So is “God” an American, or what?

[Cyrano]

As an orthodox agnostic, perhaps I’m not the best person to ask that question. But based on recent history, it seems to me that any “God” that may exist must be an American.

Exhibit 1: Only an “American God” could make Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld appear to be members of the human species.

Exhibit 2: Aside from a few “bad apples,” no American is likely to be held responsible for crimes against humanity. Only an “American God” could make that happen.

Exhibit 3: George Jr. murdered countless human beings, and made billions for American businesses by allying himself with this “American God.”

So my theory is that “God” is either an American, or doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what happens on this planet, or doesn’t exist.

If you have a different theory, I’d love to hear it.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Yes, God is an American.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slKNd22GGaQ

[meegbear]

3. w00t!

[Sebastian Doyle]

4. Or at least His Son is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djMHxzgntPM

[Solomon]

30. Not only is he American, but he's white too.

[MineralMan]

2. I vote for "doesn't exist."

[City Lights]

6. Seconded. nt

[SammyWinstonJack]

7. My vote too.

[Oregone]

10. I vote for I have no damn clue, but if he exists, likely Texan...

Since he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.

[Ishoutandscream2]

27. Yes, that pretty well describes us

[Soylent Brice]

23. thirded.

[cherokeeprogressive]

5. He's just a slob like one of us

Joan Osbourne


If God Was One of Us Lyrics

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

[VWolf]

15. Love that song

I remember the uproar when it first came out.

[mmonk]

8. As someone who enjoyed being with my family on Sundays

and going to Church with them and staying in a great mood, I can say I've been denied that ability now. Now it seems if I go, it is only to please my wife or make her feel ok like the way things used to be but in order to do that, I have to psych myself up first so that I will not be in a bad mood the rest of the day.

[Oregone]

9. You are forgetting citizenship criteria

God wasn't born here, and although he has resided in America, he has not followed the legal channels (unless retroactive amnesty is granted).

If anything, God could be granted status as an aboriginal (being he has lived "everywhere" since the beginning of time, it would follow he has lived in America prior to the invasion of the Europeans). On the otherhand, he doesn't belong to any recognized tribe that I am aware of.

He really cannot be an American. So either he gives no rat's ass, he is dead, or he doesn't exist.

(please forgive the male pronoun usage)

[HopeHoops]

11. I don't know about being American, but apparently he's a Penn State fan.

At least that's what the bumper stickers say.

[valerief]

12. Yep. That's why everyone hates us. nt

[opihimoimoi]

13. Using Deductive Reasoning: I ask where is His Birth Certificate?

and a Picture ID?

[valerief]

16. LOL!!! Ta da!!

:rofl:

[Maru Kitteh]

14. Yes, because he only has room for one nation under him, apparently.

Or so I'm told.

[VWolf]

17. I've seen this bumper sticker on a few cars in my area:

"God bless the world - no exceptions"


I kinda like it

[Maru Kitteh]

26. I like that one too. n/t

[moggie]

18. The KJV uses British spelling

For example, the delightful Revelation 17:4:

17:4 And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:

And we all know that the KJV is the Official Word of God. So, I'd say God is British.

[SidDithers]

19. "The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost...

is just somebody's unholy hoax" - Andy Partridge


Sid

[Tyler Generation]

20. David Bowie says he is, nt.

[gratuitous]

21. Hmmm

Maybe individual circumstances are beyond our reckoning. It's just possible that we don't know everything. But we have some general guidelines about feeding the hungry, tending the sick and imprisoned, and sheltering the homeless. That seems to be enough for my personal plate, but if you have some time and energy left over, by all means take the initiative to correct wrongdoings and injustices. Your perception might even be correct, and wouldn't that be grand!

[arcadian]

22. Probably THE greatest American.

After George Washington.

[alfredo]

24. She's French.

[TheCoxwain]

25. Actually he's from Texas... So I am not sure if he is from America

[Ishoutandscream2]

28. That's right! Texans certainly aren't Americans!

[DavidDvorkin]

29. In the 19th century, they used to say, "God is an Englishman."

Apparently he's fickle.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

31. Yes. But, he was arrested in an ICE raid and deported to Mexico.

[Echo In Light]

32. In most places the Few Big realize many dumb will buy it, and so use the 'god is on OUR side' BS