|
Well somebody asked tonight what has been your worst bullying moment?
I was going to post there, but instead chose tho start this to point how different cultures are different but the same at the same time
For those of you who have been around, you know I grew up in Mexico. Well, when I was growing up I needed knee surgeries. Why? Bad knees, being a premie, your bet is as good as mine and the doctors. To this day I have knees that at times fall apart, and no orthodepist has been able to really give me a rational explanation. this means we have crutches and canes in this house, and yes they do get used.
Now since I needed those surgeries I ended up on crutches with full leg cast three times in my school career. The first time I was in first grade I think. The second time I was in third grade, and the third time I was in 9th grade. I was attending a private Jewish school... there are many good reasons why my parents chose to send me there, and at times I wished they saw the warning signs, earlier, or rather they did, but it took a while for them to transfer me to another school, that is another story.
THe first time around some of my wonderful class mates hid my crutches in the boys bathroom... nice and dandy, did the administration got involved? Nope... and of course that was the worst of the year. The harrasment was almost constant, since I was ahem different.
the second time around they even placed tacks on my seat... and boy, oh boy even one of my teachers, a person who should not ever be allowed to teach, and mind you did not return next year, got involved in the hazing. This time around the school administration decided I needed to go see the school counselor, since obviously I was the problem child... never mind them tacks, I did not place them... and boy did they hurt.
The third time we were in Junior high, here it would be the freshman year of high school. The hazing became a little more complex and by that time I really didn't make friends easily in that school, not that I cared. Hell I had no friends, except my writing, drawing horses and soldiers, and violent scenes, and bad poetry. I was that kid who went and hid in the library to read books during recess, and staid away from other kids. I was not a good team member, and did all I could to do my work on my own.
By then we've had enough and next year my parents transfered me to another school, where experiences improved but I still had a hell of a time making friends.
Now, you may say, it was a private school... well not really. I have compared notes with my husband, who also was harassed and bullied until he defended himself... and his experience at a local LA County school was similar. It was the victim's fault, never the kid harassed. Oh and just like him, the few times I defended myself, at one time hitting a kid in self defence, who kicked in the knees with my book bag, I ended up in front of the principal... he had a similar story to tell about that LA school.
Now how has that affected me? I am glad I no longer live in that city. I love Mexico but I could not live in that community, no way, no shape no form. And the few times I have gone back visiting, my sister may go to the sport center with my nephews, I'd rather stay home and do some work, thank you.
But once I was out of that environment I was able to make more friends, it has never been easy and I have a barrier that seems to be there. Trusting people, outside of the EMS community, is not only hard, but extremely hard, on and the vet community too. That is the other place I can trust a little more easy.
Yet I realized that it was them assholes, people I will cross the street to avoid, and yes some of them do come visit this town from time to time. Hell, one was a neighbor for a while and I could never cross a single word with him. I at times wondered, what would happen if he had a medical emergency in front of me? On a good day I think I'd act by training and treat...on a bad day... well you get the picture.
So no, bullying is not healthy, but the point of this is to show you that our attitude of blaming the victim and not doing a damn thing is not exclusive to this country. There is a saying in Spanish. Malo de muchos, consuelo de tontos, the ill of many is the consolation of the fool, but the point of this is to probably ask the qustion, is this human nature? It would explain a lot.
Oh and once I started going to college, some students made fun of my accent since my English has a nice... Eastern European accent, but that is a matter for another day.... my sweet revenge I work in Publishing.
the other point though is that I never had acccess to some of the implements available here, I am also a female, but at times I wonder, what if I had grown up with the same experience in the US? Would I have cracked? After all, violence is not seen as a cultural value sout of the border (The exception are the cartels who are not only violent but well armed)... and I could go on.... the question has indeed crossed my mind.
Oh and some may say forgiveneess is a step to recovery... save that for another day....
|