Seeking Help for personal issues when you feel Ashamed or Afraid

[Mike 03]

This issue has been raised on DU before, in various ways. There was a dramatically poignant call last night to a national radio program from a war veteran saying how hard it is for ex-military to seek help for depression, PTSD, etc... It had taken him four decades to get real help.

There is the stigma.

There is also the notoriety, if you happen to live in a small town where nothing is secret.

And there are other situations where people get "stuck" and don't know how to break through that shield and ask for help during difficult times, because things may appear to be so overwhelming. You don't know where to begin.

Has anyone had experience with struggling when it comes to trying to be strong vs. seeking advice or help during difficult times?

What if any thought or gesture of assistance pushed you in any particular direction, toward seeking help or dealing with this on your own?

[emilyg]

1. My will to

survive and get well pushed me to get help.

[CoffeeCat]

2. I grew up in dysfunctional central...

...and experienced all kinds of child abuse. I was a lost child without a family, from the day
I was born.

I think I was born seeking help and seeking a better way, and a way out of the pain.

I talked with neighbors, teachers--anyone who would listen. This got me into a lot of trouble.

I remember confiding in teachers and college professors--until I finally sought help from a
real psychotherapist. The first meeting changed my life. I was still living with my parents,
but learning how dysfunctional and sociopathic they were. However, I viewed therapists and
counselors as lifesavers--a portal to the normal world. I thought seeking a therapist was
courageous and that talking with a therapist was the way to enlightenment.

I felt lucky that therapists existed.

I have never been ashamed of seeking help. I always viewed it as a noble act.

I feel that many are ashamed because of the stigma attached to mental illness. People are afraid that if
they have a label--such as depression or bipolar--that they are crazy or that they are bad.

People who have been traumatized or abused do develop depression or bipolar disorder. However, I think it's
time we stopped calling people "mentally ILL". These conditions are very astute coping mechanisms. They
are adaptations that help people get through very tough situations. It's not a sickness---it's a very
clever way of our mind taking care of us---when we are overwhelmed or traumatized.

People who experience trauma shut down. That's the brain signaling that it is overloaded. We slap an
illness label, such as 'depression', but really it's a smart coping mechanism.

PTSD is a series of amazing coping skills. The brain creates a "pocket" where intense emotions sit
dormant--until the person feels safe enough to experience those emotions. The brain helps a person set
aside the trauma until it can be dealt with. That's not an illness. It's actually quite stunning. When
someone who comes home from war, begins to process the pain--it's a signal that the mind is ready and on
solid ground. The person isn't "crazy"--they're finally letting go of what the mind so kindly held inside
for so long.

Sorry this is so long. I wish people would get help and forget what society has to say. I also
wish that the therapeutic community could help people to process--instead of labeling and drugging.

[blue neen]

5. I really like your explanation of PTSD.

You're right...it actually is quite stunning.

[Merlot]

3. How do you get help when you don't have insurance?

[emilyg]

4. My therapist was kind enough

to let me pay half-fee and to take as long as I needed to pay.