Main reason to learn a foreign language: telemarketers (just for fun)

[HopeHoops]

Phone rings.

Me: "Shto zshe yob, preyom?" ("What the fuck, over?")

Him: "May I speak to (my name)?"

Me: "Ya ne goveroo po-angliskee." ("I do not speak English.")

Him: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Ne ponemayoo." ("I don't understand.")

(click)

[sakabatou]

1. Maybe I should do that too

[Captain Hilts]

2. "Hold that thought while I go get a beer" and sit the phone down works also. nt

[cloudbase]

3. Ochen Chorosho. nt

[LeftyMom]

4. I do that.

My German isn't real good, but it's good enough to fool the average telemarketer.

Alternately I put my son on the phone and he talks about Star Wars until they hang up.

[ColbertWatcher]

5. LOL! Too funny! You should record that and post it on YouTube! n/t

[chollybocker]

11. "I put my son on the phone and he talks about Star Wars until they hang up."

That made me LOL for many happy minutes. I just hope your son isn't in his thirties. ;)

[LeftyMom]

22. He's eight. He also sings to them.

He likes to sing for anybody though. My favorite was when he decided to do a top-of-his-lungs acapella performance of War Pigs in a crowded Best Buy right before Christmas. :rofl:

[chollybocker]

23. Nice! I love you and your son (but not in a scary Joe the Plumber kind of way.)

:)

[uppityperson]

24. Used to give phone to middle/high schooler who was practicing acting and voices

Did a wide range of people, from little old lady to young man, etc. Had a really fun time with it also

[MineralMan]

6. Wonderful. I speak to telemarketers in Russian, too,

courtesy of the USAF and the NSA.

Yob tvoyu mat'! works for me.

[Arctic Dave]

20. The only thing I remember is "Ochen preatna".

Not sure if I even spelled it right anymore.

[Canuckistanian]

7. Ganz Prima!

Although I would probably say "Tam krasivi karandash. Gdye moi tyalet?"

Even if they spoke Russian, it would creep them out.

[Stinky The Clown]

8. I'm soooo glad you called. I'm soooooo lonely. Will you be my friend?

Do you know what I do when I am all alone and take my pantz off?

Please play with me.

[Creena]

9. Telemarketers are fun.

If I feel particularly goofy, I'm known to time how long one will last during a discussion on bowel movements. I'm sick. I'm cruel. I'm disgusting. I know. But, it's oh so fun.

[NV Whino]

10. I answer in Spanish once in a while

Gives me a good chuckle.

Or if they specifically ask for Mr or Mrs, I respond with, "There is no Mr (or Mrs).

[asjr]

14. I finally got tired of them calling for my late husband.

I have started saying You can't speak to him because he is dead.

[Merlot]

12. Tonight I got an outsourced telemarketer

Seriously, the accent was so harsh, I couldn't understand what they were saying. Now, that's just not good business sense to have a telemarketer that people will get even more annoyed with.

Unless it was ATT calling ME to ask how my internet service was working...haha

[Donnachaidh]

16. Comcast did that to us the other night.

I REALLY had problems with the accent. I couldn't place the accent, either. But I didn't want to be really obnoxious and I just said NO. Several times. :shrug:

[Journeyman]

13. Tom Mabe likes to make 'em think they've dialed the scene of a homicide. . .

Lousy quality on this recording, especially the two doofuses who giggle and snort over the sound track, but this is one of the better telemarketer pranks . . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv3UCvxUh8E

[Raejeanowl]

17. Fabulous

This was so good I had to share it with friends. Thanks, Journeyman.

[Contrary1]

26. You will really enjoy the Bush fundraiser call:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqGM2LCg9y4&feature=related

If you find yourself with some time to kill, just do a search on youtube for Tom Mabe. Lots of great stuff. The radio nitwits laughing are Bob and Tom from here in Indy.

[Stinky The Clown]

18. Hahahahaha

Perfect!

Too bad we don't get American telemarketers anymore. We just get robo calls and BangaloreBoy

[malaise]

21. That prank cracks me up

I have tears running down my cheeks and that's not the first time I've seen it.

[Donnachaidh]

15. Good thought -- guess I'll whip out my Gaelic dictionaries and review them.

THAT should blow their tiny little minds. Might also be fun to do this with bill collectors. :rofl:

[Touchdown]

19. I just get sexual with them.

"Doesn't that sound like a great offer Mr. Touchdown?"

"I bet your not wearing a bra."

-click-

:rofl:

[Contrary1]

25. My brother lets his youngest grandchildren deal with them...

Some of the conversations he has related to me are hilarious.

[Liberal_in_LA]

27. I hate the way they just hang up. No goodbye, nothing, just 'click'

[Norrin Radd]

28. I no longer have a landline, but my favorite was:

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hi! Am I speaking to the man of the house?

Me: Um, no. Hold on a sec, I'll go get him.

Telemarketer: Okay!

Me: ~Yell "DAD! The phone..." a few times, go away for a minute. Come back. Yell "DAD!" Go away for a minute. Pick up the phone again. "He's coming, just a sec..." Then walk away from the phone, leaving it off the hook and never picking it up again.