Vauxhalls Not Quite Rusty Enough, says Fiat.

[GliderGuider]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/-vauxhalls-not-quite-rusty-enough,-says-fiat-200905051740/

Italian car maker Fiat has unveiled plans to take over Vauxhall, insisting the British-made cars are still not quite rusty and unreliable enough.

A Fiat spokesman said: "If you kick a Vauxhall Astra only the rear bumper falls off, while the Corsa does not have the same all-over, reddish-brown hue of a typical Italian hatchback.

"On the other hand, if you so much as cough near the new Fiat Punto, both the bumpers literally fly off in opposite directions, the doors drop off their hinges and the headlights fall out like some kind of clown car. And then it explodes."

Fiat pointed to its strong track record in rescuing troubled manufacturers. Alfa Romeo now makes stylish cars that are bought by discerning drivers who appreciate good design but have no desire to go anywhere, while Lancia has not sold a new car since 1977.

Meanwhile Fiat is also hoping to acquire the US giant Chrysler with a view to integrating its staggeringly unsuccessful technology and useless design know-how into its inexplicable strategy.

[old mark]

1. I have owned several Fiats and several Chrysler products...

Are Vauxhalls available in the US yet?
Maybe a nice Riley....

Fiat and Chrysler deserve each other.
mark

[EOTE]

2. I believe that Vauxhall is one of GM's European divisions. NT

[old mark]

4. I remember seeing a very few of them in the US in the early 1960's -

they looked like '50's Euro cheap movie space ships.
Put a Pontiac label on it, GM and I'll buy one.

mark

[Fumesucker]

3. If you have a rusty car in the UK, it will not pass safety inspection..

The sharp edges of the rust spots are dangerous to pedestrians..

The safety inspection in the UK is remarkably thorough..