangle warning lights on their horse carriages, not registering farm animals, etc. I think the most notable is the Supreme Court case in which one was defending his right to take his kids out of grade school at the 8th grade. Some have been in court in regards to child labor laws as well. Me, I think the quakers are easy targets for the justice system.

[paulsby]

19. that's the amish (and.or shakers) not quakers nt

[JonLP24]

22. Oops. I never knew there was a difference

I always thought they were the same just different names. Thanks for telling me that, I might've lived my whole life thinking they were one in the same.

[paulsby]

44. quakers are also known as society of friends

long been pacifists, but live in modern society with modern appliances, etc. unlike the amish, etc.

quakers big thang is pacifism. they are also into silence. and the religion is not hierarchal, at least when compared with most other religions.

i appreciate being of service.

my quaker school had APPLE II's.

maybe i'm dating myself :)

[MgtPA]

63. Presidents Hoover and Nixon were both Quakers :)

[MindPilot]

10. One kid that bullied me turned out to be a serious alcoholic

He didn't make it much past 30, so whether or not I want to hurt him is irrelevant.

I found that out just a couple years ago. I almost (almost, not quite) feel sorry for the guy--kinda pathetic--he wasn't even good at being a bully and apparently after high school he was no longer the big fish in a little pond. He spent the next 12 years drinking himself to death.

Anyone else I might have contact with today--I suspect they have either punished themselves sufficiently as in the aforementioned instance or given up their bullying ways. Either way, I'm cool with it.

Now, OTOH, there ARE a couple of teachers...

[ContinentalOp]

27. Yikes. Think of the situation at home that most bullies were probably coming from.

They didn't come up with that behavior out of nowhere. I think I had a strange awareness of this sad fact already at a young age and so while I was bullied a lot, I was fairly good at diffusing the situation through humor, just not giving a shit, or fighting back in a couple of cases. I ended up sort of becoming casual friends with some of them. Wow, I'm just now realizing the psychological implications of all of this!

[TahitiNut]

11. Yes. Yes.

(And I KNOW for a fact they're Republicans.)

[regnaD kciN]

13. In answer to your first question, yes, for several years of living hell...

In answer to your second question, it's pretty much irrelevant, as I live thousands of miles away from any of them and have practically no chance of ever crossing paths with them. Therefore, I will not wonder about what my answer would be if, say, I was to meet them in the proverbial dark alley. Whether this is because I don't want to admit what my instinctual reaction might be is also, given the circumstances stated above, irrelevant.

[anonymous171]

14. I was short but had a temper.

Any attempts to bully me were met with fierce physical resistance.

[TuxedoKat]

16. Yes!

I was bullied in 6th & 7th grade (two different schools). In 7th grade I was bullied by greaser kids too! They didn't bother me in 8th grade. I wasn't in any of their classes that year. I guess I probably got better grades so I was put in the smarter classes and we all got dispersed anyway. I grew about 4-5 inches too over the summer so maybe that intimidated them too! I was so relieved not to be bullied anymore! I don't hold a grudge so I forgive anyone that bullied me back then. I don't even remember most of their names. I don't think most of them went to college or did that well in life. I don't know what they are doing now, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were all ugly and poor because they weren't that attractive back then and didn't have much going for them then.

What was the article you read? Bullying seems to be getting more attention fortunately because unfortunately more kids are committing suicide because of it. Last week Oprah had a fellow on her show who was talking about bullying because his son had committed suicide. I will pm you his website, etc., later. Anderson Cooper had a woman on his show too recently who was talking about bullying, Barbara Bullard, I think her name was and she wrote a book about bullying which I plan to buy. Someone had a link to a video about it on DU -- very interesting!!! If you didn't see it I will send you the DU link for it too.

[Old Codger]

18. Yup

Had a couple of them where I grew up at, put up with a little of it then got fed up and fought back, was not that hard to do after I decided it was necessary, whupped both of em and never had another problem with anyone after that. All that was 50+ years ago, I have no reason to hold grudges since I got my evens in. In my opinion the real answer to stop bullying is to knock the snot out of them, they are mainly cowards and cannot take it. If you fight back it usually ends the problem.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

20. No, I took care of it in high school. I marked every one of the SOBs, a few permanently. Felt good

about it then and now.

It was sort of "You wouldn't like me when I am angry" kind of thing without the green skin and busting out of shirts. Always in front of witnesses, and always "defensive", though the truth was I was indeed trolling them.

[mikehiggins]

21. I was scared of bullies as a young boy

Then, in my first year of high school, I learned that if you stood up to bullies they would most likely back off. I wanted to go somewhere and this kid got in my way, telling me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going anywhere without his permission. Got in his face in a very real, very untypical way (for me at least) and he backed right down.

Since then I've never been bullied by a bully. On the other hand I have been intimidated by individuals who had the inclination and ability to seriously hurt me. Got revenge when/if possible but never felt less of a man because of it. I was simply and obviously overmatched by individuals who were NOT all talk, like the three teens who mugged me at gunpoint behind my apartment house.

Life is like that sometimes.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

30. I left the school where I was targeted and returned to another one three years later

It was a small enough area that word got around I was back in town. What they did not know was that I had been in Okinawa, had gotten very serious about my martial arts, and was out for vengeance. Over the next 6 months I made a point of being seen by my former tormentors and pushing their buttons until they attacked. From there it was simply how much I wanted to hurt them.

One of the first ones was a bubba who had been voted onto the homecoming court at the old school. We ran into each other the day of their homecoming dance. When he came after me I blocked and retreated until I got a clean shot at his left eye and then buried my right fist in it. It was massively bruised and swollen by the time he made homecoming. That led to other incidents and more injuries. Violence is really a self perpetuating cycle at that level.

[handmade34]

24. yes, probably republicans.

[santamargarita]

25. Three of us in high school would beat the shit out of bullies after school

We shared a sense of fair play

[varelse]

26. Yes, and only if I were forced to, in the course of defending myself

I'm not sure I'd recognize most of them now. And I damn sure would not trade souls with a single one of them.

[seabeyond]

28. once. she was a year older. didnt hurt her then, wouldnt now. BUT my big brother beat up

her brother cause he couldnt hit a girl.

i didnt know anything about it until later. but stopped the bullying

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

29. Nothing I could do to them would match what they did to themselves,

The kids who were the worst bullies at my school have gone nowhere in life... or worse. Meanwhile out of my graduating class among the kids who were bullied the worst there is a rockstar, a top hollywood film editor and a former model who is now photographer herself.

I'm sure seeing the rockstar on MTV or the model on magazine covers at the gas station where they make minimum wage rivals anything that could be done to their genitals with a belt sander.

[Pavulon]

37. Yep, living well...

that does not mean cash, but having a happy normal productive life. That goes a very long way.

[Iggo]

31. I was bullied by a 12 yr old.

I've said elswhere, anything I have to say would be to that 12 yr old. I don't give a shit who or what he is today, or whether or not he was sorry. If he tried to get in touch with me, I'd ignore him. I've got nothing for him.

[tammywammy]

32. No, I was never bullied. n/t

[reformedrethug]

33. I was on both ends of the equation growing up

In Jr HS my life was miserable as this was the late 70's and my first name rhymes with Gay, so needless to say I was called "Gay Ray" for 3 years and at first it affected me tremendously. The summer between Jr High and High school I grew up and bulked up. In HS I only had a few from Jr High follow to my High School and a couple of them chilled out over the summer but one did not. I turned the page on him and paid him back, not proud of it now but, at the time it felt like justice. Also, I defended several kids including my first love. She had cancer and at the start of the school year she was still dating a guy from her jr high, well, she got tired of his crap and broke up with him and we started dating. Well one day he walked by and said "Thats ok, you can have her, shes not a whole woman anyway"...next thing I remember I was being pulled off of him before the teachers got there. When I got home my dad asked me what happened and I told him and his comment was "You knew the consequences of your actions yet you chose to defend this girl, that is the sign of somebody with integrity and compassion".

There was also another kid 2 years younger, I was a junior at this time and he was a little small but loved to play football at lunch with the rest of us. His problem is he had a mouth and did not know when to keep quiet and it caused him alot of grief. Well I liked his spunk and tried to work with him so he would not get so much grief but sad to say over Christmas break he committed Suicide. I feel like I failed him and I carry that with me today when it comes to looking after the weaker ones.

Thing is, after High School I joined the Marine Corps and served for 7 years and by the time I got out I was 6'2 and 225 solid.(now its 6'2 and not so solid LOL) and to this day I protect the weak and intimidate the bullies. I dont have to talk loud, I dont have to get physical, I just as my wife says "gets into his Marine Corps mood" and people back off.

I have taught my kids the same morals, stand up for yourself and for those that cannot and that has paid off. My oldest daughter has volunteered so many hours in a local hospital that they have set aside a 1500.00 scholarship for when she graduates, and has defended her autistic half brother more than once.

[rufus dog]

34. There was a kid I took out my Senior Year of HS

He was a junior and always picking on the weaker Seniors, trying to make a name for himself. Me and a friend made it a sport of being against him in every sport and picking up him, once in flag football we took turns throwing touchdowns over him, we would always tell him not to pick on kids or every day we would make his life hell. He never got it so one day he tripped a little kid when we were playing softball. He was actually on our team that day and my friend told him to catch, I was a base runner on third base. My friend took that bat and told me to get ready, then hit a soft little pop up to short, knowing what I had to do I tagged up and the bully tried to protect himself as I barreled over him at the plate. The PE Coach was standing there and I got up figuring I would be running for the rest of the week. He smiled and turned around, by the time the bully dusted himself off the coach was 15 yards away and pretended he didn't see a thing. The kid started screaming at me, "why the hell did you do that, the coach walked over and told him to run for the rest of the day, no cussing allowed!

[Ikonoklast]

35. One older kid in the neighborhood tried to.

He was bigger, but by no means badder. He hit me once, and I decked his ass. I might have broke his nose, I don't know, but blood shot out of it like a geyser. He didn't stick around to let me hit him again.

I didn't see him around for four years. I think he was more than a little scared of me after that.

I grew up with two brothers, and they hit harder than that fool. Hell, my older sister smacked us harder than that.

[Ladyhawk]

36. Yesterday, I passed an old bully on the way into a restaurant. (Goddamn small town.)

He and another boy beat me up during recess one day. (Yea! Two boys beat up a girl!) Interestingly, he was also my first kiss (under peer pressure). To this day, I hate kissing...wonder if that was part of it???

I had to pass by him on a narrow sidewalk. I was wearing dark glasses and looked down as I squeezed past, hoping he wouldn't recognize me.

I was harassed and bullied mercilessly, especially during junior high. I'm in my forties now and it still hurts. I would really like to move out of this town because every time I see one of the old bullies or even someone who reminds me of the old bullies, I start to stress out. It's a struggle to let it go, but I do try.

underground panther has a point. Bullying affects each person differently.

[pnwmom]

43. Sometimes the geographical cure works wonders. I wish you hadn't

gotten stuck in that town.

[Ladyhawk]

66. Me too. :(

I want a way out. Badly.

[BlooInBloo]

38. (1) Yes. (2) I could, but I wouldn't. I'm over it.

[hunter]

39. Don't have to.

Most of them have done a damn fine job torturing themselves, even the most "successful" among them.

Happiness eludes them, and a fecund few have raised new generations of bullies.

It's a wretched cycle.

[Posteritatis]

51. One of "mine" took a nice whack with the karma bat...

Gave me hell along with quite a few other people for seven years until I moved to a different city (which probably saved my life). I go my way, he goes his, and it turns out the smarmy little prick managed to get a free ride to either Harvard or Yale, I don't remember which.

Fast forward a couple of years. Friend of mine in my new town hands me a newspaper clipping; he recognized my hometown in it and asked me if I knew who was mention in it. It was the aforementioned bully, who was given the boot from university in the final semester of his degree. Turns out he was trying to use school finds to, I shit you not, operate a sweatshop in Southeast Asia. No idea what happened to him since, nor do I care, but that little incident dropped a big dollop of closure onto my memories of that town.

[madamesilverspurs]

40. Yep, junior high.

Girl across the street, my age but taller and kind of beefy. Her dad looked like a tall and somewhat heavy Don Knotts (weird the things we remember, yes?) Anyway, he'd go on business trips and bring home presents for his kids. Strange presents. One time he brought her a switchblade, which she used to relieve us of our lunch money. And she threatened to really hurt us if we told. She was eventually observed in the act by a neighborhood parent, and the word spread to other parents resulting in her being totally shunned; good for us, but her younger brother became her constant target as a result. I wound up going to a different high school, but I heard years later that she'd threatened some guy into taking her to a school dance. Have no idea whatever happened to her, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was in prison somewhere. Creepy.

Wouldn't want to retaliate at this late date, but I'd have no interest in spending time in her vicinity. I'd probably just walk away if she were to show up. Of course, if she were to 'start something' she might have to deal with my cane. I won't look for a fight, but I won't be anyone's punching bag, either.

[flvegan]

42. Nope. The three times I had altercations with predators you might call bullies

they got fucked up enough that nobody else messed with me.

Thank you, Terry O'Reilly for teaching me in my very early years.

Today, I don't believe in violence and I wish no ill will on anyone that may have intended harm on me in the past.

[slampoet]

45. I have been hurting the small town where i was bullied. I have been punishing them for 20+ years.

Since i was bullied with the FULL knowledge and approval of coaches, parents, teachers and the principal I have had no mercy on the whole town.

I have cost them three businesses moving to town by a letter writing campaign. I have given the inside dirt on the mayor of the town to neighboring towns when they were up for state grants. I have helped talk tribal leaders into relocating a casino to other lands. I have convinced 3 medical residents not to go there. I have also dropped a dime on several illegal activities committed by elders of the town. One got serious jail time for smuggling.


On the positive side i have talked several kids in the town out of suicide by telling them about what i am doing. You'd be surprised at how tales of future financial revenge can give a poor kid something to live for. I have also offered support and a bed if they need to leave town. The new generation of the beaten kids are where i get my new information and helpers.

If the town had EVER ONCE stopped the bullying I would have run out of dirt a long time ago, but since they STILL keep allowing their children to victimize others, i always have fresh dirt.

The town has lost about 1/6 of it's population since i left at a time when neighboring towns have increased by 20-35%

[Manifestor_of_Light]

46. Seven whole years I was bullied.

Started in the 6th grade when I hit junior high.
Then in the 9th grade I went to a huge suburban high school (try 3800 students).

Mostly it was girls (I'm female) but some of it was boys too. Every goddamn day I got called "queer". This was long before the word gay came into use. I was straight but it didn't matter. Queer was the worst insult they could hurl at you.

I was a year and a half younger than everyone else. I started first grade at age five, because I could read very well and they did not know what else to do with me.

When I was ten years old, I started sixth grade. I was about four foot ten inches. I did have a growth spurt but it wasn't much. I am now five foot three. I see that everybody in this thread that decked a bully (at least the guys) all got bigger and taller. That didn't happen in my case. I am still five foot three. My parents were quite a bit taller than I am. My sister was also small.

I never learned to fight back. I refused to hit anyone because I was afraid I would break my hands. I was in orchestra & played piano and violin, so I would not risk it.

The girls would hit me in the head with basketballs in the gym. That hurts. They would say "You wanna meet us behind the furniture store after school so we can beatcha up??". Unbelieveable. :wtf:
This was when they had their fights off campus.

I couldn't play red rover, that was an invitation to serious injury. They would try to trip me and make me fall flat on my face. Teachers would never do a damn thing.

I've spent my life earning college degrees and having to achieve things because I couldn't get approval just for being me. My only worth in life was if I proved I was smart.

And no, I would not hit anyone anyway. I would just wish they could understand and change their behavior. But they undoubtedly won't. They are stupid and jealous.

Oh, and back then, smart girls did not have dates. I did not have very many dates. All my girlfriends wore glasses and made good grades, and did not have dates. One girl went to Rice University and got a Ph.D. in physics. My mother was embarrassed for me and wanted me to join ROTC so I would have dates!! That made my embarrassment worse!! And military types were the last people I wanted to hang out with, besides athletes and sports fans.

[Aristus]

47. I was 5'1" until I was a sophomore in high school. I was a huge (but tiny) target for bullies.

I was still only 5'6" when I graduated. I grew another four inches since high school.

Bullies finally stopped targeting me about ninth grade or so. I still resent the harassment, but I have no real desire for revenge. I live a happy life. And it has been said that the best revenge is living well...

[nadinbrzezinski]

48. I got a hell of a karma moment

one of the kids that bullied me to the point of tears... well years later I treated her as a patient

Suffice it to say I treated her with the same professional demeanor I reserved for every patient... and after I got the patient transfer done, I went out and screamed at the sky.

She made it, amazingly so did the baby... but I didn't give a fuck if she did. Others told me, that is the doctors

One of my docs asked me, since I always tried to go back to see patients in the ER, why not her. So I told him the story. He said that the fact that I treated her in a courteous, professional manner was a credit to me. He's right.

The rest, I have been known to avoid their usual watering holes when I go visit parents in Mexico City, or even cross the street here. Hurt them? No, but I have no need to be courteous either.

[Berry Cool]

49. I was bullied and/or ostracized all the way through school, pretty much

one way or another, for one reason or another.

I've come to terms with it, but I know I still bear the scars, and I'm all too quick sometimes to play the victim with people who are just asshats.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

50. 3rd grade/3 bullies/ 1947

I was asked by teacher/neighbor to help a new kid adjust.
He was from Poland, spoke no english and I no Polish.
The 3 bullies had stayed back a few years thus were
quite a lot bigger than the rest of us picked on him
immediately and he took it for 4 days.
On the 5th day, to my amazement, he beat the shit out of
all 3 at once. They didn't bother him again though soon after
he moved away, I often wonder what he had seen in his life
and what became of him.

The 3 bullies went on to rape a girl a year older than me
and leave her bound and naked in an unused shed not far
from the school. Searchers found her late that night.
The 3 bullies then did the first of a few stints at reform school.

Years later one of them, Clarence, was found dead in the trunk
of a car in Chicago. His bullet riddled body is buried in a
paupers grave about 40 miles from Boston in the town where he grew up.

[OHDEM]

52. Yes and not sure.

I was painfully shy as a kid, did well in school and was well behaved all of which for some reason made me a target when I was very young. I went to kind of a rough school and some of these kids were just violent. I can't even imagine what they were dealing with at home that made them so awful, so young. Kids are very cruel. Maybe it's just to be funny or popular, but they don't know how much it hurts.

Funny thing....A girl I hardly remember wrote me a letter about 10 years ago and sent it to my parents home. She was a recovering addict and was making amends and apparently felt guilty for bullying me at summer camp. While I vaguely remember her, I don't recall the incident AT ALL. I find it odd that she remembers it though so maybe some of them are human after all!

Now my little boy, nearly 5 is going to school and I'm so afraid for him. He already had 1 kid hit him in the face with a block, cutting his gums and lip. Teacher said she THINKS it was an accident, but my son isn't sure and neither am I. :-( I saw a survey from the school system and bullys are listed as thg biggest concern for students AND teachers. It continues....

[sakabatou]

53. Yes I was bullied when I was younger

And I can now DEFINITELY kick-ass (instructor in kung-fu/karate).

[Adsos Letter]

54. Yes and No...

I was pretty severely bullied for a couple of years by another kid...and by my dad until I was big enough to no longer be a target.

As for the kid...if I saw him now I wouldn't have any desire to do anything, unless he tried the same thing again; I've "developed" a bit since then (I'm 53 now), but otherwise I'm beyond the hate.

My dad...I've gotten beyond the desire to grind his face into the asphalt on the street outside, but it took awhile, and it left its scars.
Which is to say that I'm pretty much over it, but I am willing to take zero shit from him, where I will normally cut others some significant slack...and, as long as he's healthy and needs no physical assistance, I don't have much concern for him.

Which means I'm probably only past the "desire to inflict grievous bodily harm" phase...

[tabbycat31]

55. yes, to the point where I was afraid to go to school

from 4th grade to high school graduation. In 7th grade, my locker combo was public knowlege in the school, and the school lied to me every time and told me they insisted that they changed it. I had to carry everything with me, because anything (even a pen) left in my locker would have been stolen.

It was hard to "move on" because I was in a small school district and things just don't happen in small towns.

[Bombero1956]

56. I made peace a long time ago

I was bullied in the 4th grade. Years later I ran into the kid and he recognized me right away. He came over and told me he was sorry for all he and his friends had done to me. I told him it was forgotten and forgiven. I later found out his son was being bullied in school.

[Dr Fate]

57. Yeah- but never after 10th grade.

Not after I finally beat the crap out of the guy. Apparently I was scared over nothing.

I would probably resent some of the kids who teased me for being poor, etc more so than any physical bullying...

Either way, I can't see holding a grudge over what some kid did.

I hope they all are having nice lives, why not?

[devilgrrl]

58. Yes. Yes. And contacted one on facebook and let him know that I didn't appreciate the treatment.

He hid his profile picture... :evilgrin:

[slackmaster]

59. I defer to Klingon philosophy for my answer to that question

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Actually, the "bullies" I thought were bad in K-12 school have all turned out to be decent if not bright people. They're always nice to me at class reunions.

But there are one, maybe two individuals that I knew around age 19 or 20 with whom I have serious scores to settle. People who committed serious crimes and got away with them.

Some day.

(I'm 51.)

[Mari333]

60. yes I was bullied mercilessly

but no, I have forgiven them. in the long run, it taught me a lot of good things. compassion and empathy. how not to be a bully.
so It turns into a gift, if you let it.

[Echo In Light]

61. We moved a lot, so I had to get used to the various problems of being the 'new kid'

I had a few junior high enemies but had many more friends, most of which were already out of school. I dropped out junior yr, got my GED a handful of yrs later ...which was a breeze. Wish I'd have known that earlier, I would've just taken it in the 9th grade and been done :)

[NeedleCast]

62. My Bully Story

I wasn't bullied much after 9th grade because I had my "growth spurt" that didn't stop spurting until I had a line-backer sized frame. Before that, I was a skinny, awkward, geeky kid but really had only one or two antagonists. They main one, a kid named Drew, went out of his way to pick on me. I handled it okay, but was still scared of him until I got big.

He left our school my 9th grade year and came back when I was in 10th grade (he was still in 9th, don't know what happened). Because freshmen had different lunch period, I rarely saw him and he didnt mess with me, but I always carried a grudge.

About three years ago I was back home visiting my folks and Drew bagged my groceries at the local super market. That was revenge enough for me.

[Gman2]

64. I was the skinniest kid in seventh grade. So many wanted to hurt me.

They get power over others by using you as an example. Child terrorism. I was always a liberal. I would say I didnt want to hurt them. Then, I would ruin them. I always wrestled guys twice my size. Soon, I had a target on my back. I would have guys choosing me on that I had never met. I sometimes fought twice a week. I had whole gangs chasing me for months. It ruined my schooling. I was gifted, and bumped up in english and other things. Oh, at that time, it didnt help, that I had a bladder infection, and didnt make it to the bathroom a few times, in a big persons class. Tough times. Most of the bullied, were to become Police. One, was lobbied real young, for the intelligence services. Many times, they look for torturers among those without personal connections, or empathy. And an axe to grind.

[Soylent Brice]

65. YEPPERS. a LOT. no animosity though.

most of the folks who gave me shit are not doing so well these days. what's the saying, fate it seems is not without a sense of irony.

[Faygo Kid]

67. I must tell you, I didn't expect such a strong response to this. Kind of a universal experience.

And a nasty, brutish one that leaves scars.

[Soylent Brice]

68. i did.

people are assholes.

and most never grow up. mentally or emotionally.

maybe hazing is a bred-in genetic survival trait. who knows.

[BreweryYardRat]

69. Yes. Easily.

I wouldn't go after everyone who was ever rude to me, but there are five or six guys who owe me some catharsis and closure.

[HughBeaumont]

70. Relentlessly. And yes, I can hurt them now.

Only problem is, you're expected to "be the grown up". "Be the better person". Felonious assault is illegal, which is the only thing protecting various portly coward bitches from being hunted and pummelled even to this day.

I just want to do one. ONE. THAT would make me feel better and get the weight off my back. It sounds petty and immature, but I really don't care. They robbed me of what was supposed to be a formative and fun time in my life and turned me into a person that has an extreme distrust and dislike of popularity, authority figures and administrators that generally wash their hands of any conflict they're supposed to be intervening in. I got horrible grades as a result and also a strained relationship with my parents that took 10 years to repair completely. The reason being is because they took the typical approach of putting ME at fault for what happened to me and to this day they tell me to "Get over it".

It's no small wonder at the 20 year reunion I went to, the asshole count was unsurprisingly low. They know deep inside no one wants anything to do with them. An asshole knows he is one and often does nothing about it or ramps it up 10 times over. Some people who knew me initially thought it would be a bad idea for me to go to that thing; like it'd be a "saloon fight" or something.

Some assholes think "bullying builds character". Yeah, by "building character", they must mean suicidal/homicidal thoughts, rage and frustration, paranoia, a disdain for learning and school, destroyed self-esteem, misanthropy, misogyny and depression.

I guess in that sense, a sub-human assplow continuing the sensible act of threatening, teasing and assaulting someone smaller than them only because they can . . . builds a whole FUCKload of "character". Sons of bitches.

The solutions counselors offer to deal with bullies are laughable ("Use your words") at best and dangerous at worst. I mean, adults, parents: do you HONESTLY think a sociopathic fuckhead who has no care in the world and thinks he's invincible (because after all, the way a school deals with a bully is to punish the asshole AND the victim) is going to all of a sudden stop bullying a kid if said victim tells bully "you're hurting my feelings"? What the hell planet are you living in? In this one, that's pretty much giving the asshole carte blanche to ramp up his assholiness and have his asshole friends join in on the fun.

Senior year, I was so infuriated at the world and paranoid of everyone, I took a box cutter and a knife to school daily. Bullying reduced me to an animal; I was ready to break legs and stab. Later on in the year, I calmed down because of the fact that it was finally over.

I think it's a crime that to this DAY schools have learned absolutely NOTHING about Columbine and have done NOTHING to prevent another one from happening. When does it stop? When someone dies from being beaten to death? What is the watermark going to be for these goddamned adults and parents to start taking greater responsibility in dealing with this problem?