MARK MORFORD: "Everyone Should Get a Gun!"

[FourScore]

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2007/04/20/notes042007.DTL&nl=fix

"...It goes like this: If only more people had guns, no one would get shot. If only everyone was armed and everyone was packing heat and everyone knew everyone else could kill them at a moment's notice, why, no one would dare shoot each other for fear of getting killed themselves before they even had a chance to enjoy their own murderous rage.

In other words, the solution to the too-many-guns-too-easily problem? Even more guns.

More to the point: If the professors and students at Virginia Tech just so happened to carry their own swell Glock 9mm in their backpacks or in their purses just like insane sullen loner Cho Seung-Hui, maybe he would've been less likely to go on that rampage because, gosh golly, he'd surely know he'd be quickly shot dead by 100 trigger-ready students as soon as he fired the first shot. And what satisfaction is there in a brutal gun rampage if you don't get to kill more than a handful of kids? It's such perfectly insane logic, they should print it on the NRA brochure. Hell, maybe they do.

I love this line of thinking. It's like bashing your own skull with a brick and calling it intellectual stimulation..."

[AndyA]

1. Of course, Cho had already decided he wanted to die, so this would not

have been a deterrent at VT.

[whistle]

2. 303,000,000 armed Americans, can you visualize that...

...dead corpses on the side of the roads, at interstate rest areas, in allies, on front lawns, in school yards, at Walt Disney World, in the halls of Congress, where you work, littered in the drive thru at McDonalds? Much like it is now in America only a 1,000 times more. Great idea....:wtf:

[Irreverend IX]

15. In many rural areas of the US, nearly every person owns a gun...

Yet these places are remarkably free of corpses littering the landscape. I wonder why.

[LiberalFighter]

27. Their neighbors are farther away. Fewer strangers.

Less contact with people in general.

[Atman]

3. We obviously need a surge in guns

The Archie Bunker doctrine.

.

[xchrom]

4. i want a gun designed by channel.

well, lagerfeld.

[valerief]

5. "Everyone should get a gun and shoot each other!" Oo, boy! What a genius

Morford is. NOT.

[FourScore]

7. Did you read the article???

Morford is a satirical writer. He is extremely witty and snarky and, IMO, fun to read. In this particular article, he is mocking the NRA's stance: if everyone had a gun, we could all defend ourselves. That's not Morford's idea, it's the gun lobbyists saying that. Morford is just pointing out how ridiculous that idea is.

[valerief]

21. No. I was lazy. Thanks for giving me a dope slap! nt

[FourScore]

23. LOL.

We all need it every now and then. Lord knows I've (rightfully) gotten my share of "dope slaps" around here.:hi:

[Spike89]

8. Seriously? Morford is mocking that line of thought

Mark Morford clearly is deriding the concept, calling it insane and you got the opposite out of it?

[valerief]

22. Thanks for the dope slap. I'll read it! nt

[Deep13]

6. As long as they don't get one of mine.

[Dukkha]

9. did you all even read the editorial

guess what? it's all :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:

But, well, so what? Giving up such a rather hollow, morally indefensible, outdated pleasure seems a tiny price to pay for the end result of a dramatically less violent America, a less suspicious, reactionary worldview, a nation not shot through with an undercurrent of fear and blood-drenched headlines and childish notions of angry, armed retaliation.

Hell, we've done it before, with all sorts of other harsh social practices and beliefs that, we finally realized, served the soul of our species not at all and actually caused much deep harm. Slavery. Hangings. The slaughter of Indians. Monarchical rule. Chamber pots. Flamethrowers. Smoking on airplanes. Lack of women's suffrage. Eugenics.

Really, has the time not come for guns to exit the wary American dream? Can we not even imagine it?

[FourScore]

11. Thank you, Neo.

I'm glad to know someone finally got it.:toast:

[beevul]

29. Flamethrowers are legal if I am not mistaken

Just sayin lol.

[piedmont]

10. A lazy strawman that has been used by countless posters on DU

How is this new or original?

[FourScore]

12. It's Mark Morford , for goodness sakes!

How is it NOT original???

Seriously, I think he is one of the most original satirical writers out there.

[Irreverend IX]

17. Morford is recycling a strawman...

That's been used by anti-gunners dozens of times. "If CCW was allowed everywhere, shooting incidents would turn into deadly crossfires and CCWers would shoot each other because they wouldn't be sure who the original shooter was." Millions of people carry concealed in the US, and I have never heard of this happening. Until someone can post an example where "CCW crossfire" actually occurred, I'll have to write it off as another anti-gun myth.

[piedmont]

19. Not just that...

Like dozens of DUers before him, he also purposely conflates calls for an end to asinine "gun free zones" enforced only by honor code with the argument that NOBODY has made: "everybody should carry a gun!" There's not much room for discussion when you start out with such a dishonest premise.

[Twillig]

13. I'm about to bash my own skull with a brick, now.

guns don't kill irony, people kill irony.

[formerrepuke]

14. Ted Nugent, however is NOT kidding; 'people have God-given right to bear arms':

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/19/commentary.nugent/index.html


Anybody see what the evil Brady Campaign and other anti-gun cults have created? I personally have zero tolerance for evil and denial. And America had best wake up real fast that the brain-dead celebration of unarmed helplessness will get you killed every time, and I've about had enough of it.

.........What an ass.

[chaska]

16. Guns aren't going away....

Even I have a gun. It was my father's. I don't even know if it would fire, or care. But if even I have one... They're just not going away.

I think I read that there are twice as many gun owners as there are voters. Do we really need to be expending the kind of political capitol it would take to get rid of guns? Do we really want to alienate that many voters?

That said, automatic weapons and some, most or all hand guns should go.

[gatorboy]

18. I forgot how relaxing the Wild West was.

It was almost Teletubby-ish the calmness that bestowed every gunslinger in the land.

[GreenTea]

20. Marl Morford on a good day (which is usually) is the best columnist in the country

Read his whole column!

[FourScore]

24. Yep! I agree.

[Swamp Rat]

25. "...so dumbly phallic and obviously homoerotic."

:rofl:

No wonder some people are taking offense to Morford's SATIRICAL piece - it hit close to home. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[LiberalFighter]

26. You think with the preparation he went through... if everyone else had a gun

he would had a different plan? Like using a rifle with a scope and become a sniper?

[in_cog_ni_to]

28. Wow. Talk about flawed logic. OK...I see he's being sarcastic.

never mind. Next time I'll read the entire article, but right now I'm sleepy and too lazy.:)

[pinniped]

30. That plan work in high school; the kids aren't old enough to pack heat.

.