"The Snow Machine Pummeled Through the White-Dusted Plain Like a Jubilant Beaver"

[babylonsister]

Need a laugh? :evilgrin:

Write Like Sarah Palin
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/12/write-like-sarah-palin.html

Slate held a contest.
http://www.slate.com/id/2237261/

One submission:

"The minute I was on that stage in Florida with all those lights in my eyes and the smell of Alaska still on my fingertips and my family, too, all around out there, I was where I dreamed of all those years on the basketball court and in Alaskas's God given beauty which we must cherish and use as God gave it us to use and in honor of the troops, also."

Another good one:

"Reaching the peak of Igikpak, that majestic mount, feeling the smooth Alaskan wind rustle against my cheeks, watching over this vast yet tender land that epitomized so much of America's resplendent pulchritude, and slowly squeezing the trigger on the wolf cub I'd been tracking through my crosshairs, I suddenly felt in my heart something I had always known to be true: the capital-gains tax must be eliminated."

[Inuca]

1. Delicious! n/t

[fasttense]

2. So bizarre.

To go from the beauty of the Alaskan wilderness, to the inappropriate use of pulchritude (it usually refers to a woman), to killing a baby wolf cub, to feelings of the heart, to capital-gains tax, it reads more like a comedy routine.

[FSogol]

3. And, also!

:rofl:

[aquart]

4. Perfect.

[Tansy_Gold]

5. I used to write romance novels and I **never** wrote that bad.

Never. So don't go comparing this tripe to a "harlequin romance."

:puke:


TG, who never wrote for Harlequin

[spanone]

6. yea, sounds like a brilliant book author to me

:sarcasm:

[dixiegrrrrl]

7. This could replace The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest,

Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
The contest (hereafter referred to as the BLFC) was the brainchild (or Rosemary's baby) of Professor Scott Rice, whose graduate school excavations unearthed the source of the line "It was a dark and stormy night." Sentenced to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose the man with the funny hyphenated name, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who was best known for perpetrating The Last Days of Pompeii, Eugene Aram, Rienzi, The Caxtons, The Coming Race, and--not least--Paul Clifford, whose famous opener has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle Snoopy.
Here is the website for the contest, btw...some hysterical reading there.
Inadvertently, Palin may have made multiple contributions to the fame of the contest.
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

[malaise]

8. Fall down funny

rofl: