Dear Focus on the Family;

[DCKit]

Sorry to hear about your financial problems.... Well, not really.

However, since you've done so many of us 'Moes a favor by keeping so many of our self hating, unattractive Republican brethren in the closet, married to women who don't let them out at night and, therefore, out of our bars, beds, etc..., I thought I'd do you a solid and tell you what's really going on - and it's not the economy.

It's actually very simple - your flock has been rustled, the sheeple have fled to greener pastures and taken along their thin wallets and fear of anything different.

Sure you've still got "Teh Gay" on the brain, Zygote Rights and your Bizarro World version of Jesus and His teachings, but you're old news and your gimmicks are tired. In short, you've become predictable and boring. You are now, officially, the starter wife of the Conservative, Family Values Republican party, and the divorce papers are in the mail.

Focus on the Family hit "Teh Gay" so hard and kept its' minions on outrage overload for so long that they're actually getting bored with us. As for abortion, admit it: when a gal needs one, she needs one and she'll get one. Especially when she's too young or poor to raise a child or her physician determines that either party is at risk if the pregnancy is carried to term. Your rabid stance against RU-486 is seen as hypocrisy by anyone who's bothered to learn how the drug works, and you spent so much time railing against it, your followers got curious and searched the evil Internet tubes for more truth than you were willing to provide (in the meantime, actual queers got shows on cable). And don't even get me started on your hateful, capitalist, "Me First" rendition of The Christ. You fucker's would have him back up on the cross faster than I could say "Pharisee" if the real deal ever fell in your lap - All that commie talk about "do unto others...", providing free health care and feeding the hungry. Holy Christ!

All that aside, your golden goose has been poached, and it probably couldn't have happened without the election of Barack Obama and a Democratic majority in the Congress. Under George Bush (the bestest Resident the WH ever had) your organization might have been labeled "Too Big to Fail", or at least "Too Important" and you might have scammed some taxpayer dollars to get through the hard times. Now, you're just "Too Irrelevant to Exist". While there is no doubt you still have friends in government, the Republican cash machine is out of order and as impotent as Bob Dole without a Viagra drip. So, in steps a new player: Dick Armey and his TeaBirthers.

Dick's Army of TeaBirthers (a.k.a. "Teh Army of DICK") provides what you haven't been able to - an outlet for the irrational, unfocused hatred of your former supporters. Sure, they still hate "Teh Gay", abortion and commies (and though they won't admit it publicly or consciously, "brown people"), but DICK doesn't dictate complicated views or ask them to define their hatred, just to scream and disrupt, and they're lapping it up like a toddler on a sugar binge.

And that's where you lost your flock - and why even the Republican Congresscritters are now afraid to hold town hall meetings. DICK thought they could use this as a tool to defeat health care legislation and, later, regulation, re-regulation and new laws governing the behavior of corporations, banks and Wall St. - the corporate persons who took U.S. to to the brink and want the keys to the treasury back in friendly hands. But they've gone and screwed the pooch, and, now, all of Congress wants Secret Service protection 24/7 because this crowd is nucking futs.

In short, DICK's scared the pants off the last of your formerly powerful friends, and there's little chance of going back to the prior state of subdued insanity.

DICK gave them the greenlight and the freedom to get their crazy on, and you didn't. Good on you for having some limits, but you lost your ass because you couldn't handle the flock efficiently by keeping them distracted with new and shiny objects.

[tavalon]

1. I thought you were posting a Rude Pundit diatribe

Kudos to you. That was very satisfying.

[DCKit]

4. If The Rude wants to expand upon this, Rude has my permission to plagerize to Hell and back.

Fecal on the Fambily got PUNKED by their own side... for $$$$$$$$.

[spanone]

2. fungus on the family

[loyalkydem]

3. this

is the best news I had all week.