So, last Thursday I took the abortion pill.

[EmilyAnne]

Life is funny.

I was happily pregnant, having morning sickness, taking naps at odd hours of the day, reading lists of baby names, even craving pickles.
Last Wednesday, my husband and I go in for my first ultrasound and, lo and behold, there was NO BABY!
Just some pitiful, empty gestational sac; the source of all my morning sickness symptoms and the numerous positive pregnancy test results.
Its called anembryonic gestation or "blighted ovum."
I had never heard of such a thing, but supposedly its very common and one of the main reasons women miscarry.
Usually, they miscarry before ever having an ultrasound so they never know there wasn't an embryo.

I was given three options.
1. Wait for a natural miscarriage. It could happen in three hours, three days, three weeks, even a month. In the middle of a yoga class, at a grocery store, on the bus, while teaching english to my class of refugees...you get the picture.
2. Have a surgical procedure.
3. Take the "abortion pill" and go through the miscarriage at home.

I chose the pill.

I am writing this to any pro-life/ conservative lurkers who believe that allowing women access to this pill will lead to its rampant overuse.
This was a truly MISERABLE, painful experience.
No way in hell would a woman go through that and then decide to run out and have indiscriminate, unprotected sex simply because they now have such an "easy" way out.
That is an absolute bullshit claim made by people who are either ignorant or who are willfully ignoring the truth.

Thanks to Pennsylvania's conservative abortion laws, getting the pills required jumping through a lot of hoops at an emotionally vulnerable time.
The doctor (DOCTOR!) I had been seeing during the pregnancy was not authorized to prescribe them and I was sent to another office in the basement of the hospital.
That doctor could only prescribe, but he told me it would be illegal for him to actually have the pills in his office.
He also mentioned that this hospital (Magee Womens Hospital of UPMC) was the ONLY hospital in all of NE Pennsylvania that was allowed to have the pills on site.
But, they couldn't be kept at the regular hospital pharmacy where I filled my prescriptions for antibiotics and the pain killers I would need.
Nope.
I had to go to the second floor, down a hall, behind the cafeteria to a small window that apparently only administered the "abortion pill."

The ultrasound technician couldn't tell me that there was no embryo, but she shouldn't be a poker player because it was immediately obvious.
So I was sent to my doctor who had the right to make the official diagnosis, but not the right to prescribe the pills.
Then to another doctor who did not have the right to make the official diagnosis, did have the right to prescribe the pills, but had no right to actually give them to me.
Then to an on-premises pharmacy that had the right to give me the Schedule III drug Vicodin, but had no right to give me the "abortion pill."
Then to another seemingly secret on-premises pharmacy that had the right to give me the "abortion pill."

Arguments against the use of this pill for abortion include this beauty: it causes pain, cramping and bleeding.
NO SHIT!
Its a miscarriage. That's what happens.
Then they go on to say that the pill is an "easy way out," so it will be abused by irresponsible people who want to have sex without consequences.
Without consequences?
What about all that pain, cramping and bleeding?

Because I had a medical reason, the pills were covered by my insurance.
A woman taking the pills for an abortion would be paying between 350 and 650 bucks.
Again, not such an "easy way out."

Now I know what taking the "abortion pill" (Mifepristone and Misoprostol) is like.
Yes, its painful.
I've never felt so much pain in my life, in fact.
The idea that women would do this over and over again just for the hell of it is ridiculous.
The difficulty in acquiring the pill seems designed to encourage women to just give up before jumping through all the necessary hoops, especially if she is embarrassed to be discussing the pregnancy with so many strangers.

It pisses me off that the pro-life agenda even affected someone like me who needed the pills for another reason altogether.
They weren't insurmountable odds, just random and silly obstacles.
I was lucky to be able to remain in the same building through this all so whenever I felt the need to start crying about the shocking news that there was NO BABY, I could find some lonely corridor to duck into for a few moments.
Another women who received such disappointing news in, say, Meadville, PA would not have access to these pills unless she drove two hours to my hospital.
That would be a very sad drive, indeed.

Thanks, pro-lifers!

[Vidar]

1. Obviously, you did the right thing.

[BeliQueen]

123. I'm so sorry for your loss

[Stellabella]

2. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Emotional and physical pain are both hard to bear.

And I wish boils and scourge on those nosy right wing a**holes who think they have the right to decide what other people do with their bodies.

There's really a lot of plain old hate in the right wing. They enjoy the suffering of others. And they enjoy judging other people. But if something like that happened to THEM, they would want every option quickly, easily, and inexpensively available to them. What hypocrites.

[goclark]

106. I'm sorry too ~

[Mz Pip]

3. I am so sorry you had

to go through all of this. Not only did you have to deal with the disappointment and pain of having to go through a miscarriage you have to deal with rules that are there to obstruct your access to medical treatment.

Wishing you a speedy and painless recovery. :hug:

[Patiod]

4. Thanks for this information

And sorry about your dashed hopes, EA.

Friends who have had miscarriages say it sucks. Don't know what you would call this, but it sounds like it sucks.

[Not Me]

5. What is absolutely horrifying is that the laws

were made by men who do not have to deal with the consequences.

I am sorry that your pregnancy did not produce the child that you lovingly wanted. The emotional pain must equal your physical pain.

(((hugs)))

[Chulanowa]

59. Well, to be fair, dipshittery is non-discriminatory

There are lots of anti-choice women in this world. I categorize them in the same group that I lump those women in Africa who perform clitoridectomies on thirteen year-olds. It's the same mindset, I think

[ismnotwasm]

6. Thank you for posting this

I'm glad you found a solution for yourself, and were willing to share your experience. The forced birthers use that bullshit argument about "abuse" as a red herring. I think they actually believe it though as delusional and sick minded as they are.

Bottom line though, it's your choice and your uterus, and in this case it sounds like your painful tragedy.

All my sympathy as well as considerable empathy to you :hug:

[babylonsister]

7. Awww, EmilyAnne, my

heart hurts for you and your husband. And thank you for educating us. :hug:

[Autumn]

8. I'm so sorry EmilyAnne

:hug: I am so glad you had the option to handle your miscarriage on your terms. We must never forget what it was like before Roe VS Wade and we can never go back to that.

[Warpy]

9. This is what happens when PREACHERS

try to practice medicine!

I'd say shame on the lot of them for making you go through this farce, but I'm afraid men who set themselves up on pedestals to dictate behavior to the rest of the human race lack that capacity.

This kind of thing makes me absolutely furious!

[cali]

10. I am so sorry.

thank you so much for sharing this.

[Arugula Latte]

11. It is RIDICULOUS you had to jump through those hoops at that difficult time.

I hope with conservatus rightwingacus out of power, we will have easier access to the medical paraphernalia we need.

:hug:

[angstlessk]

12. I had no idea...a miscarriage is a horrendous experience..what you went thru was an atrocity

I am so sorry for your loss and of course your hope for a happy ending was not only a sad end..but you were forced to go through so many different layers of anti-life (anti-abortion) it is truly an atrocity against you!

[grace0418]

13. I'm so sad for you and so furious at the same time.

:hug:

[mrs_p]

14. i'm so sorry for all you have had to go through

both the run-around with the doctors and the miscarriage. as someone who's had difficulty conceiving and maintaining pregnancy, i really feel for you.

you are in my thoughts.

[virgdem]

15. Thank you for sharing this important information...

I'm so sorry that you had to endure this heartache while dealing with such ridiculous abortion laws. I've had friends who had to have abortions for one reason or another (single and pregnant mostly) and the decision to have an abortion was no picnic for them. You absolutely did the right thing in your situation and I hope that you have a chance to have another child someday.

[Ocracoker16]

16. Thanks for sharing this story

I get very frustrated when pro-life individuals act like the abortion pill is an easy form of birth control for irresponsible women who get pregnant over and over again. They act like you just take it with a glass of water and magically the fetus dissolves in several days. Your experience was that it was no day at the beach considering the bleeding, cramps, and other icky physical symptoms. It is very hard to obtain making allegations of it being a quick way out of pregnancy seem stupid. They make you jump through tons of hoops to get the abortion pill. Ofcourse, you have to go to a different place to get the painkillers and antibiotics you need. It sounded like you went on a scavenger hunt all over the hospital. It is interesting how hard they make it to get the abortion pill even for women like you who had a miscarriage.

I appreciate this post, because it proves what I have always thought to be true. I commend you for putting this information out there for the benefit of others considering how much you must be going through with your recent miscarriage.

[plcdude]

17. I am sorry

that you had to go through ALL of it. I am old man now but early in my professional career as a Lutheran minister in the early 70's I helped young women make "choices" that sometimes involved traveling long distances and illegal activities but safe and healthy conditions. We have come a little way but only a little way. Your story is important to others and should be shared for the positive consequences it can yield. Just today I was listening to "Fresh Air" on NPR about a woman who chose to terminate a pregnancy. There is a program also on public radio known as "the story" http://thestory.org/ you might consider sharing reality with your story. Hang in there and make some lemonade if you can.

[shireen]

93. thank you ...

you are a kind compassionate empathic person (as Republicans would note, totally not qualified for the Supreme Court).
I'm deeply grateful to you for helping those women.
:hug:

[ejpoeta]

18. i am so sorry for your pain!! I had a miscarriage a few years back

and remember the ultrasound tech turned the screen away and was very quiet. you KNOW something is wrong but they won't tell you!!

i waited weeks and the doctor was just about going to take it out when i had my miscarriage at home. it was awful!! But i digress.... my heart goes out to you. and keep trying.

and the pro unborn yet oddly enough anti after born folks can go bleep themselves!! they think they know everything and they really don't know much of anything about anything.

[yellerpup]

19. So sorry for your disappointment and the physical ordeal

you had to endure. You needed care and compassion and not political interference. The "easy way out" does not exist for a pregnant woman. Thank you for having the patience to write a coherent and moving account of your experience. I never would have guessed that a needed (legal) medical procedure would be so complicated. You deserved better treatment. :hug:

[Soylent Brice]

20. sad that they want that kind of control over other human beings.

i am sorry to hear of your loss, and the emotional pain as well as the physical.

you did the right thing.

[kimmerspixelated]

21. Thanks for your profound and touching post.

I agree with all your sentiments, and am sorry you had to experience it.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

22. How brave and brilliant you are!

To take the time, to use the energy - and, yes, to burn off some of that rage - to tell your story here was both brave and brilliant. While nothing changes the circumstances, nothing assuages your loss - nothing ever will - you have given a great gift to people who will never endure the trauma and attempted shaming and difficulties that you did.

I would urge you to send a copy of this to Huffington Post, to Keith Olbermann, to Rachel Maddow, to Ms. magazine, to anyone or anyplace you think might pick it up and run with it. I've never read anything like this, and it needs to get out there.

Everyone should read this. And they should never forget it. I know I won't.

Good luck, and heal well, Emily Anne ................

[msanthrope]

23. I am so sorry for your loss, and I truly wish for your complete recovery. n/t

[OHDEM]

24. I'm sorry for your loss.

And the pain you're going thru.

While I haven't experienced what you're going thru, I know that life is not simple. That's why I'm pro-choice. No women should have others intruding on her personal medical choices. I wish that others realized that's what this is!

Good luck to you! I'm sending you well wishes for your body and heart at this difficult time!

[malaise]

25. I share your pain and

your anger.
Karma is too good for pro-lifers.

[hootinholler]

26. Isn't that like the gubmint controlling your healthcare?

Isn't that what the ignorant are all upset about with single payer?

I'm sorry for your tribulations and the sad news.

-Hoot

[Triana]

27. how REDICULOUS that you had to go thru this at a time like this

I'm so sorry. :hug:

They can gripe about public, single-payer health care being the equivalent of gov't "controlling" your healthcare all they want - seems to me that's already going on in spades - with private insurance - like yours.

What a horrible experience - made worse by bureaucratic rediculousness and an ignorant, controlling Taliban in the US.

I hope you're OK and feeling better - and that you do successfully conceive again later if that's what you want. You deserve the joy that has been taken from you and I hope you are able to have it in spite of this horrible experience.

Thank you for sharing such a personal and difficult experience so others can learn from it.

Best to you always, EmilyAnne.

[Left Is Write]

28. I'm so sorry.

I had a blighted ovum in the fall of 1998 (and like you, I had never heard of it before), and my only options were to wait for a natural miscarriage or have surgery. I chose the surgery.

I applaud your post.

:hug:

[democrank]

29. Here`s a hug, EmilyAnne.

I`m so very sorry.

[SeattleGirl]

30. First, I am so sorry for the emotional pain you are going through.

And I am so sorry for the physical pain you also had to go through, after jumping all the hoops to get the pill.

And I want to thank you so much for sharing such a personal story with us. :hug:

[stillcool]

31. Damn...that's insane..

The government probably doesn't protect nuclear weapons as well as they do that pill. What an awful thing for you to have to go through..and for no reason. :hug:

[spinbaby]

32. I hope you're feeling better

The anti-abortion folks always seem to think that women would just have abortions willy nilly if they were allowed. I have a friend who had one of those demonized "partial birth" abortions because her baby had a lethal birth defect that was also linked to toxemia in the mother. She lived in PA, too. There was only one doctor who did the procedure and you wouldn't believe the hoops she had to jump through.

[renate]

33. I'm so sorry

What an horrific, surreal experience, to have to go through so much emotional pain and then the physical pain in addition to all that. It's so unfair.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry about your loss.

[Ohio Joe]

34. Words fail me...

No one should ever have to go through such non-sense.

[azmouse]

35. I had a 'blighted ovum' pregnancy 10 years ago.

It was the worst thing I've ever been through. I had a D&C done the same day I found out.

I'm so sorry this happened for you. Know that you are not alone.
Many other women feel your pain too. :hug:

[Starry Messenger]

36. (hugs)

Thank you for telling your story. I'm so sorry for your loss. Anyone who has been through it knows that "abortion on demand" like you are going through a quickie-mart is a crock of shite. :hug:

[noiretextatique]

37. EmilyAnne...thanks for sharing your story

and venting all of your righteous anger. your story is the real world consequence of allowing religionists to determine health care policy. it's appalling, and it's dangerous to the lives and well-being of women.
:hug: i am so sorry for your loss.

[Turbineguy]

38. Thanks for your informative post.

It's strange that some would say "it's the easy way out" when that is a lie and in fact would lead to irresponsible use.

My Wife had a miscarriage over 20 years ago. It was followed by a "D&C". I was very upset about the whole thing, but the her Doctor told me it was a very common thing and not to worry about it. (Nature's way of fixing an error and all that.)

[Richardo]

39. Sorry for all that you and your husband had to endure.

...but especially you. :hug:

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

40. How many pro-lifers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. Two to put in the new bulb, and one to make posters saying that the bulb was lit the moment they started screwing.

[Downwinder]

41. Politicians should be prosecuted

for practicing medicine without a license.

[horseshoecrab]

42. Dear EmilyAnne...

I'm sorry for everything that you've had to endure. You were brave and good to write this post. Thank you for it.

:hug:

horseshoecrab

[demigoddess]

43. those laws are based on ignorance and stupidity

I have a few tales of my own to tell. Never had an abortion or wanted one but the pro-lifers still yell at you if you have a miscarriage or have a child with birth defects. I know. Even doctors. Lousy stupid people.

[Solly Mack]

44. K&R

[Captain Hilts]

45. My best to you and your husband in this difficult time. nt

[Stinky The Clown]

46. .....

:hug:

[MadMaddie]

47. EmilyAnne I am sorry that you had to experience this situation

To them the "others", they do not care about your health or any other womans health. The believe in "Forced Pregnancies", no matter what the cost.

I am glad you are okay.

[nichomachus]

48. The biggest lie of all

women get pregnant because abortions are so easy and so much fun.

That is just the usual bullshit from the religious right. Abortion is a serious thing -- no matter what your reason for choosing it.

Having a bunch of religious wackos howling at you doesn't make it any easier at all.

It's not like you have women saying "Gee, I can't get a nail appointment. Maybe I'll get an abortion instead."

Fuck the religious right.

[EFerrari]

50. I've never heard a woman say, "Cool! My abortion's today!"

(((((((((EmilyAnne)))))))))))

[Arkansas Granny]

105. Yeah. That makes as much sense as a woman saying, "Great,

I'm pregnant. Now I can have that abortion I've always wanted".

It's not as casual a process as the pro-lifers would have people believe, and not an easy decision for most women to make.

[JerseygirlCT]

49. Oh that's heartbreaking. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

What an awful surprise.

And yes, there's no way you should have been put through all of that. It's ridiculous.

[crazylikafox]

51. k&r

Thank you for telling your story.

[AwakeAtLast]

52. Thank you for sharing such a painful part of your life with us

There will be someone who will read this post and benefit from your candor. Take it easy and I will be thinking of you!

:hug:

[cherish44]

53. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage

Yeah that's one thing the pro-lifers don't always realize is that terminating a pregnancy isn't always just because a woman nonchalantly decides she doesn't want the baby. Sometimes there are medical factors. I heard a very bizarre story about this woman in a fundie church that had an ectopic pregnancy and refused to let the doctors terminate the pregnancy. She wanted to get her church to pray that God will move the fetus from her tube into her uterus via a miracle. I don't know what the outcome was or even if it's a true story but hearing about certain Christian sects who refuse medical treatment in lieu of prayer, it wouldn't surprise me if it's true. Thing is if true, that woman most likey died. Sad.

Hope you find comfort at this difficult time and that you'll have a happy and healthy pregnancy very soon!

[lunatica]

54. Thank you for telling us about this experience

You are very strong to be able to write about it and to describe the stupidity that surrounds this pill.

[Olney Blue]

55. I want the government to leave us alone in this decision.

[kiva]

56. I am so sorry EmilyAnne,

both for the physical pain and for the disappointment this brought to you and your husband. Thank you for writing this, and hope you are feeling well.

[truedelphi]

57. So sad and I am so sorry to hear how backwards this nation is.

Words cannot express my sympathy for you and anger at the "Godly" people whose ignorance is destroying women every day of the week.

[Dappleganger]

58. Big hugs to you.

Thanks for sharing this--you're very courageous.

[Mnemosyne]

60. .

:hug:

[BlooInBloo]

61. Hope you're doing well - at least as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

[femrap]

62. I am sorry you had to go through this....

The anti-choice people have numerous problems...they seem to have little control over their lives so they feel the need to interfere in the lives of others.

Well, I won't be living in PA. It's amazing that these laws are enacted and women don't know about them. Maybe you can change them someday.

Good luck to you!

[SalviaBlue]

63. Thank you for sharing your story.

[HillWilliam]

64. Dear Heavens, my heart goes out to you

HillbillyBob and I are sending healing energy and hugs to you and your husband. :cry: :hug: :pals:

[Pacifist Patriot]

65. Please accept my condolences for your loss.

I cannot tell you how sorry I am you had to experience the added "insult to injury," though that phrase is woefully inadequate to your situation.

:hug:

[MagickMuffin]

66. There is nothing "funny" about what happened to you

I'm so sorry you had to endure such sad news and make such a difficult decision. You did the right thing, no doubt.

Please consider sending this post to your Representatives. They need to be educated with the facts about legislation they pass and they need to hear it from someone with a personal perspective and not from someone who has never experienced the pain and obstacles who had to go through to obtain a LEGAL medication. Like you stated that the pill is restricted to one hospital in the NE PA where it is not available to anyone within a close proximity of the hospital. Who knows maybe you could be the one to change the draconian laws restricting the availability of the pill.

Best of luck to you EmilyAnne, my thoughts are with you and your husband :hug:

[RubyDuby in GA]

67. I hope you and your husband are able to concieve again when you are ready.

I am truly sorry for your loss and I am outraged for you that you had to jump through so many hoops!

[DesertRat]

68. I'm sorry

:grouphug:

[Raine]

69. I think you need

a BIG hug ... :hug:

[OmahaBlueDog]

70. Thank you for sharing that

I hope that sharing helps you heal and move forward.

[mwooldri]

71. *hugs*....

I'm sorry for your miscarriage. It was devastating news to my wife when she had a miscarriage early on in pregnancy (a natural one - 1 month in) and if she miscarried now (she's 20 weeks) I'd fear for her mental sanity.

And yes, the laws surrounding the administration of a couple of drugs in your state are definitely messed up.

Right now, concentrate on you. You've had a dreadful experience. If children are in your future and it is what you and your husband desire, then I hope you are soon blessed with child.

Big hugs to you and your husband.

[Ilsa]

72. I'm so sorry about your lost pregnancy. I know it causes both

physical and emotional pain. My last known miscarriage was very crampy and very uncomfortable, even painful, but probably not as bad as trying to "get it over with" using the meds so you wouldn't have any public embarrassing situation. I couldn't believe what you had to go through just to get your script filled.

Between 350 and 650 bucks? Holy crap! For two drugs that have around awhile, too, IIRC.

I hope you'll consider sending the content of your post to your state representatives there in PA and also in Washington. There is no excuse for legislators trying to practice medicine like this.

[cmf]

73. I am so sorry you had to go through that!

:hug:

I'd love to find these women the right wingers point to who think that any abortion, pill or otherwise, is easy.

[villager]

74. Been through a miscarriage, early in life (but then, only from guy POV)

Still, I know what a painful experience it is, emotionally, physically, etc.

All condolences/good wishes to you, and thanks for your bravery in posting...

[sandnsea]

75. That is heartbreaking all the way around

Heartbreaking and despicable. I don't know how these people got to be completely devoid of compassion. Warm thoughts to you and your hubby.

[StarTurtle]

76. I am sorry for your loss.

And I am sorry for the cold and compassionless "care" that was forced upon you by those who think that a zygote is more deserving of concern than a woman.

[FourScore]

77. Just so you know... I had a blighted ovum,

and got pregnant with a healthy, beautiful baby two months after the surgical procedure. I know you are devastated right now, but you can try again very soon.

This is an excellent post. Thank you for expressing it with such clear articulation. Bookmarking, kicking and recommending.

:hug:

[supernova]

78. So sorry for your loss EmilyAnne

and thank you for having the courage to share your story with RU486.

It will be a great day indeed when women are considered fully human and fully cognizant.

[defendandprotect]

79. Let's hope Obama will change some of this insanity . . .

Maybe a copy of this in a letter would help?

Unbelievable experience and hope that you are feeling OK now ---

one thing is clear, anyone who works to create this harm to women certainly

doesn't care about them.

Trust that soon you'll be on the baby track again -- best wishes!

[InfiniteThoughts]

80. words fail me ...

i want you to remember that there are good days round the corner. Stay strong.

[JDPriestly]

81. Thanks for posting this. Sounds like a really

awful experience.

[PopSixSquish]

82. I'm So Sorry to Hear About This

You are in my prayers.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

83. I'm so very sorry you had to go through all this

but so grateful to you for telling us about it. Thank you.

:hug:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

84. Emily Anne, I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

My experience with misoprostol:

I'm in my 50s and past menopause. I had to take misoprostol so I would start bleeding, to open my cervix, so the doctor could do an endometrial biopsy.

I had horrible cramps and general weakness. It was as bad or worse than the worst menstrual cramps I ever had. All I could do was take 800 mg of Motrin and it was still awful.

If this is anything like your experience with two drugs instead of one, it is certainly not pleasant at all. It was very disabling.

The anti-abortion crowd loves to minimize the hazards and dangers of pregnancy and delivery, and certainly don't understand how a miscarriage can be a wrenching experience.

Dr. Ron Paul has been an OB/GYN for over 30 years and he says he has never had a patient with a life threatening pregnancy. He is lying. Absolutely lying.

[pnwmom]

85. Thank you, EmilyAnne, for your very thoughtful and useful post.

You might want to think about sending it to a pro-choice group, in case they would want to publicize it further. You tell your outrageous story very well.

Best of luck to you and your husband in your next pregnancy!

[southerncrone]

86. Thanks for sharing this very personal story with us.

The same can be said for "regular" abortion.
It is NOT a reasonable form of birth control; also very painful & emotionally draining.

The anti-abortionists want CONTROL, that is all. If they truly cared about "babies" they would be adopting those who are unwanted & putting their money where their mouths are.

Take care of yourself & allow yourself to heal physically & emotionally.

[Hekate]

87. EmilyAnne, I'm so very sorry that this painful situation was compounded by judgmental RW idiots...

:hug: to you from an old Crone, and may the Mother bless you in the fullness of time.

I'm sure there are or will be others in this thread who recommend that you send what you wrote out as an Op-Ed piece if you feel that you can. It's a powerful testament to the reality of a woman's life, and brought tears to my eyes. Perhaps it would open a few more eyes.

:hug: again. My heart is with you.

Hekate

[Wetzelbill]

88. I am sorry you went through this

Thank you for sharing.

[LittleGirl]

89. how brave you are to share this

I am crying a river of tears for you and I hope that you can conceive again soon and have that baby. Thank you so much for sharing this very personal story and I hope that things get better because you shared it.

[fortyfeetunder]

90. EmilyAnne you have my deepest sympathy

I am sorry you miscarried. Words can't express the sorrow I have for you and your husband at this time. I am firmly in your corner to defend the right to choose.

Thank you for sharing your story. I regret you had to go through all this.

:hug:

[comtec]

91. **HUGZ and comfort**

My wife and I are trying to have a baby.
I can only imagine the devastation to find out it was a non-pregnancy.
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss and the UTTER bullshit they put you through.

I wish you and your husband the best of luck, and I hope you are able to be 'properly' pregnant soon.

I wish you both well and luck.

[shireen]

92. just want to add my support too ...

there are so many thoughtful posts in this thread, and i share those same sentiments.
I hope you'll consider emailing that OP to the WH, i really want the president to see this (he reads about 10 letters a day, picked by staff)

:hug:

[tavalon]

94. I'm so sorry you had to go through this

I had a blighted ovum about 10 years ago and chose to have the miscarriage naturally but it was no picnic as well. And I waited a month before it came.

Goddess, we are such a fucked up society.

[DFW]

95. That is a perverse process to get the care you needed.

It is high time that the right-wing extremists who caused you to go through those changes
were relieved of their "Pro-Life" label. They are NOT pro-life, just anti-(someone else's)
abortion.

Over here, a Catholic politician from Bavaria (a heavily Catholic area) was crusading against
abortion rights in Germany--until it came out that he had forced his mistress (he was married)
to have an abortion so he wouldn't have a child out of wedlock. Americans don't have a monopoly
on that kind of behavior.

[ecstatic]

96. :( Sorry, I guess the objective is to make women feel as degraded

as possible. To have to see so many people and jump through so many hoops is a disgusting, horrifying practice that needs to be changed, ASAP. The closest experience I've had was trying to get a hold of Plan B several years ago (back when prescriptions were required). I know it's wrong, but I hope one of the more vocal "Pro-lifers" experiences the same thing one day.

[DrZeeLit]

97. Hopefully, someone in this scenario was kind to you? I hope you were treated with care and grace?

What I mean by that is.... I am sitting here with tears on my cheeks HOPING that someone in this cycle of idiocy gave you a kind word or a pat on the hand or a soft smile.

I am hoping that NOBODY gave you "that look" -- you know what I mean. Not having a clue about your specific situation, some clerks or staff who had to handle the pill or the paperwork might take that opportunity to judge you... and I'm hoping NOT. I'm hoping everyone was kind.

Women need advocates not "hoops," caretakers not gatekeepers, and kindness not scorn.

I am hoping.

And sending my love to you.

One day I also hope you are given the chance to nurture a life to full term -- as you most certainly have the compassion to be a terrific parent, pickle cravings and all.

[Mad_Dem_X]

98. Thank you for sharing this

And I am so sorry for everything that you had to go through.

[Justice]

99. You are very courageous to share this with us.

I am very sorry for your loss, and for the pain you went through. Your courage to share this with us is amazing. Your story has completely changed my understanding of the abortion pill and how it works.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

100. I am so sorry that you had to go through this experience... gentle correction they are anti-choicers

not pro-life. You cannot allow them to define the debate.

:hug:

[Stargazer09]

101. I'm sorry you had to go through that

I, too, had a "blighted ovum" during one of my pregnancies. My doctor never offered me the pill, and he didn't want to perform a D&C. He told me to wait it out.

Four weeks later, on Election Day 2004, my body finally figured out that there was no baby. Those four weeks were horrible; there's little that's worse than feeling pregnant but knowing that it's all for nothing.

You did the right thing. You would have had the pain anyway, but at least you didn't have to prolong the suffering.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm even more sorry that you were forced to endure all of that embarrassment along the way.

:hug:

[feslen]

102. re: sorry for your loss

and thanks for sharing your experience with us to let us be more informed!

we should all try and ignore those ignorant asshole "pro-lifers".

[Stargazer09]

120. They would be easier to ignore

If they didn't have so much control over everything already! :mad:

A woman should not have to jump through so many hoops just to get the medical care she needs. Could you imagine the outcry if men had to explain their erectile disfunction to half the hospital before being given a prescription for Viagra?

[RedCloud]

103. Dear Emily Anne

Thank you for your courage to share this with us. I am saddened for your loss of expectant life.

The womb is not a gentle area as often depicted. Rather it is often a contesting area. Quite frequently twins are there from the outset, yet one of the members is simply reabsorbed by the mother's body. This is one reason why ultrasounds are delayed, so as not to shock the would be parents. This is called the case of the vanishing twin. Pro-lifers would not want this info out there.

Also and I hope I do not embarrass anyone, but there are hundreds of millions of sperm cells and it isn't simply one sperm cell to an egg. Hundreds reach during the critical seconds. More than likely more than one will reach the egg and "over-fertilize" it. This excess of too much genetic info also causes spontaneous abortions. And pro-lifers would be against that knowledge as well as it indicates:

A) The Grand Artificer does not magically select one sperm cell to an egg.

B) The Grand Artificer is responsible for the overwhelming majority of abortions and add to that the fetal member re-absorption.

[Arkansas Granny]

104. I am so sorry to hear this.

Having had two miscarriages myself, I know the sense of loss you are feeling. It is absolutely heartless that you had to endure this type of treatment at the same time. Thanks for sharing your story. I only wish that those who oppose making this prescription more readily available will hear it and realize how silly their objections really are.

[BonnieJW]

107. Emily,

so sorry for all the hoops, but also sorry for your loss. I miscarried twice and it was heartbreaking each time. It sounds like this baby was one who was wished for and I send my hopes for your wish to come true soon.

[cpompilo]

108. I am so sorry for your loss and pain you experienced.

Our healthcare system seems designed to crumple us up at every turn and throw us to the curb like litter. What a nightmare you had to endure.

[Amaya]

109. i am so sorry...

:hug:

i know how painful a miscarriage can be.

and what you went through is outrageous!
thank your post.

[sinkingfeeling]

110. I'm so sorry that you and your husband had this disappointing news. I'm also sorry that you had such

a terrible time getting the medical assistance you needed. It's terrible that the crazies get to make all the rules.

I have had one full term pregnancy and one abortion at 5 weeks. I have always said that the abortion was more painful than the birth and that no woman in her right mind would keep getting pregnant to have abortions!

[kag]

111. I've had seven "miscarriages"

First of all, I'm so sorry for your pain. That kind of loss is unbearable, and then to have to deal with the pain on top of it is absolutely brutal.

I know, because i had seven miscarriages (medically termed "spontaneous abortions") during my child-bearing years. After the first two, and lots of invasive, painful, and embarrassing tests, we found out that I had a chromosome translocation that causes my risk for miscarriage to be way higher than 50%.

The first time I was right at three months along. I was told I needed a DNC to reduce the risk of infection. It was an unbelievably painful procedure, especially because I was having to expel a dead fetus--a pregnancy I desperately wanted.

I had two more dnc's because of the timing of the pregnancies, and twice I aborted so early that I needed no intervention. Mixed in with the first six miscarriages I fortunately had two beautiful, perfect children. We thought we'd try for one more.

I got to seven weeks, and truly believed I was "out of the woods," but then the all-too-familiar-ultrasound-that-revealed-no-heartbeat happened. I knew even before the US tech and the doctor that the baby was gone. This time I decided to "let it happen." It was so unbelievably painful, bloody, and emotional that we decided two kids was enough, and we didn't want to go through that much pain anymore.

Fortunately through all of this I had reasonable doctors who allowed me choices, but believe me--THERE'S NO EASY CHOICE!!! I wish the idiot right-wingers could go through (or at least empathize with) my experience before they blow hard about "teenagers who want to fit into their prom dresses."

[marauding liberal]

112. EmilyAnne, I am very sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry you had to jump through all those hoops. That is so wrong. Thank you for your very enlightening post.

[redqueen]

113. I'm sorry they caused you to have to go through that extra red tape.

Sorry this even happened to you... and here's hoping sometime soon we can stop religious fanatics from making others endure this extra hardship.

:pals:

[mikelgb]

114. Stunning Story, a great read and powerful messages about abortion and the healthcare system

sorry for your pain

[myrna minx]

115. I'm so sorry EmilyAnne.

Thank you so much for writing your very personal story. :hug:

[onlyadream]

116. I'm really sorry that you had to go thru all that

at such a horrible time in your life. But thanks for sharing - it gives us all more info to present our arguements to the idiots who don't get it.

[sampsonblk]

117. I hope you are feeling better

I know it must have been very difficult.

In a separate thread, I am going to post some abortion statistics.

[bluescribbler]

118. I can't even imagine

The pain, suffering and embarrasment you went through. I am so sorry.

[peace13]

119. Emily Anne, I am sorry for your pain.

I send you energy, strength, and love. I am so sorry for your loss. I am appalled that you had to go through such a dehumanizing maze to get the medical help that you needed. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Peace and love, to you, Kim

[ceile]

121. So sorry you had to go through that.

I live in TX and took the "abortion pill" several years ago. I have never felt such pain in my entire life. We may have a 24 hour waiting period, have to read crap that links breast cancer to abortion and now there's a bill that will require doctors to offer the woman a chance to view an ultrasound of the fetus, but nothing near what women in PA apparently have to go through.

[MissDeeds]

122. So sorry for the pain and disappointment you've endured

What an emotional roller coaster. Thanks, EmilyAnne, for sharing your experience in the hopes of sparing others the same trauma. :hug:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

124. So Sorry You Had To Go Through This.

But a great OP to really get the message out.

My deepest sympathies.

:hug:

[wisteria]

125. It disgusts me to see how our legislatures play around with women's rights.

How dare they put obstacles in our way when we are trying to protect our health and well being. No one should have to go through all of this just to obtain a legal and needed medication.
I am sorry that your happiness has been shattered and for your difficult journey in trying to obtain a medication that should have been readily available to you.

[beac]

126. Thanks for sharing your story. When I was a teenager, I volunteered at a womens clinic

that performed abortions as part of their services. I spoke to women on the phone to set up appointments and helped them with paperwork on the day of their procedure.

It was gut-wrenching.

The rightwing nonsense about women just skipping off merrily to have abortions INFURIATES me. :mad:

[Kajsa]

127. I am so sorry, EmilyAnne!

I am so sorry for your loss!
:hug:

What a horrendous thing to go through.
Adding insult to injury is the way you
had to go to hell and back to get the pill.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.
It's a personal story many don't take into
consideration when discussing this subject.

You've been there.

[marlakay]

128. My daughter had a tubal pregnancy this week

and because of past operations, scaring and other factors they didn't want to do a operation again so they gave her a shot of chemo to dissolve it.

My daughter is very pro life but the doctors told her she had no choice the baby couldn't live where it was.

Having this shot made it possible for her to maybe not have to have surgery, it is suppose to cause a miscarriage like yours, I guess they needed something stronger than the pill for her. She has a 70% chance of it working so we are waiting to see.

For me who is pro choice I am glad she had a choice, a choice not to have a operation only that there are other options.

I did not choose this time to tell her about that. Maybe years from now when emotions are calm I will talk to her about choice and being pro life.

I am sorry you have to go through this too. Hang in there.

[Sweet Freedom]

129. I too, had a blighted ovum in 1996

Surgery was my only option (my doctor was not willing to let me miscarry.) I missed a week of work due to the pain, cramping and bleeding. (Not to mention the risks associated with surgery.)

I am sorry for your loss; I am grateful you had a choice in your well-being. :hug:

(By the way, two years later, I had a healthy baby. Should you choose to try again, I wish for you a healthy baby and an uncomplicated pregnancy.)

[uppityperson]

130. Best wishes to you and thank you for posting this. Hugs to you too

[keepCAblue]

131. Misoprostol? Yikes, my dog was prescribed that to protect her GI tract from ulcers...

Trade name is Cytotec...

[Dorian Gray]

132. I am so sorry for your loss Emily Anne

The whole experience must have been extraordinarily painful for you, and to have to go through the added hoops only added to your burden.

Hugs to you for your loss.

[ObamaKerryDem]

134. So sorry to hear of your loss..

...and the added miserable experience forced upon you by the narrowmindedness of those people. This has got to be one of the biggest arguments for choice I have ever seen. I'm just sorry you had to deal with all that when you were already going through one of the most painful things anyone could ever go through. Thanks for sharing your story with us, though and for speaking out. You have my condolences as well as my admiration. :hug:

k&r.

[fizzgig]

133. to say that i am sorry that you had to endure that seems inadequate

it amazes and infuriates me that the forced birthers think that such decisions are made so flippantly.

peace and healing to you and your husband :hug:

[lupinella]

135. Be well

So sorry that your physical and emotional pain were compounded by the ignorance of small minds. I am so proud of the bravery it took to tell your tale. Our thoughts are with you and yours.

[orleans]

136. really sorry you had to go through all this. it sounds devastating. n/t

[GreenPartyVoter]

137. I am so very sorry for what you have been through. *hugs* Thank you, though, for

taking the time to tell us about your experience. You are so right that "everyone would have them all the time" is just fallacious.

:hug:

[Cherchez la Femme]

138. They don't lke the abortion pill because

it limits, even more, their ability to interfere with an individuals reproductive rights.

Therefore, all those barriers.

And they complain about 'Democrats/Socialists' telling everybody how to live!

And, of course, who is the senior Senator of PA?
Why, our new, Obama-approved Arlen Specter!


What a crazy country.

[asphalt.jungle]

146. Specter is pro-choice, it's the junior (D) Senator Bob Casey that's anti-choice

that's why i didn't really have any philosophical issues with specter coming over because he isn't the most conservative of the current democratic caucus.

[Cherchez la Femme]

147. True

but he could have a much bigger impact if he wanted to.

And the fact that he's not the most conservative Democrat is, IMO, astounding not to mention disgusting.
The Democratic Party has lost its way. It doesn't realize it was reelected because the people wanted real change, not just a version of Republican-lite which Reid, Rahm and Pelosi personify.

[sfnative]

139. Thanks for telling your story

What's sad is that no woman should have to go through what you went through regardless of the circumstances. I had an abortion in my late 30s. I made my decision based on my own personal circumstances, and no one should feel that they have to justify their decision to anyone, except themselves and their loved ones.

I had an RU 486 abortion, and it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I can't imagine anyone taking this procedure lightly and using it as a form of birth control.

Why should I let a typical anti-choicer, usually a male in his 60s, make a decision or judgement about my life when he will never, ever become pregnant? At this age, I don't need a father figure to tell me what to do with my life!

[KTinaY2008]

140. Thats just what you need

when you find out that horrible news is to go through all that to get the pill that you needed. I am sorry you had to go through all that.

Pro-lifers don't care about others. So if there are any pro-lifers lurking I doubt that they will even have one bit of sympathy for your story. I can say that because I used to be pro-life. Infertility temporary made me crazy.

You know this pill for you could of been a life saver. I know it sounds silly but sometimes leaving things to nature can cause infection (its rare) and even nature may not work fully. I am sorry you had to be treated like you were buying something horrible and illegal.

I hope you feel better soon. Good luck when/if you decide to get pregnant again.

Take care,

[LuckyLib]

141. Your experience is so sad. Aside from the basic inhumanity to women, the control over

doctors' practice is simply unreal. That the medical profession isn't out in the streets over such BS amazes me. And a regular pharmacy can't dispense this medication? If it were Viagra, there'd be revolution!

Thank you for your decision to share all of this with all of us. This is a magazine article . . . you are a good writer! Get going!

[fight4my3sons]

142. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I have also had a "blighted ovum." Take care of you. :hug:

[Occulus]

143. Thanks for putting this in writing.

You really ought to call your local paper and see if they're interested in a story on this, if you feel you can go through it. People need to know that there are perfectly legitimate reasons for this drug- reasons which have nothing at all to do with an actual fetus.

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. That had to be a hell of a shock, and what you went through after finding out was IMO just oh so obvious punishment for even needing the pills.

[Book Lover]

144. I am sorry to know you had a tough time

But if we are going to share anecdotes, when I took the abortion pill, I had an easy time of it; about a billion years better than a surgical abortion (which I also have experience with). Plus, it was totally covered by my insurance; I only had my copay to pay. California versus Pennsylvania. I am so sorry you are in PA and had these bullshit hoops to jump through.

[hedgehog]

145. I'm so sorry to hear this.