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I was 28, just had my second kid. Since my husband traveled, I got a housekeeper for about 6 months. She came one day to find me in tears, head between my knees, begging for quick death, 4 year old trying so hard to help but couldn't, baby crying. . . . She asks if there are med for me she can get/bring me, I say yes but on two Vicodin and two darvocet (yes, that's what my doc was prescribing) I can't stay awake to take care of the kids.
Now I was/am and look very uptight, I watched my brother gateway from pot to heroin and never return, I believed the BS. So she sort of whishpers, "ever tried pot for those?". "NO! I don't get stoned." She says, "I didn't say get stoned, I said try pot. Like alcohol you don't have to smoke enough to get high."
So she goes to her truck, brings in a joint, I smoke three puffs. Headache gone like magic. Gone, not dulled, not reduced, but quite literally gone. And I felt like myself, not like "stoned" which I remembered from the one time a partook back in the day with my brother's original smoking buddies. It was un-believable. So she kept me in pot, so I wouldn't have to feel all dirty going to a dealer, nice lady. Being in Oregon at the time, I also started maintaining a couple of plants, without fear, so nice.
Now and for the past 18 years, I'm in a very red, anti-pot, quite literally they'll toss you in jail for a pipe. Nonetheless, since I don't buy, sell, or share (okay I share sometimes, but rarely) I've managed to do okay here. Now needing a job with the biz stagnant, it's just frustrating. Oh, BTW, I have a couple of times quit smoking my 6-12 puffs a day and literally within the time it takes for the THC to dwindle in my system, I'm back to having headaches, just that fast.
I suffered with them for 28 years, I am resistant to even one more week of that level of pain. Suicide is quite literally the more rational choice, or so it seems for the 3-5 days out of 14 that I tended to have them.
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